questions to ponder

elizasmom posted this. I've become quite a stalker ... lol I thought it was a nice addition to yesterday's post.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Drug-free, natural childbirth.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I'm not sure, probably not. And I already did.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

I did. So did my sister-in-law.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My sister-in-law's baby. And my gramma.

5. What countries did you visit?

None. I don't travel much. lol

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

More time with my family.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

March 8. It was my last day at my former job, and I didn't even get to work because I had influenza A. July 18, when my son was born. And August 13, when my nephew died.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Giving birth. Everything else I did pales in comparison.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Lacking patience with my sweet DD and wonderful husband during my pregnancy and immediately after baby's birth.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I was on modified bedrest per my OB's instructions ... and ... that's about it. I think.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

DH's rice cooker. He was so happy. lol

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Kiddo and hubby. They were so patient and good to me during the pregnancy and they both helped with the cooking when I couldn't ... and all the people who helped when I had the baby and then the next week when he went back to the hospital ... like my visiting teacher who came and got kiddo for the day, my sister who kept kiddo for the days I was in there having the baby ...

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The Idiot Boy King and his Cadre of Deadly Sycophants. Don’t let the door hit you in the @$$ on the way out, boys!

14. Where did most of your money go?

Our mortgage and other bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The possibility of getting out of debt.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

Um ...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?

Happier

b) thinner or fatter?

Fatter, but less bloated

c) richer or poorer?

Richer, if only because I believe it

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spent time with my husband. This is a tricky thing to accomplish when you work opposite schedules, though. (this was elizasmom's answer, and it applies equally to us)

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

freaking out.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At home with my sweet husband and my children

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

With my baby, and all over again with my husband and kiddo

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Any Food Network challenge, pretty much. Oh, and Iron Chef. lol

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate is a strong word.

24. What was the best book you read?

Probably .. The Host.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Kerli

26. What did you want and get?

New wedding ring, healthy baby,

27. What did you want and not get?

a new mixer. oh, and i did NOT get my condo sold. bummer.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

I mostly watch things on DVD anymore. So it might've been a film from last year technically, but of those I saw, I rather enjoyed Stranger Than Fiction. And Kung Fu Panda.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

My MIL (as much as she makes me crazy) brought over money so hubby, kiddo, and I could go out to eat. We went to McGrath's so I could have some fish I was craving. I turned 32.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Sticking to my work goals more and being less distracted? Maybe.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

How far will it stretch? If it'll go around the belly, I'll wear it.

32. What kept you sane?

Um, family and friends who were there when I needed support.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I don't really "fancy" public figures. I rather fancy my husband. lol

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Politics were rather ... upsetting this year. That's not really the word I'm looking for. I'm glad Obama won the election. The gay marriage thing I've posted about and am not going to reiterate. I'm at peace about the messes that happened though, and that's what's important.

35. Who did you miss?

My mom.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Mojo. lol.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

There is *always* a solution. You might have to look at something in 10,000 different ways or try 10,000 different things, but there will always be a solution of some sort to your problems.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Go on, you're forgiven.

It's that time again ...

I realized I haven't really thought about resolutions or self promises yet ... and wondered why. I had sort of a realization: I sort of hate myself. I hate how overweight I've let myself get. I hate how lazy I feel. I hate how messy my house is (although that isn't entirely up to me). I hate how distracted I get at work. I hate that I don't feel "worth it" to buy myself clothes or shoes that fit. And so I eat more and move less, thus making the downward spiral continue.

It stops. Now.

In 2009, I am taking care of myself. I am taking care of my career. I am taking care of my family, my home, my finances, my addictions, my body, my spirit, my health ...

Today, I spent my Christmas bonus on me. This is big, because my last company bonus, I spent on clothes for my husband (because none of his fit) and I usually spend money on the kids or him first. So today, I bought earrings. They are pretty, CZ set in 18k plated sterling, and a pair of 14k gold balls. It wasn't a huge bonus, but I felt *pretty* for the first time in a while after getting my makeup on and putting a pair of sparkly earrings on. Wild. And so it begins. :)

Self:
*Sew something weekly, even if it is just *one* ornament for Christmas next year
*Complete one unfinished project a month
*New clothes as I shrink out of my current ones
*New shoes as I need new ones
*Girl time as needed

In order to accomplish the clothing and shoes items, I will put aside my $20/paycheck "allowance" so I can get those items as I need them. I will spend my birthday money and other monetary gifts that are given to me on those items as I need them. And I do need time away from the family to recharge my batteries, so I'll take that too and feel fine about it.

Physical Health:
*Shower and floss my teeth daily
*Move daily (walk or DVD or similar)
*Quit Pepsi/Coke/caffeine intake
*Cook and eat healthy again

Showering and taking the time to floss and workout doesn't happen every day lately, but that changes today. Overcoming Pepsi/caffeine addiction will free up my allowance money to go toward the clothing and shoes, and new workout DVDs as I need them. I know how to cook healthy and eat right for my body, I just need to put MY health and MY needs as a priority instead of sacrificing that.

Spirit:
*15 minutes in scriptures daily
*Church every week (barring illness)
*Get my temple recommend renewed
*Attend the temple with my husband

I haven't studied my scriptures regularly since my surgery a couple of years ago. My routine got messed up in the hospickle being in the ICU and all that. Things have been rocky on and off since then, and I know this will help. So will attending the temple with my husband, who has his recommend now.

Family:
*Do one fun thing a week with kiddo, even if Mojo has to go or be there
*Try to do one fun thing a week with kiddo without Mojo, even if we're just at home and he's sleeping or something
*Date my husband
*Take some time off for the family reunion in July to spend with my family of origin as well as my little family
*Get Mojo's crib put up again and *him sleeping in it*

Mojo gets most of my time and attention these days, so hopefully I can remedy some of that by focusing on spending a little time with kiddo and hubby separately and Mojo in his own bed again

Home:
*Spend an hour a day on housework, including putting laundry away as it comes out of the dryer
*Plan a menu and stick to it
*Eat out once a month or less
*Spend 15 minutes decluttering every day, even if I have to throw things away
*Get the garage door painted
*Carpets cleaned
*Touch up paint or re-paint throughout

I just need to feel better about the state of the house. I know the family messes things up behind me as I go through and clean, but if I were more consistent on cleaning, it'd look better.

Career/Financial:
*Hit my work goals (900 lines a day 6 days a week)
*Pay off the credit card, hospickle, and car (total debt: 15K)
*Tithing every paycheck

We do pay our tithing, but sometimes it takes a few weeks to get it paid because we don't go or leave it home or whatever. You don't get the blessings if you don't turn it over, so ... this needs to be done. Every week. And to get the debt paid off, I have to hit the work goals and spend less on frivolous stuff.

I know it sounds like a lot, but really, it's just me getting back to being ME again, and making things work together instead of sabotaging myself and my goals. Not that I'm perfect now or ever was, but my home used to be neater, I used to be thinner, I used to be more spiritual, and even though I'm happy now, I know I can be happier.

Menu Plan Monday

So ... I attempted lemon chicken last night. I was the only one who loved it. Per hubby, lemon belongs on fish, orange on chicken. He liked it okay, but ... yeah. I have these issues when he won't tell me what he *likes* or *wants* to eat, just acts all weird until I drag it out of him. Sort of like with the toffee/caramel debacle when he didn't want to tell me I misunderstood. lol. It has been better since last Christmas, but maybe that's because he realized how tired i was from the baby (both pregnant and postpartum). lol

Monday:
Spaghetti, broccoli

Tuesday:
crock pot something. roast or chicken noodle soup ...

Wednesday:
Maybe hot wings? Depends on hubby's work schedule. If he only has to work the 8- or 10-hour shift, yes. If he ends up working the 16-hour shift, no. We'll be at DisGrace's for however long he's there anyway, so we might just do something else. The T-Bone for Chinese. Yum. Hafta take some dairy-free snackage foods ... can't forget that. maybe i'll make pumpkin pie for NYE and have some on NYD too ...

Thursday:
Traditional New Year's Day dinner of ribs, black eyed peas, and other stuff. will do hot wings if we don't get them NYE

Friday:
orange chicken, rice, stir-fry veggies

Saturday:
whatever i didn't make on tuesday.

the best part? i have all this at home and won't have to go to the store until Friday.

Christmas was fantabulous

I'll post some pictures of our festivities later on. There was family drama, but when is there not at the holidays? This particular drama prevented us from seeing hubby's folks, but we'll hopefully be able to have them over soon and see them then.

I didn't do a Friday Fave Five, so here ya go:
1. My new wedding ring. It's my *other* Christmas present. hehe.
2. We got to go to my sister's house on Boxing Day for a couple hours. Mojo was mostly nice until the ride home, kiddo played with her cousins, and hubby even said we'd go back again. (mom where did you get that blanket in your room?? it's like mojo's favorite one of his only huge).
3. Mojo "helping" me type or hubby gaming. He's so cute and busy. lol
4. Spending time with kiddo this last week. Sure i get cranky at times but she is such a good kid, and we've had a lot of fun together making cake (we looked up recipes for the ebo online) and she's had an indiana jones marathon. wooo!
5. food item: costco's brand of spiral sliced glazed ham. delish.

Thanks Melly!

I have 44!

What Have You Done? To participate, just copy and paste in your own blog, and bold all of the things you have done. It's kind of fun!!
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb (if feeding them counts -- i'm sure we petted them, but not sure about holding them. kaje??)
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (drawn on the streets in NYC)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London (no, but I have in DC at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier)
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (I've been published *in* a book of short stories, but not a whole book of my own)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Seen Mount Rushmore in person
101. Learned to play an instrument

Ta-Da!!!

Muffin-sized peanut butter cups. I realize I am insane.

I pulled out some of the shortbread and drizzled it with chocolate.

and dipped some pretzels, too. these have caramel AND chocolate. they are getting white chocolate and almonds tomorrow. this is where I give up for the night and go to bed.

Mixed signals

What happens when you ask your husband what he wants for Christmas (because I FAIL at presents for him) and he tells you, and then later on whimpers, "you haven't baked anything at all this year," and you ask what he wants you to cook and he says "toffee," and you don't clarify that it's NOT your gramma's "super-secret" toffee/caramel recipe she got off the back of an Eagle sweetened condensed milk can 50 years ago, but the saltine toffee cookies he requested last year too when you were pregnant and chocolate made you puke, and you are sleep deprived and assume it's the FORMER?

"That's nice dear."

So now we have a batch of caramel sitting there.


And a batch of toffee cookies.

And shortbread. Because he wanted that too.


And it's all full of dairy. *sigh*

owell. I have to make white chocolate peppermint bark, too, for DisGrace, and some ginormous PB cups for his stocking. lol. I am an idiot and put everything off to the last minute.

Kiddo at her Christmas concert at the mall -- she's the one in the blue-green hat and scarf. They did great and she had fun! Woo.

*sniff*

What a good guy.

In case you don't have 8 minutes to spend watching this, a senior computer pro at a college learned there would be lay-offs at the school. He knew of his partner's financial difficulties with 4 young kids, the youngest with autism, and told the college if they had to let one of them go, to take him instead of the other guy. GMA took him to their studio, saying his wife had entered a contest, but the other guy's mom had sent them an email telling of his generosity in these tough economic times, and everyone cried.

I have been feeling pretty selfish this holiday season ... must find something nice to do for someone soon. Not quit my job (they like me and aren't laying people off), but something small.

Well, crap

The gift I picked up for Small Fry? Yeah. She already has it.

poop.

I am going to get some "pampering" stuff -- lotions that don't stink and that sort of thing, but that's just me trying to help her be a little girly. suggestions for a tom-boy-ish 12-year-old who lives in a warm climate and likes skulls are welcome. She dresses in black often and has long hair. She does not like to read, and loves videogames and comic books, the last of which I refuse to buy.

Well, crap

The gift I picked up for Small Fry? Yeah. She already has it.

poop.

Dare I say it?

I *think* I'm done Christmas shopping. I still have sewing to do, but the buying part is (finally) done. I did go over budget a little, but unlike the cashier at Costco, I DID pay my bills first. lol.

Hubby said something today about how I haven't baked a single Christmas goody this year, which is completely unlike me, so I think tomorrow and Monday will be baking/cooking days. Probably Christmas Eve as well, come to think of it. I'd intended to anyway, but since my sweetie is missing my baking, I'll get it done.

The plans are to make shortbread (with butter for gifts and with Earth Balance, which is dairy free, for me), then melt baker's semi-sweet chocolate (also dairy free) and white chocolate and dip the shortbread into the dark chocolate, then drizzle with white (except not mine), and sprinkle crushed almonds on it. I'll try and take pictures and show y'all how it turns out. Also planning to do the same sort of treatment to some giant pretzels we bought today, maybe add some crushed peppermints, AND make some giant PB cups for hubby. Would like to get some brownies made but need to make sure I have all of the ingredients correct from my SIL because hers are yummy and mine are not.

P.S. I shouldn't have let kiddo go shopping for the rice cooker with me today. She insisted on wrapping it tonight, then on putting it was from the family (instead of just me, which is what I wanted, since she picked something else to be from her and I was going to have a bunch of the rice be from the baby). THEN, on one of the packages of rice, she put the gift tag as "to Daddy from Mommy." Never mind that I would've put our names on there ... lol. Now I know.

Friday Fave Five!!!

1. Fabulous friends. Kaje has been scouting out deals for just about every gift I may have mentioned needing to buy. She rocks the casbah. Steph came to see me and saved my sanity, as I already posted. My sisters and sister-in-law, mom, and auntie voodoo (really need to think of a new nickname for her) also qualify as friends. And they're all awesome. Wahoo. I was at the school Wednesday night for kiddo's concert, and one of the other moms was asking about my wrap (which was a gift from an online friend and which I wear the baby in) and his little hat (which Steph made him). She said I have awesome friends. I have to agree.

2. Hubbers. I KNOW he's on here nearly every week. I KNOW he's the hottest thing since disco. I KNOW I'm a tad biased. I'm just so darned proud of him right now ... he has come to two of my family get togethers lately. He's come back to church. He has a temple recommend. He will be able to bless Mojo in Jan/Feb when my parents get here again. He also overcame his social anxiety and claustrophobia and braved the MALL Thursday night (a week before Christmas) to hear our daughter's elementary school choir sing. He knew he wasn't doing well last night afterward and decided on his own to take his medication, and he's doing just fine again. (aside: the same mom from the night before talked to him a bit then saw me and asked him if I was his cute little wife. hehehehe. it made me giggle). PLUS, for one of his Christmas gifts, he changed his mind on something that was just for him and said he wanted to go to our favorite sushi place on a date, which is expensive, so I bought him a gift certificate for it. He's working a zillion hours, doing the stuff I want, AND asking to spend time with me? No wonder I'm a silly, happy, giddy, very-much-in-love girl right now. I've always loved him, but he's showing me that he really is the man I fell in love with who did all this sort of stuff before the wedding! It's almost like being engaged again. lol. But better. hahahaha.

3. I'm so thankful in this economy with how things are in many places right now that hubbers and I are both employed, and that I have work during my shifts (which I should be doing right now), that our bills are paid on time every month, and that we have some funds this weekend to finish the Christmas shopping *and* buy groceries, and a little money put aside just in case.

4. "Acne Free" zit cream. I've been majorly breaking out this week, and this clears them up quickly without leaving my skin totally dry. Lurve it! You can get it at Wal-Mart.

5. Inspiration, mother's intuition, whatever you want to call it. It's saved my sanity more than once since bambino was born. This week? He was acting hungry but refusing to nurse or take a bottle. Then he started diving for my plate one night, so I realized he wanted FOOD. I gave him some mashed up roasted potato. Happy baby. He's now eating cereal and veggies twice a day, sleeping better most of the time, and we will move on to other foods next month. My MIL will be so happy I'm finally "feeding" him. hahaha.

Happy 5-month birthday Mojo!!!

Mamma Mia!

i know i'm not the only person in the world who didn't love this movie ... i thought i would like it more because i love me some pierce brosnan and meryl streep is awesome, but no.

still like the music, just not a fan of the story.

*sniff*

So ... obviously I've been really tired, stressed, and overwhelmed. Thanks to a visit from the Hat Fairy (a.k.a. steph), hubby helping more (see below), and Kiddo's awesome choir concert tonight, I'm feeling sooooooo much better.

Oh, and sleeping until noon helped too.

At the choir concert, got lots of compliments on my wrap and Mojo's hat. And one lady asked where I got them and I had to tell her friends made both gifts, and she said I have awesome friends. I'd have to agree with that.

Rented Mamma Mia, Sukiyaki Western Django, and the Horton Hears a Who? movie (whatever that last one is). Kiddo wants to see Mamma Mia, but I told her I'd have to watch it first. Hubby doesn't want to see it, but he wanted the Sukiyaki movie, which I'll probably end up watching with him.

Anyway.

Must go work on Christmas presents until it's time to wake up hubby and get to work. Thank you Hat Fairy!!

thank heaven

When hubby came home from work today, we talked for a bit about his work, and then I told him how our night went. I told him I had really needed a break before he went to work last night. He said, "Why didn't you say something???" Mildly annoyed, I said, "I did. I told you I needed a break and was hiding in the bedroom on purpose when I put the baby in his jumper, and you brought him right to me as soon as he fussed a bit anyway." He didn't hear me. He was sort of out of it last night anyway -- he missed the announcement that the baby decided last night was the night to start eating and dove for my plate, too, so I mashed up one of my potato chunks and fed him. lol.

At any rate, baby then chose that moment this morning to wake up. Hubby changed him and said, "Do you want me to take him out of here for a while?" "That would be wonderful." I had 15 minutes to myself and it felt like heaven. How sad. LOL.

soooo tired ...

baby won't take a nap, when i need a break and put him down hubby picks him up and brings him to me, kiddo dropped him on his head so she's not giving me breaks either, and i'm just worn out.

on the bright side, he was nice to the in-laws on sunday and didn't scream the whole time we were there.

bloggled.com

Go here to enter a contest to win stuff. Like an iPod. Or a Cricut.

OH, and to back up *one* blog. For free. You can pay to back up more.

Here's the email from a friend of mine who works for them. Good luck!

Hey everyone,

My latest project, http://www.bloggled.com, finally went into public beta today after 3 months of being in development. It's pretty cool software and you can use it for free, but you should really consider heading over there today because for today only the owners of the site (my clients) are doing giveaways every two hours. Prizes include ipods and a "Cricut" machine (I'm told it's some cool scrapbooking thing).

All you have to do to enter the contest is sign up for an account or follow them on Twitter or Facebook. Contest ends at 8pm tonight. Go here to see the full contest details: http://www.bloggled.com/win-prizes

So if you're a Blogger user who never backs up your blog (ie. pretty much every Blogger user), or if you just want to try and win an ipod, go check it out.

By a show of hands ...

If KerliFan reads this, the following is Top Secret and you MAY NOT tell Kiddo about this.

Kiddo asked for something for Christmas which I thought about getting her, tried to buy it on Friday and they were out. It's an Easy Bake Oven. When I couldn't find it, I first called DisGrace for reassurance that kiddo wouldn't hate me forever. And we came up with a plan of sorts to get her a cookbook so she could learn to bake with the oven (it sort of scares her), and I found a box of cookie cutters and bought it, had figured out that I could make her pot holders that cover her arms, and had decided to do that and make coupons for "baking with mom lessons." I think she would get a kick out of it all, but she really thinks that Easy Bake Oven is cool stuff. (at least she didn't ask for the newer cupcake maker thing because the reviews say it sucks and it's more $ than the EBO).

Hubby was kind of disappointed that I couldn't find it yesterday, and I talked to several people about it. I decided to try again because *even though she can cook on the real stove*, most of my friends my age, younger, or older, in real life or online, the cutting counter ladies in the Walmart fabric department, always wanted one but their parents said NO or couldn't afford it or whatever, and they've always *still* wanted one. And I thought, y'know, I wanted one too. Plus, hubby really wanted her to have what she wanted for Christmas as well (and had vetoed the pregnant/nursing doll), so I went back to the store today. They had a few on the shelves, so I grabbed one. In talking with the cashier today, I mentioned that I'd wanted one and she said she had too, and that her grandson wants one but his dad said no. They aren't even pink anymore, plus Duff is a successful baker and I think he's straight, so I don't see the problem. (ahem, tongue in cheek). I said, "Maybe Gramma should get it for him." She replied, "Maybe she will." lol.

I must add that as a kid I did get other things I did want for Christmas: Cabbage Patch dolls, Barbies, other random toys, the annual Christmas sweater (NO, not Christmas themed, but I got a sweater nearly every year ...). My parents did the best they could with what they had, and for that I am grateful. In fact, I don't remember ever really asking my folks for an EBO, but I *wanted* one so much so that I nearly bought one a few years ago, long before kiddo was old enough to use one. Yep. That bad.

I know, it's a plastic box that "cooks" with a lightbulb (which I also picked up at the store and will stick in her stocking), and yes, before long she'll be baking on her own I'm sure, but there have only been a few times she has her heart set on a particular gift for Christmas ... The last time was the year Princess Dora came out -- she was a little too old for it that year, so I told her no, but every time anyone asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she said "Princess Dora" and insisted she would be getting it. By the time she'd convinced me, there were none to be had in our entire state, so I called my parents out of desperation. Mom had just bought one and donated it to Toys for Tots (or a similar charity). I just about cried and begged her to see if she could find another one. She did and they packed it up in their luggage to bring with them for Christmas. Awesome, right? Nope. A family friend took them to the airport and *that bag* got left in her car. The family friend (who knows Kiddo from when she was tiny) *overnighted* the dang doll to my folks here ... and that Christmas was awesome simply because she got what she wanted -- too bad the shipping cost twice as much as the doll (thanks again, Mom!). She loved the doll for a while and played with it a lot, but the hair (which you could make longer or shorter at the press of a button) got all tangled and snarly repeatedly, so I braided it and told her not to take it out of the braid, but that was frustrating even though you could still make it longer and shorter. So eventually she quit playing with it. Hoping the EBO has a longer "shelf-life" of playing than the doll did ...

ANYWAY. I want to know if the EasyBake Oven was something *you* wanted as a child, if you got it and loved it or hated it, or if you didn't get it and wish you did. And if you have kids, if you will or will not get one for your kids.

shoot. I'd better get to work. Have a ton to do and the kidlets are sleeping, and I *have* to sew tomorrow so I can try and finish kiddo's Christmas project and get the back made for Mojo's quilt so Kiddo and I can tie it. Plus, I have some other stuff to sew. I don't have time to blog! *shutting up*

mwah.

sometimes, the Lord knows what he's doing ...

Okay, I've been in this ward for nearly 4 years (holy hannah), and know I've never said two words to this gal at church who has been here this whole time. She's never said two words to me, either. So I knock on her door (late for my VT appointment and my partner had already stopped and said hi but left, but I felt like I needed to go over), and I'm like, "oh my gosh, I know who you are." I never knew her name. She never knew mine. She's lived in the ward for nearly 6 years.

We got to chatting and somehow the conversation turns to her being bipolar and having severe postpartum depression after her first child (neither of which I knew about), having a schizophrenic brother (hello), her husband having depression and ADD (oh my stars ...). I told her my husband is bipolar and has a schizophrenic brother, I have depression, my sister has depression and had horrible postpartum depression with her first, etc. We could have kept talking for HOURS. She feels so relieved to have someone in the ward who understands what goes on with her because she doesn't tell people about that usually, and I'm glad she said something and has someone to talk to, and that I have someone I can talk to, too. It's so great!

I left and just thought, "Well, obviously there are reasons our house didn't sell ... and now I have another friend in the ward and she does too. Awesome! Thank you, Heavenly Father!"

Also found out today that hubby's check made up the rest of the mortgage payment (I had some of it set aside), and I bought groceries (which is why I was late to the appt) and there is tithing money. He really does love us.

P.S. I got the other sleeve stitched in, but that's it. Baby hasn't cooperated with anything today. And he's napping now, which means he's not going to bed on time tonight. ARGH. Owell. I know I'll be blessed to somehow still get my work done. hehehe.

Blast.

I left the dress in the baby's closet and he's in his room sleeeping in his car seat. I can't sew. I am a moron. lol.

Two more of hubby's co-workers were let go last night. Prayers for him keeping his job would be much appreciated.

*sigh*

On to the fave five!

1. Our bishop. He's a really neat guy and has helped hubby figure some stuff out of late. Thus, Mojo will be blessed in February (when my parents are here next). I realize he'll be 6+ months old, but hey, better then than never.

2. My sewing machine. It's about 5 years old and I got a killer deal on it. And I'm really enjoying sewing lately (except sewing satin sucks).

3. My snuggly blankie. A friend and former co-worker made me a nice and warm fleece blanket a couple of Christmases ago. I got it down from the closet this last week since it's starting to get cold, and it's nice to throw on my lap while I'm working.

4. My rocking chair/recliner. Seriously, that thing has helped out a ton with the fussy baby. Rock him to sleep, sometimes we nap together ... it's nice.

5. Visiting teaching. I'm sort of a slacker at times, but went yesterday to see one sister and will see our other one today. It's nice to visit with them and get to know some people in the ward a bit better. :)

a yittle progress

(kiddo used to say "yittle" instead of little)

The bodice of the dress is coming together. I have it all set up at my sister's/rents' because there is a sewing room there and kiddo can't see the WIP (work in progress), but I'm bringing it home tomorrow (I think) so I can work on it here on Sunday after she goes to bed. Tomorrow I'm going to set the sleeves and hopefully get the interfacings done so I can get going on the skirt on Sunday and hopefully finish it. Then I can finish all the other Christmas projects. Just need Mr. Mojo (i.e. crankypants) to cooperate with my plans.

This is sort of taking up all my energy and brain power. Bother.

At least gas is cheap right now -- driving to Springville every day to sew for an hour or two wouldn't be working out well for me otherwise.

Survey!

Spent the last two days at DisGrace's trying to get Kiddo's dress going. it's finally all cut out, after I felt like I was going to puke just looking at the pattern pieces. Then I had to cut into the expensive fabric and nearly hyperventilated. Then I pulled out the instructions and freaked out -- it's complicated. Probably the most complicated thing I've ever done. Including quilts.

I've been tagged:
I was tagged by: Steph
I am: supposed to be working
I think: I should work so I can go to bed so I can get up in the morning and do it all again tomorrow
I know: I'm an okay person, even when I make mistakes
I want: a maid
I have: laundry piling up
I dislike: messes
I miss: my mom
I fear: something happening to my kids and/or husband
I feel: cold
I hear: keys typing, baby making spit bubbles and spitting in his sleep, and the clock ticking
I smell: the spaghetti pie i made for dinner
I crave: chocolate. NOW please.
I cry: when I'm tired and overwhelmed
I search: for peace
I wonder: if I really can make that dad gummed dress
I regret: harsh words and gossip
I wish: I had the drive to get healthier again
I love: my family, friends, and the Gospel
I care: about people I don't know -- the patients I type reports on
I always: am distracted easily
I worry: about what people think of me (me too)
I am not: a size 10
I remember: nearly nothing of my childhood
I believe: the truthfulness of the Gospel
I sing: not as much as I wish I could
I don't: have solutions for everything
I argue: with myself
I write: blog entries, duh
I win: ...
I lose: my mind
I listen: to the kids crying/laughing/whining
I don't understand: why mental illness is a necessary lesson for some people in this life
I can usually be found: at home with my family and in my room typing during my shift
I need: body wash that doesn't make my skin break out
I forget: visiting teaching
I am happy: at the moment
Now I tag... dawn, jen bryner, mamabear, katie, and anyone else who reads this who steph didn't already tag.

"HI!"

So, I brought Mojo in to the bedroom when I woke up hubby so he could get to work. I put Mojo on the bed and started running his bath, and when I came in, he was trying to see Daddy but couldn't. Daddy finally moved Mojo enough that he could see Daddy, and Mojo grinned and said, "HI!" We both laughed and he giggled at making us laugh.

Then he looked over at me and said it again.

Now, I'm not sure he knows he's saying Hi, but that is the second time in the last few days he's said "Hi!" when looking at Daddy.

So flipping cute.

And yes, his first word was Mama, at about 2-1/2 months whenever anyone else was holding him. He still says it and quits as soon as *I* pick him up or take him from whomever is torturing him at the time. hahahaha.

What I did tonight

The top for Mojo's quilt. Merry Christmas.

If you follow me here ...

You may want to go to http://frootloopsandcheerios.blogspot.com/

That's my "real" blog.

Muchas gracias.

Small Blessings

Forgot to mention this ... after I'd put aside the tithing and bill money and spent all the grocery money (on food for us this time, not fabric or roaster ovens or just food for thanksgiving), hubby told me we were out of Ramen.

Ramen is a food group in our house.

1. Meat.
2. Ramen.
3. Chocolate.
4. Fruit/Veggies.

I wish I was kidding.

It's so bad that I capitalize Ramen and we have Ramen with dinner at least once a week -- dinner being composed of all 4 food groups listed above typically (sometimes missing the chocolate and/or fruit though).

So obviously, I had to go back to the store before the Christmas party. RAMEN being the first thign on my list, there were a couple of other items we needed. We were out of reverse osmosis water (I drink it; hubby and kiddo put it in their humidifiers; his is attached to his cpap machine, so we really needed it), and hubby was craving fish (and since he'd given me his blow money for groceries this week, I had to get him some fish, too, or he'd just be cleaning out the fridge eating everything but his craving since he couldn't just go buy it). I took a deep breath and spent another $20 at Macey's from the bill money and didn't touch the tithing.

We picked up the mail on our way home. In the mail was a check from the hospickle for over payment on one of my accounts.

For $20.

Thank you Heavenly Father.

Santa Claus and a Fave Five

It was errand day today. I took the kids to Walmart this morning (after the bread store, Macey's, and the gas station). Our Walmart has a Subway inside, and inside the Subway, Walmart was doing Santa pictures. I'll have to go pick them up Monday. Anyway. I was wearing Mojo in the wrap, and he saw Santa and started giggling. He giggled while I took him out of the wrap and put him in Santa's lap. He giggled right up until I started backing away to let them take the picture of him with Sissy (kiddo) and Santa. He started pouting, then smiled when I did and started giggling again. It was cute.

Then tonight, I took the kids to the ward Christmas party. Hubby had planned to attend (as he said, free food, let's go eat), but Mojo had come home from the store very grouchy and wouldn't take his nap and woke up hubby, so by the time we started thinking about getting ready to go to the party, hubby decided he had to sleep again. So, they also had a Santa at the party and took pics again. Mojo screamed. Every time the guy shook his bells, Mojo screamed louder. I don't know what the difference was except the loud bells, but my gosh, that was wretched.

At least kiddo had fun and behaved. And she sang well with the primary kids.

And the food was good, but the garlic mashies probably had at least some milk in them. I ate them anyway because I was starving. Brought home a plate of dinner and another of dessert for hubby. Woke him up, he took a few bites then realized he had a migraine, took some meds and went to work. He'll eat it in the morning I'm sure.

I've been spending time with DisGrace this week, which has been fun. We went to 3 fabric stores combined on Wednesday and Friday. She sent me an email from Jo-Ann for 50% off in stores, which I used to save half off the overlay for the skirt for kiddo's Christmas dress. Good thing since it was 9.99/yard and I needed 4-1/2 or 5 yards (I bought 5). I have to change the pattern a bit though because the dress fabric is dry clean only and the overlay fabric is do not dry clean. hahahahaha. It'll be an apron-ish sort of thing. Owell. ANYWAY. Totally missed DisGrace, so it's been good to hang out. Going over Monday to sew. Squeeee.

Work has gone pretty well this week, too. Goal next week is to be more focused and get the work done faster so I'm not up as late, although I'm still only working an average of 4 hours a night, just broken up around nursings and I'm up until around 3 a.m. most nights. At least Mojo sleeps a lot during the day still, so I'm able to nap with him.

So, for the fave five: CHRISTMAS MOVIES!

1. Elf. "These toilets are ginormous!" First movie I liked Will Ferrell in.
2. Christmas with the Kranks. "We want Frosty!" Love Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis. Not a dynamic I thought would work, but it rocked.
3. The Santa Clause trilogy. "Not valid in the state of Utah." Again, love Tim Allen. The only thing I didn't like was in #3, as the actress playing Charlie's mom had had bad plastic surgery between #2 and #3 and reminded me of the plastic Santa in #2, only worse. *shudder* But I love these movies.
4. VeggieTales: The Toy Who Saved Christmas. "with a fully functional buzz saw on his right arm!" What kid wouldn't want that???
5. White Christmas. I've only seen it a few times (seriously), but wouldn't mind watching it again soon.

Note: I've watched "This Christmas" and "Fred Claus" in the last few weeks. I enjoyed both of them as well for different reasons. "This Christmas" didn't have everything tidied up in a pretty bow at the end of the movie, like most try to do. There were still problems and things the characters would have had to face and work through had they been real people, due to their actions during the film. I *liked* that. And I liked that even though some members of the family couldn't stand each other, they came together and stood together when things got rough. "Fred Claus" was ... different. It did show the story of the TRUE Santa (that he was a real person in Turkey a long time ago, although they didn't name the country, that he gave all he had to the poor and needy, and that he was sainted for doing so). The theory of Santa having a sibling was an interesting one because I'm sure if any of you have "perfect" or "holier than thou" siblings, you could probably identify more with Fred feeling somewhat resentful and rebellious. It did wrap everything up nicely at the end, and Vince Vaughn didn't bug me. For once. But neither of those movies are Christmas faves, which I would define as a Christmas movie I'd want to watch more than once, and maybe even not during the holidays, and would stop flipping through channels to watch if I came across it on cable.

Update on the stuff

*Make another sample cloth grocery bag; figure out the handles better --- I decided not to make them for military man and his wife anyway. i'll be making them for myself because, while the bags at the store are nifty and cheap, I don't want to be "branded" by using various stores' bags. Instead ... I'm going to make matching/coordinating aprons for them all and still do a game.
*Wrap for YSIL --- still going to do this, but haven't found fabric i like yet
*quilt for Mojo --- Am about to go start cutting strips. It's flannel on top, 4 inch squares, two fabrics. It will then be tied and bound. The back is a blue cotton which reminds me of water. I'll just cut a bunch of strips and sew them together, then cut those into strips the other direction and piece them together.
*quilt for kiddo --- bought her some fleece instead and hemmed the edges for a blanket. Rock on, one present down.
*re-bind hubby's mission quilt --- need to iron the fabric and make the binding this weekend
*doll for kiddo --- I found a doll pattern/kit which is cute, but I'm not sure I have time to order it (next week after payday again) and then make it. we'll see
*surprise for The Architect and fam on or about 12/15 --- still planning on making them dinner and taking flowers over, maybe a live plant instead of flowers
*figure out what to do for the folks and the in-laws for Christmas --- Still don't know what I'm doing
*Seagull -- games for Military Man and fam; Willow Tree figurine for us --- I'll get over there closer to Christmas
*rice cooker for hubby, maybe the gaming mouse and/or phone he says he wants --- definitely getting the rice cooker, closer to Christmas. the figurine above, too. Not sure what to do with the phone/mouse sitch though.
*dress for kiddo. Yep. Really. I now have all the fabric and notions, bought the pattern quite a while ago. I'll be working on this this weekend as well.
*EZ Bake Oven for kiddo. Just have to buy it when we have more fundage.

Not Christmas related
*Pick up the pace at work and hit my goals so we can get our baby emergency fund done and get started on our debt snowball --- I've been forcing myself to stay awake later and have actually hit my target 3 of 4 days this week. Hallelujah.
*Use the rest of the free formula coupons before they expire 12/31 --- Next week.

You may notice ...

This may be more public of a blog than it used to be ... I changed my profile to show this blog and not stewie's life. I almost never post on that one and the drama has chilled, I'm doing better, and really ... I blog stalk enough people, it's really not fair for me to only have a blog I never type on in my profile. If you're going to stalk other people, they should be allowed to stalk you too. bwahahaha.

TTFN. I gotta get back to work while Bambino is sleeping. Mwah.

9:09

I woke up this morning to kiddo getting on the bed and saying, "Hi."

"Um, hi. what time is it?"

she looked at the clock. "It's 9:09."

"Crap, why didn't you wake me up before? Go get your stuff."

"Daddy just sent me in to wake you up."

"okay. I'm up. Go on."

I looked over at the clock. It was 9:10 on hubby's clock, which is set 15 minutes faster than the rest of the house because that way he gets to work on time. She knows this. I know she knows this. I also know she told me that time on purpose, since there is another clock on the wall that shows the correct time. I got dressed, got her in the car and said, "You didn't tell me the truth."

"Well, I knew it would get you out of bed." She said this like I'm the laziest mother in the world.

No. I finished work at 3:15 a.m. Not kidding.

"Honey, you know I'm not just 'sleeping in' right? I stay up late working. and if you and the baby don't cooperate, I still have to stay up and finish my shift. You know that, right?"

"uhhhhhhhhhh ... no. I didn't."

So all this time, she just thinks I'm lazy mama. *snort*

what a kid.

What happens when...

Mom is in the bathroom being sick, the baby is tired and screaming, and the 9-year-old is trying to help but doesn't hold the 16-pound 4-1/2 month old with both hands?

Booboos and more tears, that's what.

*sigh*

Stuff

Just random crap I need to get done before Christmas:

*Make another sample cloth grocery bag; figure out the handles better (I made one tonight but don't love the handles)
*After I figure out the pattern, make 5 bags for Military Man and his wifey-poo
*Wrap for YSIL
*quilt for Mojo
*quilt for kiddo???
*re-bind hubby's mission quilt (someone made it for him and gave it to him on the mission; it is now falling to pieces just around the edges, so I need to make a new binding and add it)
*doll for kiddo??? (she wants this one, which I think is weird and way too much $, so I'd rather find a doll/dress pattern and try and make one and add a little "uterus" and boobs, and a tiny baby, lol)
*surprise for The Architect and fam on or about 12/15 (the day they were supposed to have their baby)
*figure out what to do for the folks and the in-laws for Christmas
*Seagull -- games for Military Man and fam
*rice cooker for hubby, maybe the gaming mouse and/or phone he says he wants


Not Christmas related
*Pick up the pace at work and hit my goals so we can get our baby emergency fund done and get started on our debt snowball
*Use the rest of the free formula coupons before they expire 12/31

there's other stuff but mojo is done letting me type.

Friday fave five ... a day late.

1. Hubby. He ... gets overwhelmed with my family. But he went to The Architect's house last night for dinner with the kids and me. It was a great visit. Mojo did really well while we were there. He did not do so well at the in-laws' on Thursday, so hubby was very worried about how he'd be, not to mention his own bipolar trigger of my family. (hey, his family can trigger a crash, too). Anyway. He went, voluntarily, and we had fun. He suggested we try to get to my folks' for Chirstmas, but it's just impossible with the nursling and the timing... and I'm so grateful he suggested it. He is starting to realize how much I miss them and that he needs to be supportive and go with me to visit them. Life is better. lol

2. Thanksgiving food. Not just the yumm-o turkey and stuff I made (my own comfort foods from my childhood), but the Tongan stuff was delish. And MIL cooked some Tongan comfort food, which hubby rather enjoyed, and they sent us home with a bunch, so he's in heaven.

3. Spending time with family, mine and his. I know I said I'm glad I don't live with my in-laws, but I am glad for the time I do get to see them, especially my YSIL. She and kiddo get along great and kiddo adores her. Loved spending time with The Architect, his wifey-poo, and their kidlets, too. Looking forward to seeing DisGrace and Dizzy (and whoever else is around) when they get home from my folks house or next week or whenever soon. And when my folks come back to visit in a couple of months.

4. Rain. Not snow. Rain.

5. Naps. Naps are good. Warm soft blankets, cuddly pillows, warm baby ... Better go snuggle him and sneak one in while I can.

Happy Thanksgiving

On Thanksgiving, I usually get mushy and talk about how awesome my husband is (even though we have issues and he has more of them, he's still awesome) and how thankful I am for him, how great my kids are, how wonderful my family is, church stuff, etc., and while that's all true, I'm going to say just one un-mushy thing instead:

I'm so thankful we don't live with my in-laws. Truly, truly thankful. I love them, but yeah ... Gratitude abounds.

EDIT: Hahahaha. wow, that was backhanded at my dearest. Hm. Guess I'll be mushy.

Issues: He is bipolar. I have depression. We have debt. That is just about all our issues, everything else is just part of those things or triggers the bipolar.

Awesomeness: He lets me sleep in, in the bed, with the baby, even when he's tired when he gets home from work in the morning. He'll go sleep in another room since he can't sleep with bambino in the bed. He works mad hours so I can work part time and be with the kids. He cleaned the toilets without telling me a couple of weeks ago. I noticed immediately and he acted all innocent. "what are you talking about?" lol. He let me use his "blow" money on PEPSI for ME last week. He holds me when I cry, even though he can't stand the tears. He loves my kids and treats my daughter like his own, to the point people have asked how the two of us got such a fair child. lol. He doesn't get after me when I don't cook, just says it's okay and goes on his way. He eats the food I cook now. We have learned to compromise on some stuff. He's trying to be more active in church and do family scriptures and stuff. Things aren't perfect, but I'm happy. :)

punkin' pie!!!

the dairy-free pies turned out rather well. i couldn't wait until tomorrow, so we all just had some. hubby didn't know it was tofu, so while it wasn't quite as smooth as normal, it is a success. yumm-o! I did add 1/2 c sugar to the recipe (which i had doubled to make 2 pies), and that was just about perfect. squeeee!

um, yeah, going with the sweet potato casserole

I made one of the previously mentioned and linked sweet potato balls. I am a fan of coconut and sweet potatoes and marshmallows, so I thought I'd love them. I was wrong. They're okay, but I'm glad I only made one.

What's on YOUR Menu?

DisGrace went to visit the folks with her fam for Turkey Day. I miss them and I miss my folks (I'll be honest, mom mostly), and had decided I didn't want to go to my in-laws after all the drama with my SIL and YSIL and MIL ... *sigh* Hubby convinced me otherwise.

We are making the dinner and taking it over there.

Except the turkey -- he's going to take it over tomorrow (I think) and have them cook it in our new roaster (which I bought today so I could have the oven for everything else. Like pie.)

EF inspired me to list the dishes we'll have, so, aside from the turkey, unless something is going to be purchased pre-made (like the rolls), it's being made by me.

*turkey. want to brine it, but i'm not in charge.
*mashed red potatoes w/gravy
*dressing
*stuffing (I'm attempting this for the first time; dressing is easier; i'm doing both)
*sweet potatoes (either changing up my normal casserole to be dairy free or sweet potato balls, not sure which. might make some balls tomorrow to see how I like them before I decide ...)
*pumpkin pies (I found a dairy free recipe; I'll make two dairy free and four regular)
*Green beans and veggies of some sort (again, dairy free, so no green bean casserole either)

I'm half hoping MIL decides not to cook/buy traditional Turkey fare and instead makes something Tongan. But she's been weird about food lately, so we'll see what happens.

ETA: Oh, yeah ... forgot the cranberry relish. I'm taking it anyway, even though hubby looked at it weird the first time I tried to take it over there. Yum.

Going to Step on Toes -- Enter Soapbox

I was at the doctor a couple of weeks ago (for an eye infection; it's gone now) and ran into my neighbor/friend/ward member. She and I really get along well, and she has been a great support during some rather difficult times. She's a single mom and her ex treated her rather like my ex did. So we got to talking about how things were going for her, and she mentioned that her ex has roommates, and had recently rented a room to a gay man! She was horrified because he hadn't told her before she dropped off her son for his weekend visit with dad, and she doesn't want her son "in that kind of environment."

Honestly, I was shocked. She has been so open and accepting of the mental health issues we have in our marriage and has talked me through some things, and she's just such a loving person, I couldn't imagine that sort of attitude from her.

Gay marriage, prop 8, and the church's stance notwithstanding, the brehren have never said "being gay is synonymous with being a predator/pedophile." In fact, the brethren have stated from the pulpit many times that gays are our brothers and sisters and we should treat them with kindness and love. Of course, this same friend was shocked beyond belief that sex was being discussed amongst 3rd and 4th graders at our elementary school and that there were pregnant 6th graders last year, but hadn't heard anything until *I* brought it up.

I'm not saying that it doesn't bring up sticky issues and hard topics of discussion with your children, but oh my stars, you have to have those conversations *anyway*. You have to teach them *anyway*. You have to be open with them *anyway*.

We had gay neighbors a few moves ago. They were some of the sweetest people I met in that area. One of my friends from my teen years is/was gay (and a cross dresser, although the last time I saw him, he was dressed as a man in a business suit and had lost the fake fingernails and eyelashes). He is also a lovely person and I rather miss his open, loving kindness as we lost touch long ago. I'm sure there are rotten gays, but there are also rotten straights, and you have to teach your kids correct principles of behavior in all aspects, not just what we believe to be right as far as sexual orientation is concerned.

I guess what I'm saying is that loving the sinner and hating the sin is far from where a lot of church members are these days where gays are concerned, even if that's where the Savior taught us to be about everyone. I have had to take a step back and go, "okay, she's still my friend," even if that attitude is there. So I'm guilty too, but in the opposite extreme.

My sweet baby just woke up, guess I'm done for now.

How I spent Saturday morning

"Mom, I don't feel good."

"I'm sorry; don't come in here and don't breathe on me or the baby."

"Mom, I really don't feel good."

Thud, thud, thud, as she ran to the bathroom. *hurl*

*sigh*

Guess how I spent Saturday night? Screaming baby, upset tummy.

loverly.

p.s. if your screen name is the same as your real name, I will use it in posts. :P

Rockelle asked ...

"Hey is there a reason your are calling her kiddo and not her name?"

Because I'm a paranoid freak. lol.

I don't mention any of my kids' names on blogs or forums at all.

Seriously, even though this blog is fairly private, the situations with my ex and hubby's ex and our older two children make it so I'm more comfy not to name any of us by our real names. That and we teach our kids internet safety -- don't tell anyone your real name, how old you are, where you live, what school you go to, etc. I figured I'd better practice what I preach.

I will occasionally post pictures, but keep the locations, names, etc., alllll under wraps.

So now you know.

Mindtrac

Good stuff.

I need it. I found it. I took it.

I feel better.

That is all.

The Answers

And ... happy 4-month birthday Mojo!!!


1. How old am I? 32

2. Where did we meet? Dawn was technically right about where we met. :P

3. Take a stab at my middle name. Fatoush. Yep.

4. Color of my eyes? blue-green (they change, technically I guess they're hazel)

5. Do I have any siblings? Yep

6. If so, how many? What are their names? Ages? -- I have 5 sibs: DisGrace (40), Mamabear (38), Military Man (36), Architect (32, er, 34 I mean), and Little Brother (30).

7. What's one of my favorite things to do? Not sew diapers, but I do like sewing. I like blogging, crocheting, quilting, kissing my husband, terrorizing my children ... (and yes, the latter two do sometimes go hand in hand, lol)

8. What's my favorite type of music? Me playing the piano. Too bad I don't have one.

9. Am I shy or outgoing? Depends on the day.

10. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? Dawn was also correct -- it depends on the rules.

11. Any special talents? I am a classically trained musician and play lotsa different instruments. Plus I sing. I can type well. And I am a decent cook -- those PB bars are pretty good ...

12. Do I have children? Yep.

13. If so, how many? What are their code names? Ages? Three. Dawn was right: Small Fry (12), Kiddo/Kidlet/Munchkin (9), and Mojo (4 months).

14. Do I have pets? Absolutely not.

15. If you and I were stranded on a deserted island, what is one thing that I would bring? Eyebrow pencil so I don't scare you.

I have three wishes for Christmas (birthday, Mother's Day, whenever we can afford them). If you know or can guess what they are, bonus points!
1. A piano.
2. A new wedding ring (mine no longer fits) and/or mother's ring.
3. A Bosch mixer.

I found my wallet.

I bet most of you didn't even know it was lost. lol. I haven't been able to find it all day, had prayed several times to locate it, and (like other times I've lost something and couldn't find it) decided to just wait it out and the Lord would help me find it when I calmed down.

Kiddo and I were looking for it earlier today, and she said, "Mom, have you prayed to find it?" "yep." "Well, let's say another prayer."

I asked her if she'd had any inspiration later on and she said no, that she'd watched me look where she had thought of.

It was in my room, which is where I thought it was, under a laundry basket which I'd moved before but hadn't seen the darn thing. lol.

So when I found it, I went in and woke her up and told her, then I thanked my Heavenly Father for helping me find it. She's not perfect and she does make me fairly crazy sometimes, but she's a good kid and knows Heavenly Father will answer her prayers.

Case in point: She had a play date with her BFF last week. They were playing pirates in the playhouse, and got stuck. The door would not open and was starting to get dark outside, so they were starting to get scared. Kiddo said, "[bff] maybe we should say a prayer." So these two little girls knelt in the play house and prayed to Heavenly Father that they'd be able to open the door and get back in the big house and be safe. Immediately after saying Amen, they were able to open the door, and they then said a "thank you" prayer to Heavenly Father for helping them get out.

*sniff*

I sure love that kid.

Brilliant Moves

There are times as a parent you are just the opposite of Brilliant. Commenting on Katie's blog tonight, I remembered one of those times.

When Monsters, Inc. first came out, Kiddo was a toddler. My folks and I took her to see it. She loved the movie, had a blast watching it. And then we went home. She had a nightmare that Randall (the villian, in case you haven't seen it) was in her closet. I found some "monster killing spray" (water in a spray bottle) and sprayed the closet to chase monsters away. I also had to spray under the bed and everywhere else in her room, my room, the bathroom, the halls ... she drew pictures of Randall (as best she could) and said he was in her closet nearly every night.

It continued for months.

Not kidding.

The "monster" stories stopped.

Then she asked for it for Christmas.

*sigh*

I am a sucker.

I bought it.

*sigh*

More spray.

She outgrew it eventually. We still have the video, but I think I'm going to hide or sell it before Mojo gets to that age ...

Another brilliant move I made was when she was about 3 and kept shrieking at me "MOMMY!" all the time, several hundred times a day. I finally lost it and yelled back. "I'm not mommy anymore! I'm changing my name to JOE!" She cried hysterically until I apologized and cuddled her and apologized some more. Oddly enough, later on one of my good guy friends I met on a singles website (when I was still single) was named Joe, and he is still one of her favorites.

Let's think. I know I made a brilliant move recently. Something about ... OH, yeah. Daddy grounded her from movies, TV, videos, everything because she hasn't been doing her homework. I accidentally let her watch a movie with me yesterday. She is still grounded. *sheepish look*

It's kind of pointless to nag your kid to put her laundry away when *yours* is still in the clean clothes basket. Or clean her room when you can't see the floor in yours. Or clear the table from her breakfast/lunch/dinner when there's nowhere to put the dirty dishes in the kitchen. Thankfully, going part time has freed up my actual time during the day as well as brain power and emotional strength, so I've been able to do a few things around the house the last couple days. Woohoo!

Anyway. She's turning out okay, although she has a few funny quirks. You could call them twitches maybe ... I guess reminding myself of the wise things I've done and still do with her made me excited to warp Mojo as well. Just not with monsters.

Friday Fave Five

1. My sister just applied for the company I work for. A friend just started working there. I love my job anyway, but can you say "referral bonus"?

2. My new computer. It has a webcam (and microphone) built in. So, I took a late-night pic of Mr. Mojo and me. lol

3. Being a part-time employee and a full time wife and mom again. My house might actually get clean again, too.

4. Naps with my baby.

5. The new WoW expansion. I bought the collector's edition for hubby, but he gave me the code for the new pet because I love having little creatures follow me around. At least in-game. lol. And with the built in computer mic, I can get on and actually participate with hubby's brother and friends and their wives (those who have them) instead of feeling like an outcast. Wooo.

Pieces of naught

I heart Dawn. She made this even funnier.

8 TV Shows I Hate to Watch or have Hated to Watch
1. Walker, Texas Ranger - sorry Chuck, but WTH??? (amen, although it's my parents' favorite show)
2. Pokemon (gah ... agreed)
3. Donahue
4. Jerry Springer
5. Survivor
6. The Bachelor
7. Desperate Housewives
8. Doc (Billy Ray is much better in Hannah Montana. Which isn't saying much.)

8 Things that DIDN'T Happen Yesterday
1. I ate cheese
2. Cleaned the whole house top to bottom
3. Mojo got potty trained
4. Kidlet cleaned her room
5. I cleaned the car
6. Small Fry called
7. I worked 8 hours
8. I had my boobs to myself

8 Least Favorite Places to Eat
1. Carl's Jr.*
2. Chili's
3. Elementary school cafeterias (ugh, amen)
4. Outback Steakhouse*
5. Sonic (although I heart their slushies and drinks for 1/2 price)
6. The Chinese buffet (sorry honey)
7. Chuck-a-Rama. (if I have to go to a buffet, I'd rather go to Golden Corral and eat 30 rolls, even though I'm sure they have some milk in them).
8. Los Hermanos. Because I can't eat cheese or milk or dairy, and I love their food. I'd rather not go anymore. *sniff*

*Everything I have ever eaten at these two restaurants has made me incredibly ill.

8 Things I Am NOT Looking Forward To
1. My first postpartum AF
2. My MIL/FIL needing caregivers because it will probably be us, and with them comes YBIL who is schizophrenic
3. Cleaning off the stove. *shudder*
4. Hubby's next crash (probably next week ...)
5. Kiddo's first AF
6. My next pregnancy (I just want the baby, not the hurty/tired parts)
7. My first colonoscopy/mammogram/next Pap/other preventative testing
8. The bad stuff *before* the Second Coming

8 Things NOT on My Wish List
1. A hangover (or what precedes such an event)
2. Pets
3. Depends (SO true)
4. Dentures
5. Small Fry's mom to call me
6. YSIL to get back with FOB. *shudder*
7. To ever see my ex again
8. Mojo to wake up as soon as I decide to have a nap (which I'd better do since he's still sleeping)

Pieces of Eight (survey day apparently folks)

8 TV Shows I Love to Watch
Since I don't watch TV much ... how about ... TV shows I *have* loved watching, whether they're on the air or not anymore?
1. Alias
2. Ace of Cakes
3. Trading Spaces
4. What not to wear
5. Mork and Mindy
6. Wizards of Waverley Place
7. Charmed
8. Friends (yep, used to watch it all the time)


8 Things that Happened Yesterday
1. Drama with the in-laws
2. Stayed up working way too late
3. Mojo took only 2 ounces of formula (which is awesome; he'd taken 8 Sunday and is totally constipated, lol)
4. Napped with the baby
5. Nursed the baby in front of my MIL, SIL, niece, and nephew without a blanket (!) since he was overheated. SIL is awesome -- she made FIL and BILs leave the room before I even tried, rather than make me go in a different room like MIL usually makes me.
6. It rained
7. I talked to HethaB for a minute or two
8. Argued with MIL about whether Mojo is ready for solids. I am annoyed.


8 Favorite Places to Eat
1. Happy Sumo (delish sushi)
2. Panda Express (Chinese ... yum)
3. Betos (oh, yum, hold the cheese and sour cream for me)
4. Bajio (chicken green chile salad)
5. T-Bone (Chinese/American in Springville)
6. Burger King (I know)
7. Sakura has yummy sushi too
8. My house (let me pat myself on the back and say I'm a good cook. And so is hubby when he chooses to be and kiddo is learning)


8 Things I Am Looking Forward To
1. The 2nd Coming (ditto)
2. Seeing DisGrace tomorrow
3. The Holidays
4. Mom and Dad coming again in Jan/Feb and then for a summer vacay
5. WoW's new expansion this weekend (hopefully Gamestop figures out what the heck they're doing and ship ours out tomorrow)
6. Having an emergency fund
7. Getting out of debt
8. Saving money


8 Things on My Wish List
1. A bubble bath (might have to schedule some time for hubby to watch bambino)
2. My home was clean and organized... (Amen -- although me being part time should help with that some at least)
3. That I could eat milk and dairy products without suffering for it later
4. That I had the motivation/energy/commitment/patience to lose 100 pounds. Today. lol.
5. Another baby. In a couple years.
6. That I hadn't just given myself a heart attack thinking I'm missing money in my bank account.
7. For my loved ones and myself struggling with testimonies, health issues, or other things right now to have the peace and comfort we need.
8. A bigger bed.


8 People I Tag
Umm... you... eight. (yeah, me too. i don't know that i even have 8 readers though ...)

a survey i forgot to do

sorry steph. brain damage.

Five things... I've probably done it before too.

5 things I was doing 10 years ago ...
1- Starting my adventures as a single mom. (crap, that's a lie, I'd just gone off of the pill trying to get pregnant with kiddo. 9 years ago was the single mom gig)
2- Working at MarcLink, making library databases.
3- Driving a 2-door Nissan Sentra ... try getting infant seats in and out of THAT (driving the car, but not dealing with the baby seat yet)
4- Filling out divorce papers. (mm, no ... still lived in springville with two dogs, two cats, and a deadbeat ...)
5- Filling out credit counseling papers. (mm, no to this one, too ... we were about to be evicted from our apartment)

5 things on today's "to do" list...
1- Send an email to my boss about going part time (check! It's now official)
2- Schedule an appt for hubby for a med check (oops)
3- Let DisGrace know I'll have to be more flexible with time tomorrow (check)
4- Make VT appointments (oops)
5- Change the dishwasher and run it (check!)

5 snacks I enjoy...
1- Pretzels
2- Dairy free chocolate
3- Baby carrots
4- Almonds
5- Corn chips

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire...
1- Buy a new house (older and remodeled, not brand new)
2- Pay off all my debt including my car
3- Buy a minivan
4- Save/Invest
5- Hire a maid

5 places I have lived...
1- Provo
2- Richmond, VA
3- Hillsboro, OR
4- American Fork
5- Springville

5 jobs that I have had...
1- Service driver for a car dealership
2- Cashier for Fred Meyer and the car dealership
3- Data entry
4- Private tutor
5- Piano teacher

Rules: Each player answers the question themselves. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, Let the person that tagged you know when you've answered the questions on your blog.

Um, I tag ... Dawn, Bryner, and anyone else who hasn't been tagged this go-round

vey~sur

It's a twist on the typical survey.

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!! lol. But it's filled out by YOU.

If you want to play, leave a comment that answers these questions about me, copy the below to your blog and put in your comment that you want me to go there and fill in the answers about you. Be honest. If you don't want me to answer these questions about you, you can still answer them for me if you want.

1. How old am I?

2. Where did we meet?

3. Take a stab at my middle name.

4. Color of my eyes?

5. Do I have any siblings?

6. If so, how many? What are their names? Ages?

7. What's one of my favorite things to do?

8. What's my favorite type of music?

9. Am I shy or outgoing?

10. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?

11. Any special talents?

12. Do I have children?

13. If so, how many? What are their code names? Ages?

14. Do I have pets?

15. If you and I were stranded on a deserted island, what is one thing that I would bring?

I have three wishes for Christmas (birthday, Mother's Day, whenever we can afford them). If you know or can guess what they are, bonus points!

I'll post the answers next week.

Oh.My.Stars

Who on earth leaves a pregnant woman in charge of two preschoolers all day long with no food in the house aside from sugar-coated cereals and cookies?

My mother-in-law, that's who.

Don't get me wrong. She and I have a great relationship and she made sure I had enough to eat the entire pregnancy with Mojo. She would give us money to go out to eat or send home food with us, and made sure she cooked every time we went over there.

Apparently, with her daughter being pregnant, it is a different story, because I got an email from SIL saying that OBIL had taken her car, FIL had the truck, and MIL had the van, so she was home with the kids (OSIL and her DH left their 2 kids with them all for the week while they play in Vegas) and hadn't been able to eat anything all day, and the KIDS had OD'd on SUGAR because that was all that was in the house. She was near tears.

Without hesitating, I packed up the dinner I'd made that was just finishing (chili mac), bread and lunch meat, some juice and cheese, plus the kids, and got down there in 15-20 minutes. MIL had arrived with more junk food, fried chicken, jello, pudding, potato salad, and actually seemed sort of offended that I'd come to SIL's rescue. SIL had eaten some of what MIL brought, but she was hungry and what she had eaten made her sick. So she ate some chili mac and so did the kids, kiddo and I ate with them, and MIL loaded us up with some of the stuff she'd brought home to take to hubby because she wanted OBIL, YBIL, and FIL to be able to eat what I'd made (but was upset that I brought it?????).

*scratching head*

Yeah, she makey no sensey at times. At any rate. I had made extras and no idea why. But for about $3.50, I fed 5 adults and 3 kids, at least part of their dinner. MIL spent way more than that on the not healthy stuff she'd bought. *sigh*

Hubby and I decided SIL needs to learn to be a mommy ... and how to feed a family on the cheap since she's gonna be single for the foreseeable future. And MIL can't teach her that or how to cook really, so he told me I could go part time so I could help her more. lol.

As I said, I do have a good relationship with MIL ... hubby says she'll take care of me and our kids before she takes care of him or her other children, which also makes no sense, but hey, whatever. That just leaves me room to teach SIL some stuff... ;)

Conversion

I took the kids to church today. Hubby ... is struggling for different reasons than I am. Good thing, right? lol

He has been told by managers who are not his managers that he can't work the hours he is. His manager told him they were fine. Frankly, we need him to work 50 hours a week to make our bills and get out of debt. Last night a different manager stuck his nose in it and hubby's is out of town. Bah. He's doing better on the lithium but hadn't increased his dose yet, so he came home all angry and sad and in pain. Part of the problem is that the ones telling him stuff that is different from his boss and generally treating him like a moron are LDS, and his boss who sicks his neck on the line for hubby all the time isn't. *sigh* So, he didn't come even though he'd wanted to.

But the kids and I made it. I took Mojo into an empty classroom near the chapel during sacrament meeting and nursed him with a blanket on. We could still hear the speakers, who were talking about conversion being a process rather than a one-time thing. He fell asleep within a couple of minutes. I handed him to kiddo, put on my wrap, and we went into the chapel.

After sacrament meeting was over (which we heard part pf the last speaker, the closing hymn, and the prayer), I got a few comments about ME having separation anxiety from the same sisters who told me i was huge throughout the pregnancy. i don't know if he sensed my agitation or what, but he woke up, and I think I managed 5 minutes in Sunday school and Relief Society each with Mr. Grumpy Pants. lol. When I took him to the mother's lounge later, he did his normal thing of screaming at me in there and refused to nurse. i should have found another empty classroom.

It's a darn good thing I had a good Friday night for my testimony or I may have decided never to return. lol

Friday Musings

I've been struggling a lot this week. With my faith, with the Prop 8 thing, with the neighbors and school kids and a few other issues ... like knowing the Church is true and what is right and unable to reconcile it with other beliefs and opinions I have as well.

I was praying tonight before and during work for some guidance because I'm hurting. I just don't know what's to come and I look at my 9-year-old and my 3-1/2-month-old and wonder what on earth is in store for them ... and I wonder how my 12-year-old is doing with all of this, living in California at the heart of the conflict, a baptized member of the Church but living with a nonmember mother in an anti-Mormon environment ... not having a great relationship with us mostly because of her and her mom's choices but also because of ours ... and I hurt. And if I can't get my heart and head and spirit to gel, my children are in danger because I can't teach them what's right if I'm messed up.

For some reason, I went to Youtube (after watching the funny video I posted earlier for the 10th time) and just started looking. This is the very first thing I found, and it holds all my answers. Not anything specific as far as the above issues, but President Eyring's words specifically hit me: I have been too casual in my worship, in my studies, and in my home.



I have to get back to it. I just do. Even if the baby screams the entire time we're there, even if I have a headache, even if my husband is too dead tired to go after working a 14-hour shift to provide for our family, even if my 9-year-old would sometimes rather play with her cousins than go to church ... Even if *I* am the one making sure we get there. Even if *I* am the one instigating family scripture study again. Even if *I* am the one doing FHE. Every day, week, night, whatever. I will do it. And we will be okay.

ETA: blast, that was the wrong video. lol. This is the right one.

and I don't know if my husband knows how much I'm struggling right now, but he has been really great the last few days especially ... he even cleaned the toilets. ;)

now *this* is cool

love me a little john williams and a cute guy with a nice voice ...

Wait a minute ... it's not him ... it's MOOSEBUTTER!!! Does anyone else remember that Singlesaints party in 2003???

Good Times With the In-laws

So, my SIL who lives elsewhere told me she'd be in town this week and asked if we wanted to do something for hubby's birthday. No, but I planned on going over to see her, her hubby, and their kids anyway. And show off the baby.

We got down there and the kids wanted to jump on the trampoline. She sent her hubby out with the kids (both of theirs and my kiddo), and we sat inside chatting with little SIL (who is pregnant). I asked if they cared if I nursed the baby in there since I was tired of having to leave the room every time I needed to feed him over there, and my FIL, MIL, and BIL were all gone. They didn't care, so I just fed him there. Then the kids and hubby came back in and upstairs. That was a tad weird since her kids kept asking where the baby went and tried to uncover him more than once, and that particular BIL has said maybe 2 words to me since I married into the family. Then FIL came home. "Don't come up, [Stewie] is feeding the baby!" lol. He went downstairs and hid instead. Mojo fell asleep and all was well, even with the kids being rowdy. FIL came upstairs to see everyone.

So the sisters kept debating what they wanted to do, decided to order sushi, and SIL sent hubby away to get McDonald's for the kids. While he was out, they finally figured out what they wanted on the menu (I'd chosen pretty quickly), called it in, and then she called him to tell him to pick it up. Then somehow the discussion got to breast feeding again -- out of deference to my FIL and MIL and DH, I do go in my in-laws' bedroom and shut the door when I'm there feeding the baby and they are home. FIL left the building when I tried feeding the baby at the clubhouse at kiddo's birthday party, so that let me know right there that things would not be as open as they always have been in my family. I always cover up unless I'm at my own home, don't just whip it out and stay hanging out, y'know? But I digress.

SIL said her husband figured out pretty quickly to just let her feed the baby wherever or she freaked out on him, so it didn't even phase him that I was nursing the baby in the living room when he came in. I thought that was cool. Told hubby later that since FIL and MIL and BIL were gone, I just fed him in the living room, but out of respect for his feelings and wishes and FIL and MIL, I'd continue going in the other room when they were all there. He understood. I might've forgotten to mention SIL's DH was there ... hahahaha.

There is something wrong with the electrical in their bathroom -- gave FIL the baby for a minute and tried to go in there and the light wouldn't go on, changed the bulb, still wouldn't go on, so SIL took in a lamp and that worked. But the other bulb in the fixture in there is broken ... bah. Maybe it's related to when BIL nearly burned down the house with a kitchen fire ... ahem.

At any rate. SIL's DH got lost going to the sushi place to pick up dinner, and the road it's on is a PITA to turn around on, so he took for-freaking-ever. When he got back, bambino was making such a fuss but refusing to nurse, so I just asked them to please pack up mine and hubby's and I'd have to leave. He apologized profusely for taking so long. BIL showed up and I asked him to hop online and tell hubby I'd be home soon (they chat on Skype while they game together), the sisters packed up the food, and I packed up the baby, and we left. Bambino calmed down almost as soon as he got in the car seat -- I think he knows he gets to go home if he gets in that thing. lol. He woke up as soon as we got home though and said hi to daddy before daddy went to work. he sure loves his daddy -- all smiles and happies to see him.

Sakura is the name of the sushi place. We liked it just fine, but we were both still hungry after finishing our rolls (the late hour might have had something to do with that), but it was yummy. I think we liked Happy Sumo more ... but Sakura was less expensive although still not cheap. *sigh* I never liked sushi before I hooked up with hubby. And now I wish we could afford it more often. lol.

Anyway. This was a huge mess of rambling. It was fun but I'm tired and I'm supposed to be working but can't focus for more than 30 seconds. ack. byeeeeeeeeeeeeee