Saturday, March 31, 2007

Friday Fave Five!!! (wait ... it's saturday ... my bad)

Okay. We've had a really rough week. Hubby is doing a lot better now than he was earlier in the week. Thank heaven.

So ... my Friday Fave Five this week ... things that helped me cope and feel better through hubby's crash and other problems this week. He's still my fave, I still love him, all that stuff. We're good.

1. My credit union. They're helping refi the house, then we'll sell it. That'll give us time to get it cleaned up and paint the garage door and touch up the paint throughout the house. Then we have two months of no mortgage payments, so hopefully we can sell it in that time.

2. My doctor. He isn't just taking the first answer (UTI) to be the cause of all my illness/trouble. He is sending me for an ultrasound of my abdomen and pelvis next week and took a whole bunch of blood yesterday. Which is okay I guess. I'm not pregnant, just nauseated constantly, which is being made worse by the antibiotics. Fun times. Hopefully this, too, passes and nothing else is wrong with me and hopefully nothing else is going on that will prevent me from getting pregnant soon.

3. Friends like CC and Kip. Playing last night (Friday) helped out a ton.

4. Kidlet. She's been so great and taking such good care of mommy. I had a massage Wednesday which hurt me for two days -- couldn't even drive. i'm doing better now and the muscles loosened up a TON, but when I was hurting so bad, she just patted me on the shoulders and snuggled up with me where she wouldn't hurt me and took care of me. Such a great kid.

5. My boss being understanding about me being sick. Although I'm not sure she's going to continue to let me slack, so hopefully we can sell the house in early May so I can move to part time. Oy.

So ... yeah. kip loves castles, so cc and i picked her up last night, got a bite at Carl's, and drove up to Cedar Hills to show her the castle house. It's still there, just like I remembered. cc says that's a popular thing to do now (castle elements in houses), but i just remember mocking the family who built it. poor family. and we drove by what used to be a nauseatingly pink house ... that family also got mocked and they had a hard time selling the house until they found someone who was willing to re-stucco the thing and re-do all the landscaping.

now i'm plotting munchkin's birthday party, possibly considering a trip to Farmland at Thanksgiving Point with animals and stuff ... or just doing the pool thing again. we shall see.

Thursday night, I sang a solo in a production of Women at the Well at church. It was fun. I like singing, but I usually insist on singing in a group -- this time, things were just so crazy, I didn't have time to get to the choir practices, so the sister in charge of all of the music brought me a solo. After the thing was over Thursday, she told me I need my own CD. mwahahahaha. Anyway, turns out the sisters in the choir blended really well and didn't really need me. I have this voice ... it just sort of is THERE. It is BIG, and I wouldn't have been able to blend as well with them. So it turned out for the better that I didn't do the choir. lol.

well. now i'm nauseated more and having cramps. woo. i'm gonna go cuddle munchkin, who went to a sleepover last night but didn't sleep over (she's not allowed to sleep over). The mom of her friend said she understood and was just glad i'd let her go over at all. lol.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

He used to be a box.

Yep. That's my typo of the day. BoxER. gah.

it's been one of those days. pardon me while i go cry myself to sleep. alone.

hubby gave me a blessing in the morning -- very much needed. by afternoon we weren't talking. *sigh* i love the guy, but the bipolar thing sucks really mucho at times. grrrr.

so does my chest being so painful i couldn't drive myself anywhere. but y'know ... that's 'cuz I had another massage yesterday and she worked REALLY REALLY deep through my whole ribcage -- it's feeling better now, but man ... that in and of itself has made me be really emotional and "touchy" about anyone touching me.

actually, the whole day wasn't a waste. did have lunch with hubby, which was nice. spent a bit of time with kiddo. she came into the bathroom and "helped" me get ready for enrichment tonight, where i sang a solo. about 5 min. before i sang, i had a feeling i needed to call and check on her (hubby was sound asleep). she answered the phone and i said, "don't open the door." and she said, "well, i'm out on the balcony, is that okay?" ack. it's snowing and she's in her PJs. "sure, just don't open the front door or talk to anyone." "Okay. when will you be home?" "around 8:15." "Okay. Bye bye love you bye." (her standard sign off on the phone since she was tiny). I repeated it back, hung up, walked back in the chapel, and very calmly sat in my seat again. the song did go well. much compliments and stuff there (including a "you need your own CD" funny).

i'm calling the doctor in the morning though. i've been nauseated for months and am not (as far as i know) pregnant. and this morning i had a sharp pain shoot through the left side of my pelvis -- so bad I hit the floor. yeah. not normal. i'm sure i'll be fine though. *rolling eyes*

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

hahaha ... weird dreams abound.

So, I just remembered this and had to post it.

I dreamt that Munchkin's school was doing a spelling bee before school and all the kids had to get there around 6 a.m., and saw a bunch of our neighbor kids 'cuz I was there with Munchkin. I dreamt that Hillary Clinton came for whatever reason -- I think she was campaigning here, but when has a presidential candidate ever come to Utah? Democrats know they have no chance, and Republicans know they're shoe-ins, so ... they don't.

Anyway. After the spelling bee, I was leaving and saw that Senator Clinton's car died. She demanded that I take her and her security detail to the airport. Yeah. I told her thanks, but no, since I needed to be home when my kidlet got home from school. She told me to find someone to pick her up. So I tried but failed, and told her she'd have to wait with me, and then I could take them to the airport. For some reason, she agreed.

When kidlet got home (which was in the same place we live now but was scary and was a dump -- I don't know why, since the rest of the neighborhood looked normal!), I did take her to a neighbor's house, and then we left. Only, we'd missed Senator Clinton's flight, so she then demanded I drive them all to California. For some reason, I agreed, called hubby and told him I'd be home in a few days, and left.

Senator Clinton wasn't very nice and she was stressing me out majorly. So, the security detail "slipped her a Mickey" and she passed out all the way to California, and the security detail and I decided to hit an amusement park. We put her in the front of the biggest roller coaster I'd ever seen and she came to as it was going up. She said, "Bob, who's driving?" and we all yelled back, "YOU are, and we're going over a mountain!" and started screaming. She started freaking out. It was teh awesome.

The end.

My subconscious is apparently sadistic. But now this dream is preserved forevermore as a warning to Senator Clinton that she needs to be nicer. And get a new security detail.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Smart@$$ Answers

From our forum at work.



It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.


A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."


A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead. "


The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his Window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.


A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

***This one is for all the teachers out there.**


A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Happy Monday!!!

I'm off today. I'm going to clean the house and get my hair cut. I know, the cleaning house part doesn't sound like much fun, but it really has to get done so we can sell the house.

Oh. I also have to go to the bank. *sigh*

Anyway. My folks are in town. Kidlet and I had a good visit with them last night with my sister and her family. Hubby was ... staying by the toilet ... as he told my sister when she called after we left. He thought it was me. hahahaha.

Our ward was split last night -- probably ought to call someone and find out what ward we're in now and when we meet and stuff ... I dunno, I figured it was pretty important to go spend time with my folks and sister and everyone. *sigh*

Y'know, I didn't think I'd still be telling Munchkin "we don't eat paper." She's almost 8.

Aight. I'd better get off the computer and on to the "stuff" to do today: Clean, pay a bill, and get rid of STUFF (including 3-4 inches of HAIR).

Friday, March 23, 2007

Friday FUN!!!

we just had fun -- the carbon monoxide monitor went off. repeatedly. after resetting it. so i called the fire department and since i've been sick, they sent EMS, too. wooooooo.

we're fine. stable vitals. no leaks, no problems in the whole house. but i gotta go get a new smoke detector and a new co monitor, since the builder put it on the CEILING downstairs. the fire dept guys weren't happy with that.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007


My sweet stepdaughter just called ... the HOUSE number. For the first time, like, ever. Yes, they are getting it. Too bad she called after everybody else was asleep, but time zones are hard for kids to get.

So ... I've been sick for a while. Upset stomach, serious nausea, diarrhea the last couple days. Hubby seems to be getting it too. Since we stopped killing the elders (man, that still cracks me up kip), I figure one way or another I have to go see a doctor in a couple weeks anyway: If we're pregnant, I'll go to the midwife, who might send me to the primary care doc since I've been sick. If we're not, I'll go to the 14-year-old-looking primary care doc. Either way, I will get there. ack.

In other news ... wait. No, I think that's all the news. Really behind at work; my trick with the 90-minute intervals isn't working right now (being sick and all). So ... need to just keep plugging away for the rest of the week. grrr.

Monday, March 19, 2007


My boss approved my schedule change to Tues through Sat. Yeah, it'll be different and hard, but it'll also be AWESOME. No more sundays or working every day hubby is off or kidlet it home from school. Okay, so that last one is still going to happen all summer, but we're hoping to have sold the condo and be moved by June so it won't be as much of an issue if I don't get 45 hours in. SWEET!!!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

The Best Wedding Presents

I've been thinking about my bridal shower (thanks you guys) the last week or so. Let it be noted: We are no longer killing the Elders. If you don't get it, don't worry about it.

So, I started thinking about what makes good wedding presents and what we have enjoyed the most from our wedding and what other people might wanna know. I mean, besides the reception, the dress mom made for me, the suit, the announcements, the pictures, the bridal showers, the luncheon ... those were all very-much-appreciated gifts ... VERY much so. But the ones we actually got at the reception or the luncheon or whatever. So, in no particular order:

*Lingerie and pink towels. 'nuff said.
*CASH. Since I was so close to my surgery and everything and not working a full load yet and we both kept getting sick, this came in quite handy over the next few months to help pay for the honeymoon, paid some bills, and bought things we needed. Like chocolate sauce and cinnamon-flavored massage oil.
*Gift cards. Again, we bought things we needed: More pink towels, good bath towels, vacuum, DVD/VCR combo, spermicide, polyurethane condoms, kitchen towels.
*Pictures of us. A few families took our engagement photo and made things out of them: One blew it up to an 8 x 10, another put it in a matted frame with a lovely saying about families, and another one made a MAGNET out of it, which is on our fridge with the rest of the peanut gallery (nieces, nephews, grandpa, etc)
*Kitchen gadgets, all of which we'd registered for: George Foreman grill (love it!!), waffle maker, electric can opener, and a giant crock pot. We use all of them very frequently.
*A cookbook. LOVE cookbooks.
*Giant casserole dishes. When we take food to the in-laws, we use these.
*New glasses for the kitchen.
*Beautiful things around our home: Silver picture frames, a gorgeous crystal vase (which currently has a dozen roses in it, courtesy of sweetie), candles, etc.

So, yeah. This actually started off to be the Friday Fave Five this week, but I just kept coming up with all these amazing gifts we love -- and are grateful for. So, the list gets its own day instead. Happy Monday!

What's New?

Selling the condo, changing my work schedule, having a baby, and eventually cutting back to part time.

1. Selling the condo. Yep. For serious. If you know anyone in the market for a 3-bed 2-bath 1 car garage condo, the list price is $189,900. That's 5 to 10K below what other people with this floor plan are listing -- yep, we're serious about moving. We'll be moving to an apartment for a while.

2. Changing my work schedule. Working Sundays sucks. Today will be my last one, barring my boss saying "tuff". I will be changing to a Tue-Sat schedule ASAP (like, next week).

3. Having a baby. No, I'm not pregnant. Yet. But we want one and know I'll be sick and can't work full time while I'm doing so, which is why we're doing #1. Why should we both work 45-50 or more hours a week, never see each other or the kidlet, and be totally stressed out all the time? We shouldn't. Sell the condo, pay off debt, sock the rest of the cash into investments/savings, and reduce both of our work loads, while also allowing hubby to get back into school.

4. Cutting back to part time. This would be me -- either during pregnancy or after maternity leave. Hubby is going to change his work schedule in July so he's working fewer hours, too, but making more money -- that whole school/baby thing.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

St Paddy's Day!

Yeah, um, I have to work today. BUT, here's what I'm doing anyway for breakfast to torment the masses (my family): GREEN french toast, GREEN milk, and GREEN orange juice. I made GREEN pancakes last year, but they take longer than french toast.

That's as "fun" as I'm getting. We're still doing other stuff, but a 9-hour shift tends to suck the life out of me.

For lunch, we may eat out today -- at Costco. We have to finish the two-week shopping. okay, so it's not a full two weeks. i'll have to go for more produce next weekend, but we are pretty stocked on a whole bunch of stuff. Or maybe we'll come home and have Hot Pockets.

For dinner, it is brisket with cabbage and braised root veggies. Munchkin and I watched food network a couple of nights this week and she asked to try a rutabaga like Rachael Ray used in an Irish dinner with potatoes, carrots, and onions, and I thought, what the heck? Kid is gonna ask for a veggie? I'm darn well gonna let her try it. I've never had one, but bought it and chopped it up and it's ready for the pot.

We'll probably rent a video or two as well. Woooo.

Food network. Watched someone make chicken satay a few nights ago, so I made it last night, with brown rice and zucchini. It was really good, and surprisingly, we all got full really fast. I think between the combination of the whole grain and the amount of flavor in the dishes, it just filled us up quickly. I'd marinated the zucchini in an olive oil, lemon/lime juice, garlic, and pepper marinade, then grilled it. And the satay was also grilled, with a sesame oil, ginger, brown sugar, and pepper marinade, then served with individual bowls of a peanut dipping sauce (which could've used more hot sauce in it, but I digress), which we dipped the chicken in and poured over the rice (hubby has to have some sauce for his rice, can't eat it plain). He also dipped his zucchini in it. Kiddo skipped the peanut sauce but ate the chicken without argument. She didn't dig the zucchini, but that's okay; the lemon was pretty strong. Good, but strong. It was nice to actually make something EVERYONE liked. And the cleanup wasn't that bad -- LOVE my George Foreman grill.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Friday Fave Five!!!

Five favorite relationship quotes this week! Some funny, some awwww (gack), but all quite true.

1. We are all a little weird and life is a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. -- Author unknown

2. We are all just looking for our own weirdo. -- Kevin and Janae

3. Couples getting together proves there is a God today who works miracles because we are all so retarded, it's a wonder any of us hook up and make it work. -- CC

4. There is nothing more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. -- Homer, Odyssey

5. The moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.

That being said, marriage is HARD. But I still love my honey.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I am old.

I chose not to go to sleep on time last night. And then around 4 a.m., Munchkin woke up with a bad dream. I was supposed to be getting up, but decided to sleep in for an hour and cuddle her.

Now it is 6:30 and I'm just *now* getting up.

I am behind at work, like majorly, for my own personal goals for the week. I will be working major hours today to try and catch up. I really don't wanna work tomorrow, my day off this week, but may end up doing so a bit anyway.


Tuesday, March 13, 2007

a survey! thanks kip!

I was going through withdrawals ... *snort*



Were you a planned baby?
I *think* so.

Were you the first?

What is your birth date?
April 24th sometime ago ...


Parents married or divorced?

An only child?
Nope. Three brothers, two sisters.

If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?
I'm fifth of six, the last girl.

Which parent do you get along with best?
My Mom, definitely. (Amen!)


Do you have more than one best friend?

What do you like to do when you are together?
Even just hanging out when you are with friends is fun! -- Ditto!

Which friend can you tell everything to?
My HUBBY, CC, my Mom, H in NY, and Graceful. and more to kip than I usually tell anyone ...


Do you have low self-esteem?
At times... Not today though.

Do you get depressed about things easily?
At times... Not today though.

Are you happy right now?

Do you live life to the fullest?
At times... :)

Are you comfortable with the way you look?
um ... sometimes? Like, I'm definitely not happy with how big I've gotten, but I know I'm still beautiful (hubby tells me so), and there are days I'm happy with how I look in certain clothes with certain makeup ... so ... yeah.

Describe your hair?
Today it is black, and longish, just past my shoulder.

How do you dress?
comfortable and casual, but I also tend to flaunt my cleavage.


Were you a strange child?

Do you have the same friends from childhood?
Very few... we move a lot. -- Ditto!


Are you scared of growing up old and alone?
No -- I have a great husband.

Do you want to get married?
Well ... I did that last year ... so ...

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?
Depends on the weather! -- Ditto!

Do you like walking in the rain?
YES!!!! Unless it's a downpour.


Are you a vegetarian?

Favorite food?
Yes. I like food. Esp. Italian and Mexican.

What food makes you want to gag?
Shrimp with legs. Fish with eyes. EEW. Like I told hubby, I want it to bear no resemblance to the creature it came from if I'm going to prepare or eat it. He laughed -- his mom only buys whole fish and he grew up cleaning and gutting everything ... one of the bennies of marrying an Islander I guess: I will *never* have to clean a fish.

What is your favorite dessert?
SUGAR!!! Um ... the volcano/chocolate lava cake at Chili's with ice cream ... lurve that. Have a recipe for it; might actually try making it sometime.

PART 10: RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE *warning: gushing ahead*

Are you single or taken?
Very MUCH taken.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Not exactly. Hubby knew he'd marry me the night we met, and I just thought he was a sweet guy who was nice and funny with a nice butt, and wouldn't mind going out with him again ... so ... ahem.

Have you ever been in love?

Have they ever loved you?
:) I'm married to a guy who thinks the world of me. I do believe he loves me.

Ahhhhhh ...

Man, I love getting massages. Even though they hurt. My chest muscles are full of knots, which I knew. Haven't had a massage for a while and hubby can't quite get as deep as my massage therapist can (he doesn't have as much training, for one, and for another he doesn't like to hurt me -- she doesn't mind since she knows i'll feel better later). So ... I feel good. (a song! dananananana ... i knew that I would now ... I feeel nice .... like sugar and spi-ice ... So good! I got you! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooooooooow!)

Monday, March 12, 2007


What guy, sick, feverish, sweating, nearly passing out, stops at the store on his way home from work, after being SENT home by his boss, to buy his wife roses???


Went down to the car to take Kidlet to school, and there's a dozen red roses sitting on the seat, just waiting for me.

He's all mine. *sigh* Completely made my day.

Mr and Mrs Germy

Passing germs around and back and forth and making each other sick ... that's been going on allllllll winter between me and hubby. well.

Lately, hubby's company won't let any employee come home mid-shift even if they are really sick. They've been firing people left and right and he's on a warning 'cuz he was really sick in November and missed too many days, and he can't call in sick because of that. He's pretty sick but had to go in anyway.

i just had the daylights scared out of me.

The garage door opening at 6:30 a.m. is NOT normal, so I figure he's been fired. crap.

Nope. They found him a relief and sent him home. Apparently, they've had over 350 employees complain to HR about their bosses, and one of the bosses was fired Saturday because of it, so the bosses are now being human again. Yay.

Now, if only I can avoid being Mrs Germy and catching Mr Germy's bug again, I'll be pretty darn happy. and the Little Germy needs to quit bringing this stuff home from school. *sigh*

Sunday, March 11, 2007

"Mommy, I'm a dalmatian!"

Okay. My kid just cracks me up. I know I'm biased, but still. She's pretty darn funny. Before I had my nap Saturday she asked permission to make "something". I said sure, just don't make a mess. (ha!).

After my nap and after I'd gotten back to work, she came up to my office door wearing a dalmatian costume she'd made with white paper, black marker, tape, and a plastic grocery bag.

I just started giggling and so did she. She's so goofy.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Taco nite, cute kid, and fairy wings

So, went to Taco Night at CC's last night. It was fun, got out of the house for a few hours sans hubby and munchkin. Love them, sometimes need a break. when you work from home and all your interactions with the outside world are via email or just to church, sometimes you need a break. So, I was feeling better last night before I left anyway, and hubby and I got to talk for a few minutes before kidlet got home, so things were good. Kip showed up and we drove up to SLC to pick up Stef and then on up to Ogden-ish (i don't even know where we were -- beyond Kaysville and Fruit Heights -- Hi Cherry Hill!!!) to CC's for tacos, virgin margaritas, horchata, and brownies. Took a slight detour, but that's okay -- we needed gas and money, and found a bank and a gas station that wasn't ripping everyone off. so ... we made it to our destination with plenty of time to help CC and cupcake finish getting everything ready.

(and cupcake's boy then showed up -- he's quite cute and very charming and sweet. go cupcake!)

lots of laughing, funny jokes, people getting along without anybody killing anyone else. CC did great and I picked up my print of "Goodbye blue sky". Yay! I chose the black finish.

So Munchkin woke up about 20 minutes after I got in bed. She needed a hug, which I caved and gave her and sent her back to bed. Hubby mumbled something about needing to get up at 2:45 for work, so I set the alarm. when it went off, he was actually upset because he didn't need to get up until 4. I'd've been upset, too. Sheesh. Poor guy. He fell back asleep but didn't rest well and I couldn't sleep well either until he was up and out the door. Darn it.

When I actually did get up, Munchkin asked if she could dress up. I said sure. She was watching Barbie Fairytopia or something. So she put on her dance costume from last year and started running around the house. A few minutes later, she came by the office door with straws sticking out of her body. I just looked at her and said, "What???" "They're wings!!!" "Wings" made out of bendy straws she'd created apparently while I was asleep this morning. She's so cute.

And I realized last night as I told this story to kip and stef that I hadn't shared it with anyone else. One day, she comes in to my office and says, "Mom, I know I can't have a real dog, but what about a robot dog. Can we get one of those?" Knowing how expensive they are, I said, "we'll see." Well, she thought about it for a second and said, "Can I make a robot dog? With my radio and wheels and stuff?" and I thought, what the heck. "Go write down everything you think you need and draw pictures on how you're going to do it." So she did. Then she asked if she could take her radio and make the robot. Realizing it's an expensive boom box and that I really didn't want it destroyed, I said, "What if you just make the radio look like a dog?" She thought that was *awesome* and made eyes, ears, nose, and a tongue out of paper, GLUED them to the radio, and used the cord for its tail. She then started dragging the radio around, gave it a name, started petting it and cuddling it. Realizing what she's up to, I told hubby, "she's doing this to prove she'd be a good dog owner." lolol. Dogs are not inside pets to us now, so ... no dog. but she can have the radio. I'll have to post pictures sometime.

Friday, March 9, 2007

How true it is ... ack.

From the forum at work today:


Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing? As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants.

Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period." Are you f**king kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness-is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and KahlĂșa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bulls**t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Thursday, March 8, 2007


What a crappy week.

This is the new blog and I'm not going to really talk about the bad week or the reason for the move. Instead, here are this week's Fave Five, a night early: MY PEOPLE. (and yes, there are SIX)

1. My husband.

2. My sister Graceful.

3. CC.

4. Munchkin.

5. My mom.

6. The Savior.

The Savior is not really the last one in importance. I just ... Man, I'm grateful for the Atonement.

My husband is such a sweet man. I need to remember that and realize I'm not perfect either. And he loves me even on bad weeks, so I guess we're okay.

Graceful helps me chill out a lot -- we're great friends. Glad she's my sis.

CC is an amazingly talented artist and a wonderful friend. So excited to see her Friday night!

Munchkin is my on-line name for my kiddo. She's 7-1/2. She makes me giggle. This was our conversation the other afternoon.
"Mom, can I shut your office door?"
"No." *crestfallen look* "Well, if you shut it you'll get into mischief." *giggle* "Y'know, that's actually what's on your birth certificate. Mischief Munchkin."
"LIAR LIAR!" as she runs squealing and giggling away.

My mom ... she's the best! I know life is rough all around for a lot of her kids right now, but she took the time to talk with me today while she was at work and I was a mess ... and she stayed with me for a month after my heart surgery just to make sure I was okay -- *and* tried to keep my dad out of my hair (love him, but he drives me batty in enclosed spaces). What's better than that?

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

It's 4:30 a.m. Hubby's not working today but I am and I didn't have a very good work day yesterday, so here I sit in my cold office staring at the computer when I'd rather be snuggled up to my warm hubby and still sleeping ... *sigh*

Now I know how he feels every single day when he gets up at 2:30 or 3:00 a.m. to go to work and I roll over, tell him I love him, and fall back asleep.

Monday, March 5, 2007

I've been up for 12-1/2 hours. It's not quite 5 p.m. yet.

But, it was a good work day -- managed to work 10 hours, got about 12 hours of work done (that's 12 hours of my average lately). MUCH better than last week. Should I be able to maintain the pace the rest of the week, not only will I get to go play Friday night and have tacos, I will also have a full weekend off -- and make up for my crappy last week so my paycheck won't totally ralph.

Kidlet was even home from school all day -- and she let me work. We also had breakfast and lunch and changed the dishwasher and went for a walk AND I had a shower! Amazing what a little motivation will do for you.

Yeah. Gonna go make dinner, cuddle kidlet and hubby for a bit, and then pass out probably since I also got my monthly visitor this morning and am starting to have cramps ... woooo.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

My horoscope today: There is simply no substitute for cold, hard cash. Don't buy what you can't afford.

Now, I realize this is common sense to a lot of people and that horoscopes are pretty silly, but this "pay cash" thing is something I had to learn and am still learning. My parents didn't teach us this so much -- they're great parents, but we didn't have many financial lessons in this arena when we were growing up. When I was 18, I got my first credit card. By the time I was 23, I was over $5000 in debt, and going through a divorce with a newborn baby. I moved home, debt consolidated, and over the years the debt got paid off.

Now at the ripe old age of 30 (almost 31), I am a homeowner, but have a big car payment and about double the consumer debt I had then -- except, half is medical and half is school. Anything we want, we save for and pay cash for, and if we can't save for it, we don't have it. We've started telling the child "no" to dollar toys and junk because first, it takes away from the financial goals, and second, IT IS CLUTTER.

I recently read a book (found it at the library, but they do sell it on Overstock) called Miserly Moms -- how to survive on one income in a two-income world. I found it full of valuable advice, although some I won't use (like re-using food storage bags; not my thing). I liked it much better and found it more helpful than her other book, Frugal Families, which was mostly about traveling cheaply and other big-ticket item purchases and stuff. I also talked with my sister-in-law, who is one of the most frugal people I know. They had a rough December -- their van, washer, and washing machine all died. The awesome thing? They had enough money in their emergency fund to buy a new van, a new washer, a new washing machine, there was still money left in the emergency fund, and they still had Christmas (a 4-wheeler for the whole family -- which was paid for in cash -- not out of the emergency fund).

The irony here is that this brother of mine makes less money per year than all of us siblings (or in the two-income homes, than the sibling and spouse put together, although I'm not sure if this is the case anymore with our brother in Japan ... ). But they have NO debt -- including no student loans. They have been frugal and have saved and saved and saved, and his wife doesn't work outside the home. And they don't have the stress the rest of us do, because most of the rest of us have debt. Except the brother in Japan. They didn't have any last time I talked with them about this, too.

The good part is that all of us siblings are waking up and working on our debt problems.

As I sat there and discussed the book and our financial situation with my sweet husband, who has *never* had debt before, we agreed to a budget and a plan, and realized we could do better with the grocery bill and eating out. In January alone we spent over $100 on eating out -- and not anywhere fancy. That could have either gone into the emergency funds OR helped pay off one of the medical credit cards. We decided we could still eat out together once a month, but if we want to do anything else, we have to specifically earmark money for it and not go overboard.

We got engaged 9 months ago. Since then, we have bought a used car and paid for it in cash, and we've paid off about $2000 in debt -- and we never missed a payment on anything while I wasn't working or working full time. Those are good things. But, now that I'm back to work mostly full time and at about the production I was at before the surgery, and hubby is working full time again (he took some time here and there before the wedding to help me out), we decided we could do better. Cutting back on the grocery bill is one step; putting aside money deliberately before we spend any is another (it may not seem like much each time we put money aside, but in about 6 weeks, we have saved over $500 in various ways). As soon as we can get out of the loan, we are going to get rid of the Cruiser (*sniff*) but first we have to pay down the amount we owe on it since we owe more than we could sell it for ... BUT, we're paying off the 0% interest credit cards first (the 0% interest expires on both of them this summer; they were used to put medical bills on them from folks who wouldn't take payments).

I guess the moral here is that debt happens -- I certainly wasn't prepared to have major surgery last year, but had saved enough to pay a month's worth of bills, which we did use up while I wasn't working. I could have done better and saved enough to pay off the medical bills, but didn't know ahead of time what was going to happen, so spent it all instead. So, be frugal and save money. When and if debt does happen, pay it off as quickly as possible. Don't get a car loan if you can help it -- save for the car instead. Read books and talk to people you know who are successful at being frugal and thrifty, and do *your* best to be as frugal as *you* can be, taking what advice you can and will apply, letting go of the rest.

We may never be as thrifty as some people, but we can do better. And we can teach our kids to do things differently.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Friday Fave Five!!!

Theme: Movies/DVDs we've watched (in theater OR rented, bought, or borrowed) in the last 6 months. We don't get out to theaters as much anymore, but I did think of a couple we liked. So, here we go.

1. Cinderella Man.

2. Stepford Wives. We actually watched this on our honeymoon -- I resolved to be less of a Man Eating Corporate Chick so he never turns me into a robot. He laughed.

3. Zoom! Just rented this last weekend.

4. Casino Royale. I dunno -- I don't watch all the Bond flicks, but I did rather enjoy this one.

5. Arthur and the Invisibles. We saw it for family night in January. The way they transition between live action and the animation is awesome. And David Bowie plays the best bad guys.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Book Tag!

The rules of the game:

1. Find the nearest book to you.
2. Name the book and author.
3. Turn to page 123.
4. Go to the fifth sentence on the page.
5. Copy out the next 3 sentences and post to your blog.
6. Tag three other people.


Okay ... here's the thing. I'm at my desk and the book closest to me is Stedman's Medical & Surgical Equipment Words. It's not a "novel" and there are no sentences in it. It is well over 1000 pages. The other nearest books are 14 more specialty word books and dictionaries, all extremely dry work-related stuff.

So, I give you:

cannula (three of them, following the above instructions)

Hasson stable access c.
Haverfield brain c.
Havlicek spiral c.

Whaddya know? I've never used any of those words at work.

Ahem. Let's be a little less boring, shall we?

I just finished reading Size 12 Is Not Fat by Meg Cabot. Yes, she wrote The Princess Diaries, but Disney's movies bear little resemblance to her books. Anyway. Sentences from page 123 (I'm not including the lyrics to an inane song as any of the sentences).

Maybe Patty's right, and the kids in the dorm--residence hall, I mean--are taking up the space in my heart where love for my own kids would be if, you know, I had any. Because I can't stop worrying about them.

Not that there can be that many more virgins left in the building--which I happen to be in a position to know. Ever since I swapped the Hershey's Kisses in the candy jar on my desk for individually wrapped Trojans, I've had kids stumbling down to my office at nine in the morning in their PJs--and if you don't think nine in the morning is early by college standards, you've never been in college--unapologetically plucking them from the jar.

(Fragments don't count, so I added another "sentence"). Tada!

I rather enjoyed the book, so if you don't mind some swearing, some murders, some sex, some colorful characters, and some discussions about condoms as above, you should get it from your local library and read it. Really. Man I love libraries -- FREE BOOKS!!!

Oh ... yeah ... tagging. No, I refuse to follow that rule, too. Tagging eventually fizzles out. But *if* you want to do this fun little project, do it! It's good free fun!!!