interesting

1. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as? If I had the body, Trinity or Sidney Bristow.

2. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? Charcoal. Pickles, ketchup, mustard, mayo, lettuce. Bun is negotiable, but prefer a deli-style roll.

3. You are chosen to have lunch with the President. The condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask? Which president are we talking about? President Bush? President Lincoln? President Clinton? President Hinckley??? President of the company for which I currently work?

4. It's your first day of vacation, what are you doing? Depends on where we are and how long the vaca is and who is with me.

5. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies? We usually have dinner right before going. If not, a coke and popcorn with "butter".

6. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email? Neither. Popup blockers and spam filters on google fix all of that. People who pass on urban email legends bug the hell out of me though -- look it up on snopes and don't bug me with the idiocy.

7. What do you think Captain Hook's name was before he had a hook for a hand? Captain Barbosa.

8. Rock, paper, or scissors? Duh, if I tell you, I will never win another game.

9. How long was it from 'the first date' until the proposal of marriage? How long until the marriage? 15 days to proposal ... didn't I just say that? We got married about 9 days shy of 5 months from the first date.

10. Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet? Too loud.

11. What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person? The ability to recognize neither of us is always right.

12. At the good old general store, what particular kind of candy would you expect to be in the big jar at the counter? sugar sticks (peppermint most likely) or licorice or lemon drops.

13. What is the most distinguishing landmark in your city? The Purple Turtle.

14. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Sadly, computers put me to sleep.

15. Where are your favorite places to shop? Depends on what I'm shopping for.

16. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose? Reese cups.

17. What food item would need to be removed from the market altogether in order for you to live a healthier, longer life? Pepsi

18. You are offered an envelope that you know contains $50. You are then told that you may either keep it or exchange it for another envelope that may contain $500 or may be empty. Do you keep the first envelope, or do you take your chances with the second? Take the chances. I didn't have the $50 to begin with, so it's not like I'm giving them $50 of my own money.

19. If you had to choose, which would you give up: cable TV, or DSL/cable internet? TV. I can find the things I watch on the internet.

20. What is your highest level of education? two years of college.

21. What is your pets name? Don't have one.

22. What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid? Didn't have one.


23. What would you rather have, a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, or a chauffeur? Housekeeper. I hate cleaning. This isn't even ALL the clean laundry I have yet to put away. There are two more loads you can't see in this picture, plus another one in the washer and one more dirty load on the floor elsewhere, waiting its turn to go in.

24. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? Traffic. I get claustrophobic.

25. Lets say a brick fell on your foot, and your kid is standing right next to you, what is your 'cleaned up' swear word? Ow. I have a pretty good filter when the "ooooooo, you said a bad word" monkey is standing next to me.

relationship? survey

(I think this is more theoretical and for singles, but whatever, so since I'm married, I'm altering some of the questions to make sense with my Taken state)

1) Single, Taken, or Flirty?
Taken. Woooooo!

2) Are you happy with where you are?
Mostly.

3) When you met the right person, did you fall fast?
I did but was in denial for a long time.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yep.

5) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
Um ... It would probably depend on the circumstances. I know, there's no excuse for cheating, but there's also no excuse for a lot of things and we still love the person and sometimes the relationship is stronger on the other side than before the drama.

6) Did you talk about marriage with your husband before he proposed?
Oddly, yes. We were talking about marriage on our third date (I wasn't talking marriage to HIM, just in general) and he proposed a few days later, 15 days after we met.

7) Do you want children?
Yep.

8) How many?
About 4 or so. maybe more -- Ditto, but we already have two. Yay!

9) Would you consider adoption?
Yep

10) If someone liked you right now how would you want them to tell you?
Unless it's my husband (who likes me very much right now), I wouldn't want them to say anything. BUT, when we were dating, I did want him to just be straight with me. He was very forthright and told me he really liked me on our second date and wanted to see where it would lead.

11) Do you want someone you cant have?
No -- I can have my husband pretty much whenever I want. :P

12) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Not sure on that one. Hubby knew the minute he met me that we'd get married. It took me a lot longer. Heck, all of our parents and friends and family knew before I did. I liked him though and saw that he has a nice backside ...

13) Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
yes!

14) Do you believe that you can change for someone?
Change in ways that will be healthy, yes.. but never change who you are.... -- exactly

15) If you could have gotten married anywhere, money's not an object where would you?
I would have done the same exact thing I did -- temple wedding, lunch at the clubhouse, and catered reception at the inn where we spent our wedding night.

16) Have you ever wished you could have someone but you couldn't?
Probably, like in junior high ...

17) Have you ever broken a heart before?
Yes

18) Would you ever fight somebody over your boyfriend/girlfriend?
physically? no.... I've had to fight demons though and that's harder. -- YES MA'AM

19) What would you say about your ex?
He's an ass.

Memorial Day

Well. It's really early Monday morning.

After driving and driving and driving all day Saturday (to Provo, Ogden, home, Provo, Springville, Provo, and home -- seriously, 7-8 hours), I still had to work when we got home. Then that night started out the poem below, which didn't resolve until Sunday morning (we missed church), and even though we both slept that night, we didn't REST. If that makes sense. So I ended up taking a 3-hour nap yesterday and got good sleep last night, too. But I'm greedy and wanted more sleep ... but ... I'm up.

Anyway. My in-laws wanted us to stay for a bbq Saturday after we did all that stuff (we used their truck to do the stuff), but we were both just beat, so we told them we'd go over there this afternoon. I'm going to take camp chairs so we can sit outside in the shade and chill, and we're going to take some salad something (veggies, doncha know).

But before we do that, we have to see if OfficeMax is open today. We bought a desk there we need to return (we never opened the box) and our 30 days are almost up.

And DisGrace needs a blessing. We're going down there tonight.

I did sleep in 30 minutes today, but I have to work 6 hours so I got up at 4:30. Yay! boss lady gets I can't work 8 hours a day ... makes me too tired to do anything around the house, and Saturdays are one huge fight with Munchkin, who doesn't like me working Saturdays. So, while I'm working 6 days a week now, I'm only working 6-7 hours a day, and only 6 on Saturdays. For some reason, my body and my kiddo are happier with that.

AND, our pool is open, so I was thinking of hitting that after work with kiddo for an hour or so. Busy busy busy, but at least hubby and I are getting along. hehe!

A poem

tossing turning
wanting yearning
want to be together

but all alone

what's come between us?

a need for independence
a need for time together
being smothered
being blown off
a game
a wife
a husband
a life

cause and effect
pain and hurt
torture

silence

fear

mean words
unfriendly faces

eventually taking the time
talking it through
helping each other

being offered a hug
holding each other close
melting the pain away
a make up kiss

so much more

loving being together
much better day than how it started out
loving
being one
affection
joy
contentment

and finally ... sleep

***

that is all.

Toothless! and other cell phone pics

Okay, I'm the first to admit I am computer illiterate. The fact that I work on a computer all day and have a blog and know how to access my email means NOTHING.

Today, I figured out, all on my own (since no one who knew was around to help me) how to email myself pictures from my phone. See, it didn't like putting my email address in the "to" box. So I figured it out. Anyway. Here's some pics of Munchkin ... and me.


She's so excited. She lost both upper teeth within a few weeks of each other just a couple months after undergoing a procedure where her dentist snipped her frenulum, which was very thick and muscular and would have left her with a David Letterman sort of smile. Thankfully, one of them is now growing in, closer to midline than the baby teeth were.


Her dance festival today. Stinkin' looneytic, she's so cute.



This was us just being goofy. I actually liked myself in this one. Who knew?

"Mom, you're so weird."

I mean, it started out innocently enough.

"Mom, can I watch TV?"

That's a fairly innocuous question, right? Not likely to result in a kid telling you you're off the wall.

But the goofiness must have taken over my brain.

"What is this TV of which you speak?"

She had a good answer: "It's like a book that talks."

"So you just listen to it?"

"Well, it has pictures that move, too." She pointed to my computer monitor. "On a screen like that, only not a computer." Grabs my arm. "Come look, Mom!!" I started laughing. She tweaked my nose and said, "Mom, you're so weird."

Yeah. I am. I admitted I was just messing with her and told her to go ahead with the TV thing. lol.

I just can't believe she had serious answers to my goofy questions. The force is strong with that one.

Survey!

1. If your doctor said you were pregnant, what would you do? Well ... I'd hopefully have a baby several months later ...
2. Do you trust all of your friends? To varying degrees. The really close ones that I tell anything and everything to, I trust implicitly.
3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love? If either of us were transferred or decided we hate Utah (which we both do) and found a better job somewhere else (which, mine is at home, so it wouldn't matter much), YES.
4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? I believe that a LOT happens for a reason, and a LOT of what happens to you is based on what you do with your life. -- huh. I happen to agree with that. But also a lot of what life gives us is a result of what other people do, too, and how we choose to respond to our own choices and theirs.
5. Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship. Abuse and criminal activity.
6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor? H in NY
7. When was the last time you snuck out? Seriously?
8. Are you afraid of falling in love? no ... I lurve my hubby veddy much, and fall in love with him all over again regularly. But I WAS afraid of falling in love before I met him.
9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? ... hello, have you met me? Other than my hawt husband, who occupies my thoughts most of the time, people are randomly popping into my head all the time -- usually they need someone to talk to, and if I heed the randomness, things are good. (this week: Jessica. Turns out she needs a sitter for today's OB/GYN appt for an ultrasound. I'm watching Lily-ness! and someone else did yesterday, but she was good when i finally texted her.)
10. Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new person? That's not all that likely to happen unless my love dies, and then it'd be normal to eventually move on, so ... no.
11. When was the last time you flew in a plane? um ... when I moved to Utah 4 years ago? I drove down here from Oregon and then a few months later (june) flew back to finish packing and sent my dad and bro down here with the truck while I flew home with kiddo. I don't think I've flown since, but am flying to Cali in a month to hopefully pick up Small Fry.
12. What did the last text message you sent say? "True." I think.
13. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex? My husband. Okay, okay. I first looked at his eyes and his smile, then his ass. Yep. His thighs are pretty hawt too ... darn it, now I need a cold shower. Seriously, I like the male form, and I love my husband -- LOVING that he's gonna do another body building competition this summer. Triceps, pecs, lats, deltoids, gluteus ... the hardness of his muscles and the planes they create? totally HAWT. Outside of physical appearance, he attracted me because he was really in to me (body and mind), he is good to me and interested in what I have to say, and hey, we can be silly together but also serious.
14. Fill in the blank. I like... stuff. people. food. exercising.
15. What are your goals in life? to be a great mom, teaching my kids to be good people and make good choices and rearing them in the Gospel, to be a fabulous wife, to remember my Savior and behave as He would have me do (guess I should delete that swear word I typed above), and eventually I'd like to do some more schooling.
17. When you get married, how would you envision your dream wedding? Well. I pretty much had it last year: Temple wedding, simple rest of the day with a break in between for a nap.
18. If you could say just one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? This question annoys me, so I'm not answering.
19. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended period of time, name some people you would call? oh geeze ...
20. How many kids do you want to have? 4 ... 5 maybe ... hubby wants 6. I'm 31 and not pregnant, so we'll see how that goes, but at least we started our marriage with two. :P
21. Would you make a good parent? I'm sure trying.
22. Where was your default pic taken? HUH?
23. What is your middle name? Fatoush.
27. Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?? How I should be working and I'm not.
28. Are you musical? Mhm ... need a piano though. Seriously.
29. If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change? Goll. It's the past, let it be.
30. Shoe size: 10 or 11, depending on the day, whether I'm pregnant or not, and who made the shoes.
31. What are you wearing right now? A green T-shirt. And underwear.
32. Righty or lefty: Righty.
33. Can you make a dollar in change right now? Out of my change jar, you bet.
34. Best place to go for a date: Anywhere with my husband, but I really liked our weekend at the hotel.
35. Favorite jeans: Cheap Wally's jeans -- I have two pairs that fit me right now, and I love them.
37. Favorite animal: Cats. Except I don't want ANY pets.
38. Favorite month: April.
39. Favorite juice: Orange.
40. Have you had the chicken pox? Yeah.
41. Have you had a sore throat? Not so much lately.
42. Have you had plastic surgery? No. The docs wouldn't do lipo while they hacked me open last year. I may consider scar revision for my 6-inch graffiti down my chest.
43. Who knows you the best? Hubby, DisGrace, Mom, cc, Texas Jen, H from NY ...
45. Do you get along with your family? Depends on which family members to whom you are referring.
44. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? Glasses; looking at getting LASIK this summer.
46. Ever been in a fight with your pet? ... no, since I don't have any.
47. Been to Mexico? No.
49. Did you buy something today? No, but it's 6:30 a.m. Yesterday, I bought paint for the garage door ...
50. Did you get sick today? I'm still sick to my stomach from the antibiotics for the dentist yesterday.
52. Do you miss someone today? I miss my husband. I miss Small Fry. And oddly enough, I miss the "good morning" text from hubby's ex ... she's either having a bad day or pissed at me for some reason.
53. Did you get in a fight with someone today? It's still only 6:30 a.m.
54. Did you have sex today? not yet ... but it's still only 6:30 a.m.
55. Last person to sleep in your bed? I just rolled out of it, but hubby got to sleep in it longer last night.
56. Last person to see you cry? Hubby or cc ... oooo, or the therapist!!!
57. Who made you cry? Hubby or the therapist. or my boss.
58. What was the last TV show you watched? Alias on DVD
60. What are your plans for the weekend? Dunno ... don't have any. Yet.

meme

I am Stew, Stewbert, Stewie, Tante, "babe," Mommy, Es, and Esther.

I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a lover. I am a mom and a stepmom. I am a sister. I am a daughter. I am a chauffer. I am a good friend.

I am silly. I am a tease. I am a borderline punk.

I am status post open-heart surgery.

I am trying to be like Jesus, too.

I am a musician. I am funny on occasion.

I am a Taurus and a Dragon (and not stubborn one bit). ROAR.

I am dramatic. I am a writer, having sold the story of the time I left my ex. Y'know. drama.

I am impatient.

I sometimes swear, I drink caffeine daily, and I am lazy.

I love babies.

I am trying to be frugal. I am paranoid.

I am a medical transcriptionist. I work from home.

I have cabin fever.

I are tired.

dentist day

That is what today is. Hubby rescheduled his appointment for next week, but kiddo and I both had appointments. I somehow misplaced my antibiotics which I have to take before dental procedures because of my heart, so when I went to take them ... well ... I was late for my appointment. And right this minute, I just want to puke. Dang things make me so nauseated. Grrrrr.

Anyway. That on top of my migraine from yesterday and the stress from hubby's ex playing some mind game with me ... i'm ... exhausted.

But the good news is I still have a job and work is actually going well and I'm doing better in a lot of ways since the break wtih hubby. I could've used another week or two, but that's just not feasible yet. I am taking 10 days off in July to spend with him and the girls while he's on a forced vacation (the plant closes during that time for yearly maintenance), so that'll be good. Hopefully we get to do some fun things with them. *if* we can get both of us making the money we used to make ... gah.

THE WEEKEND

Went away with hubby over the weekend. I did NOT eat that great, but did get some walking in.

FRIDAY:
Had a burrito for breakfast, didn't finish the tortilla but did take the meat out of the bottom part and ate it. I had some "samples" at Costco (which was my walk for Friday) with DisGrace, and then we went to lunch at Arctic Circle, where I had a grilled chix salad and one waffle fry. I don't think I ate again until the sushi restaurant that night, where hubby and I went before we went to Park City for our weekend away. I have never enjoyed sushi, but I *heart* the Happy Sumo's sushi. I had a surf and turf roll, we had the sampler appetizer, and hubby had something spicy which I didn't touch (heartburn, doncha know).

The rest of the weekend ... well ... I didn't eat that great, snacked a lot, but mostly just hung out in the hotel with hubby. We did go for a walk Saturday afternoon up the hill outside of the hotel and back down again, and I bounced around in front of the TV first thing in the morning for about 7 or 8 minutes to one of my CDs, AND we hit the hotel's gym and I checked out the elliptical for a few minutes and the recumbent bike, too. Sunday, we stopped at a state park and walked down the sidewalk a ways, just enjoying the view of the lake and each other.

We burned a few calories in other ways, too. *ahem*

Last night, we had a "tiff," and I wanted to go for a walk, but there were too many people out in the neighborhood and I didn't wanna talk to anyone so I went for a drive instead.

This morning, I got up for work and got very tired (sleeping pills ... gah) so I went back to bed. Hubby made me an egg-white breakfast burrito and brought it to me in bed with a huge glass of orange juice. I woke up pretty well, and then he and I took kiddo to the bus stop and went for a walk -- at his suggestion, for which I'm grateful. He knows how important this is to me and he's doing his best to be helpful and not hurtful in any way. Even if we had a tiff last night. hehehe.

My plan for lunch is a broccoli salad or something we have kicking around in the fridge OR a lean cuisine meal. just something simple. dunno what to do for dinner yet.

Sleeping pills

I haven't been sleeping well lately. Not at all. Probably for weeks. So, hubby got some herbal meds a couple weeks ago that just knocked him out (he says he hates them and isn't going to take them anymore).

I dunno what it was, but we had a fabulous weekend away, even though hubby got really sick, and as soon as we got home, things were just ... back to "normal" again. I was hoping for more togetherness, but not so much.

So last night, I couldn't sleep (we'd had a tiff), so I popped one of his pills and flopped on the floor (he was in the bed). And as I tried to fall asleep, the tiff continued, and then I told him, "I took sleeping pills." I think he thought I took a bunch, so I tried to say, "only one." anyway. my brain was foggy 'cuz I was supposed to be asleep, and details of the ensuing TWO HOURS of "discussions" are not all that clear, but I do remember him asking me to get in bed instead of sleeping on the floor, telling me I was slurring my words, and something came up about me being stoned. Eventually, we did hold hands and make up, and then he passed out, and eventually I did, too.

He did say this morning that if I wanted to try it again another night to just let him know so that he wouldn't keep me awake half the night with an argument. Derf.

I picked a bad morning to give up caffeine, though, since I'm still very tired. Grrrr.

things that don't matter but you need to know anyway

1. Do you still talk to the person you LAST kissed?
My husband? Yes. The one before him? Not so much -- talked to him last the day before Easter 2006 and then sent email when I got engaged, and invited him to the reception, but he didn't come.

2. Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
Yeah

4. What is the last thing you ate?
A wrap -- ww flat bread, lf cheese, turkey, ham, bacon, 1/2 avocado, and lettuce. I only ate 2/3 of it and gave the rest to hubby

5. Did you get any compliments today?
Hubby's been awfully sweet, but I don't remember any specific compliments

6. Have you ever gone to court?
More than once

7. Are you friends with your neighbors?
Next door? Don't know them well. But I do have good friends who live in my neighborhood

8. What languages does your mom speak?
French, I think, and some German

9. Where have you lived throughout your life?
Utah and Virginia and Utah and Oregon and Utah

10. What's the last piercings you got?
my belly button (it no longer exists, however)

11. When was the last time you drove more than 15 minutes?
This weekend -- I drove TO park city Friday, hubby drove home this morning

13. Have you ever thrown up/passed out from drinking?
Nope

14. Do you still have feelings for your ex?
No, unless "I never want to see him again so I don't die" is a feeling.

15. Have you ever toilet papered someones house?
... yes.

16. Have you ever had a crush on your sister's/brother's friend?
... yes. Older brother had two hot friends ... liked them both simultaneously.

17. Have you ever gone to a beach?
YES! Love the beach

18. Have you ever had a stalker?
Ex-husband = psycho = stalker

19. Do you remember your music teacher's names?
Madame Scanland (elementary), Mr Sartain (junior high), Mr Miller (hs), Lois (hs), Terry (college), Wayne (college), Mr Johnson (college), Sue (piano), Rebecca (piano), Dr. David (piano) ... I've also had two oboe teachers but can't recall their names. Dr. Stubbs may have been my college one.

20. How good is your eyesight?
it's not good. -6.25 or so ... plus astigmatisms in both eyes. There's reasons I have an appointment at the Lasik center next month -- assuming the fact that I forgot spermicide once this week doesn't mean anything.

21. Have you ever gone to a party?
Yup

22. Would you ever swim with the sharks?
Heck no

23. What would you say if I told you I was in love with your brother?
I'd tell you all 3 of my brothers are married, but my husband has a brother who is single (and just graduated college and has a job ...)

24. Have you ever been out of your country?
Yep -- Canada briefly (like a couple hours) and toured Germany and Austria playing the piano with Dr. David and some of his other students.

25. Have you seen your best friend naked?
Well. My husband is my best friend, so ... yeah. Other than that, no, but my former roommate once came home unexpectedly while I was in the shower and doused me with ice water, and SHE saw ME naked as I chased her out of the bathroom.

26. What's the best wedding you've been to?
My own.

27. Would your parents be mad if you got suspended for fighting?
...

28. Where are your siblings right now?
well. I have two sibs who live nearby; my sister is in Springville and my brother who lives in AF is actually in Hawaii on a second honeymoon with his sweet wifey poo. I also have a sister in North Carolina, a brother in Arizona, and a brother who lives in Japan.

29. What's the last dream you can remember?
I had really weird dreams during the night ... can't remember details.

30. Who was the last person that called you?
The folks watching Munchkin this weekend called yesterday morning to get the code for our garage so they could find her bathing suit.

31. What time did you wake up this morning?
2, 3, 5 ... 6, 7 ... 7:45-ish. not the best night, and not for any GOOD reasons, just not sleeping well.

32. What are you doing this weekend?
Just got home from a trip with hubby. next weekend I will be working.

33. What does the 4th text message on your phone say and who?
I don't know -- not getting it to look. it is probably hubby's ex though, saying "Hi, hope you're having a great day" or "your husband sucks" or something along either of those two themes.

34. When was the last time you were really sick and where?
Aside from supposed early pregnancy sickness? I remember having a horrible flu winter 2005, and was really sick at home. i also remember being really sick after my surgery last summer -- morphine and lortab are NOT my friends.

35. Who's the last celebrity you touched?
I don't touch celebrities.

36. What's in your back pocket?
I'm in my underwear. No back pockets.

37. Do you wear colored contacts?
No

38. What were you doing at 4am this morning?
either sleeping or waking up to hubby being sick

39. What do you usually do first in the morning?
roll over and try to figure out how much longer i can lay there before i absolutely have to get up... -- ditto, but i need to quit doing this

40. What are you going to do after this?
either watch a movie or have a nap. i'm sleepy.

YAY for weekends!

Friday Fave Five!

1. TIME WITH MY HUSBAND

2. Second honeymoons

3. Paid time off work

4. Earning nearly almost 8 hours paid time off every two weeks

5. Friends who help out at the drop of a hat or a late-night phone call so I don't lose my mind and/or can run away to a hotel with my husband

Yep. We're off to see the wizar ... um, we're going to Park City for the weekend. No computers, no phones, no kids ... yay!

SMALL VICTORIES (some of this post is copied from losing it, but some is not)

Even if it was semi stoopid.

I was having a bad night last night. Instead of doing any of many negative things I've struggled with in the past when I'm stressed and emotional, including the binging-purging thing I did in high school or just binging, I put on my walking shoes and left the house.

The bad thing is, it was midnight and I ended up on a creepy stretch of road.

Thank heaven for CC and the Boy. Called her up as I was leaving the house and she came and got me so I didn't have to walk back down the creepy road.

BUT I did something GOOD and walked (I think) two miles instead of doing something BAD for me. Yay.

Later in the afternoon, I had another small victory. Thought about having a Klondike bar for lunch, but I had a Lean Cuisine meal instead. I even had the Klondike sitting on my desk! but I put it back in the freezer. yay.

And tonight, my walking partner wasn't sure she could go, so I grabbed kidlet and hit the pavement anyway. We only went around the neighborhood once (it's about 3/4 mile) because I was still tired from my midnight adventures, but I WENT. I followed through on the commitment I made to myself.

In the last 11 days, I've missed 3 days of walking (Thursday, Saturday, and Monday). But that means I've walked 8 days. Looking at my sticker chart, there is no other time this year that I've done that.

Hubby and I are going away this weekend (Friday night through Sunday morning), and I fully intend to use the treadmill Saturday, walking before we leave Friday and I'm going to take Sunday off (which is recommended by several leading exercise gurus -- giving yourself one day of rest every week, and indulge in a treat then, too). Food will probably be out the window until Monday, though. Owell. I do need to work on the Pepsi thing. It's bad for me.

FOOD yesterday:

Breakfast: 1 mini bagel, 1 egg, 1 slice ham, 1 Tbs cheese
Lunch: Grilled pork chop w/ 1 Tbs sbr's bbq sauce, 1 c ww pasta with sundried tomato pesto, and a huge salad
Dinner: Lean cuisine french bread pizza
Snacks: ugh. i think two klondikes and two cans of pepsi. not sure how many, didn't write it down

FOOD today:

Breakfast: 4 egg whites, 2 slices lf ham, 2 Tbs grated cheese, 1 Tbs salsa, all wrapped up in a burrito (white flour wrap; working on that)
Snack: 1-1/2 cups lf microwave popcorn
Lunch: Lean cuisine teriyaki chicken
Dinner: 8 oz cherry yogurt and two bites of lasagne (yes, really)
SODA: Two cans of Pepsi
(much happier with this day)

LEEP and Pap smears and stuff

Since kip didn't know what a LEEP was, I figured probably others didn't, too.

Girls, there are reasons we have Paps every year. All women over age 21 need them. Women under 21 who are sexually active and have been for more than three years need them. Don't skip them. Don't avoid them because it's weird to have someone look down there or because it is a bit uncomfortable to get some cells brushed off your cervix. Just mark it on your calendar and go in for one. Every year. Take a Valium or a Xanax if you have to, but DO IT. If you need more information, go here.

My sister missed hers for the first time last year, but her doctor said it should be fine since she hasn't had an abnormal one for so long and she'd had one right before she found out she was pregnant with Peanut. So, it had been two years since her Pap. They found abnormal cells this time. They did a cervical biopsy, which showed rapidly changing cells which were precancerous. That is why a Pap is important -- it can save your life.

Next is the LEEP. LEEP stands for "loop electrode excision procedure". First, they numb your cervix (thank Heaven). Then, they take the loop and remove the surface of your cervix and the surface of your endocervical canal, to get rid of any abnormal, precancerous cells. They also take healthy cells to make sure they get it all. If the margins aren't clear, they have to either do it again or do a hysterectomy, and if there are any cancerous cells, hysterectomy is probably the next step.

So, get your Paps. I'm due for one next month and will be scheduling that appointment ASAP.

In other news, going for a walk at midnight on a creepy stretch of State Street without my wallet or telling my husband wasn't the smartest, but cc came to the rescue and let me talk with her and picked me up and brought me home. :) She's awesome.

So is hubby -- he just doesn't understand that about himself. Oy.

This morning was good. Then I got up.

Have you ever felt like the guy Jamie Lee Curtis shrinks in Freaky Friday? yeah ...

Okay, so seriously. Today could totally have been worse. But it could've been better too. ;) Sunday at church some kid told Munchkin that Utah is way overdue for a big earthquake. she hasn't slept well since. Punk. Him. Not her. I was talking to his mom, my friend, at the time or I probably would've intervened.

Mother's Day was good but hard, and hubby surprised me with a cute basket full of cookie making stuff and a cookie cookbook. My cynical side said 1. He wants me to make him cookies and 2. Everyone's been giving me cookbooks lately, wonder if they're trying to tell me something. THEN sanity reigned and I realized he knows I love to cook and love trying new recipes and we watch the food network and I have even talked about taking some cooking classes. I promptly made some cookies with one of the recipes ... sort of ... because I don't always follow recipes exactly ... and took them over to his mom.

Talked with my mom (yay for moms!) and while I was on the phone with her I got a phone call from an old guy friend my husband despises and to whom I haven't spoken since we got engaged, since I sent everyone a generic "I'm getting married" email and said friend got offended. I didn't know who it was, though, so I didn't answer the phone ... and got the feeling he wanted to do more than say "hi" when I got the message. Now, since we haven't spoken in so long and one of our last conversations was entirely inappropriate (about his sex life with his wife! not sure if they're still married or what though), I will not return the call. Call me harsh, call me names, call me whatever you want for it, but I figured it's always better to keep MY man happy than deal with someone else's crap. (note: my hubby never asked me not to talk to him; it was something i volunteered to do -- he has no problems with any of my other friends, including the guys, so no biggie on this one.)

Today has just been hard for work -- yesterday I helped my sister with her toddler while she underwent a LEEP. I love my niece, but it's hard for me to hold babies and toddlers ... not because I want one of my own (oddly, only brown babies make me cry. my niece isn't brown), but because it wears me out. One of the reasons we are selling the house and moving to an apartment -- can't afford this place if both of us aren't working full time, and I won't be able to while I'm pregnant or afterwards. anyway. Love my niece, loved taking care of her, but she slept in my arms for quite a while and my right arm is quite painful today. Might have to find some of my drugs from after my surgery (not kidding).

But my order from old navy (clothes and a new bathing suit) showed up today. My order from overstock (exercise videos and books) should get here tomorrow. And my order from my favorite adult website (duh) should be here Thursday or Friday, just in time for our weekend getaway to Park City this weekend. SO excited.

AND my friend I've been walking with came by tonight to see if I wanted to go, since I hadn't gotten out yet today. That helped lots.

Small Fry called! She's really excited to come next month, so I'm hoping all that goes as planned. Gotta talk to her mom and find out what day she'll let me take her. Woohoo!

There is something funky smelling in my office. Guess I'm cleaning it tomorrow.

Goofiness runs very deep in my family

Kiddo just came into my office faking laryngitis and squeaked out, "Mom, I'm a little hoarse." and I said, "I thought you were a little girl!" hahaahahahahahah. I crack me up sometimes.

At least she didn't say I was embarrassing her today. That's always amusing to hear when we're home alone and I'm being a goofball and she's ... embarrassed ... and yet, she can be all weird and dance strangely (like a white girl) and I'm not supposed to be embarrassed. Ever.

Of course, cc was over last night and hubby thought we'd gone out the front door (we had just put our shoes back on), and suddenly we heard a Tarzan yell as he came down the stairs carrying empty box parts from the new bunk bed. He was VERY embarrassed that cc had heard him. He said he would only have been mildly embarrassed if I had been alone. But I love it when he's silly; I don't see that side of him enough.

I'M NOT YOUR MAID!!!!

How many times have I wanted to yell that at my child? I've never done it.

So this morning, we're cleaning her room so the new bunk bed can be delivered, and I told her she needed to vacuum. Guess who yelled the above statement? That's right. NOT me.

After taking a time out for myself so I didn't yell back, I explained to her that I'm the one who does her laundry and scrubs her toilet (to which she said, EWWW!). She has chores to do, and cleaning her room is on that list.

Then I told her it was a good thing her dad hadn't heard her sass me like that. She agreed.

I did eventually yell though. Something about her continuing to play among the old bed parts (which isn't safe, but she wouldn't listen). Fine. Drop a bed frame on yourself. I won't feel sorry for you.

Anyway. The "I'm not your maid" statement came from a TV show in which a child actually was having to be the maid for his mom and twin brother. They both had the flu; he was doing all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. I don't think cleaning your own room with the help of your mother qualifies you as a maid. Grrrrr.

And off I go to work. Until my next interruption, which hopefully will either be taking her to school (yay!) or the delivery guys (yay!).

*Edit*

I just realized it's been forever since I've done a Friday Fave Five. The above is sort of the opposite of that.

So ...

1. I am grateful for my sweet husband -- who, after waking me up the other night while playing WoW with his brother on line, turned off his computer and took me back to bed and held me while I fell back asleep, and he fell asleep, too. He also went to therapy this week and is taking the supplements we all talked about, including some herbal formulas for mood stabilization. And he agreed to try a prescription medication if the herbals don't work. (if you don't know my husband and the culture and his parents' involvement, you don't know how much progress this is). I also went shopping for clothes the other day and didn't tell him first (we usually talk things over before we spend more than a couple dollars on ourselves), and he said, "Go buy more clothes! You need a swimsuit that you like." when I told him how much plus-size suits run, he said it was worth it if I liked it and felt good in it. What a guy.

2. I am grateful for my kidlet -- even on days like today.

3. I am grateful for the Small Fry -- and the fact that we can call her and send her letters again.

4. I am grateful Small Fry's mother -- and whatever has possessed her of late to try and let us have a relationship with Small Fry. She and my husband are both bipolar and things are so much better now that they've agreed to not talk to each other. Honestly, I have no idea how they got along long enough to make a baby in the first place. Since it's just me dealing with her, things are so good. So I'm grateful for her for trying to be friendly with me, even though some of her "Good morning!" texts can be interesting. (like yesterday. "Good morning, hope you woke up on the wrong side of the coffin!").

5. I am grateful for my friends and family and co-workers. They've kept me sane this past week while dealing with everything that's been going on.

*sob* I feel much less grumpy now.

and another one bites the dust

I am a weepy mess today. But I bought cute PJ shorts so I guess that's good. especially since small fry is (hopefully) coming and i'd feel weird running around in just T-shirts and my underwear (which i probably shouldn't do with kiddo being older now, too, but owell).

We bought a bunk bed yesterday. both mattresses are full sized, so we need new sheets and stuff, too. the ex says she's doing the notary thing next week. i'm buying plane tickets next week. it's ... busy and crrazy stressful, but it'll be okay.

i need to call the eye doctor. still. gah. fluctuating between wanting to do them and wanting to just keep trying to get pregnant, and since i'm so weepy today and not entirely rational, i guess i'll stick with the plan of getting the eyes zapped.

And today ... is another day.

I am doing better today. Yesterday, not so much. Not going to do the TMI thing here, but suffice it to say I'm 99.99% sure I *was* pregnant and am no longer.

Yesterday was enough to make me want to try for a baby again like next week (when I ovulate). But then ... I got to talking with hubby and didn't say anything, but he reminded me he's starting a 12-week body building competition next month and I get to fly out to Cali to get Small Fry for 6 weeks and then take her home, and we want to go camping this summer, and Munchkin is getting baptized in August, and all that stuff is going on all at the same time, and if we were to get pregnant, I would be feeling like death warmed over again (fatigue, hurting boobs, and nausea which would be squashed with Zofran). And we are trying to sell the house. So instead, I'm calling the eye doc today to talk about LASIK and ... when we're a bit more settled and Small Fry is back in Cali ... we'll try again.

And then DisGrace called ... and ... I think I'm going to get to help them out a bit with their Peanut this summer around various procedures and surgeries going on with their family. So ... maybe it's better I'm not preggers right now ...

Maybe.

We *are* going on a second mini-honeymoon next weekend to Park City (the 18th and 19th). So that'll be awesome. YAY!

And today we are probably going bed shopping after hubby's doctor appointment and lunch. we need to get a bunk bed since we have to put the girls in the same room. Wheeeeee!!!

friends are good

i'm glad i have friends. good ones. friday i was so nauseated and stuff and had gone to the doctor ... cupcake and cc came down and we had lunch and then went to kip's.

today, i was ... fragile. talked to my friend L whose husband S is my home teacher this morning -- it's good to have friends in the ward. started feeling better. so i called cc. and we went shopping. i got a pair of capris ("those shorts look cute on you, honey" -- said my sweet husband, while eyeing my rear) and two T-shirts. then we went to two shoe stores (tried on a million pairs and didn't buy any) and then had lunch at fazoli's and then ice cream and then went to a decor store (tai pan/pai trading, cc??). i didn't buy anything there -- didn't see a point in further decorating a house i'm about to sell. anyway.

got home, picked up kiddo, went and picked up my avon order (yay for bubble bath and lip gloss and thick moisturizers for my dry elbows and feet), picked up the check from the refi, picked up dinner, got home, hubby said, "hey, let's go see a movie!" so we ate fast and drove fast over to TGP (btw, kip, we wanna take the girls to the dinosaur museum this summer; think you can hook us up? ;)) to watch Meet the Robinsons. LOVED it. came home and now i'm tired and need to go to bed. we tried to call Small Fry but got a text saying to call back after 7 their time -- which is when Kidlet has to go to bed (8 here) and hubby is usually sleeping, and his ex knows this. Gah. Psycho is back, methinks.

anyway. friends help ya get through crap you normally wouldn't/couldn't. so thanks.

Hormones

Since I was feeling pretty good (i.e., no nausea and my pain was semi-under control when we left and my emotions weren't too rowdy), I went to church yesterday. As soon as we got there, the pain was much worse -- I've never had cramps that strong and lasted that long before -- but I needed to stay and try to feel the Spirit, and we didn't go last week and kiddo needed to get to primary. I leaked through my skirt, which I've never had happen before (it was black, so I don't think anyone else noticed). While we were there, one of my good friends asked me if I'm pregnant. I had to explain things to her. She had a miscarriage in December and is now pregnant again. She says she thinks we probably conceived and lost it, too, but it hadn't produced enough hormone to get picked up on the tests.

In my half awake state this morning, it occurred to me: My body is sensitive to the slightest change in hormones. Always has been. I started getting sick with kiddo immediately after she was conceived. The mini pill we tried after kiddo was born sunk me into a horrible depression. I gained 30 pounds in 3 months on another supposedly low-dose birth control pill when I was living with my parents after my divorce. The minute amount of hormone in the Mirena IUD, which the docs and midwife thought would work well for me since other hormones have been so bad, helped me gain back all the weight I had lost last year, gave me horrible cystic acne, sunk me into a depression again and made me extremely irrational, and I bled nearly every day I had the thing.

I don't know what the doctor will think and I don't much care at this point. No point in dwelling on it, but at least hubby was cognizant of my state last night and held me for a while. We decided we aren't ready to try again; this was too hard on both of us.

AND... Really Stoopid News!!!!

um ...

The Zofran was helping me not puke. I was feeling okay but tired, so I had a nap. And woke up to squeezy cramps ... and ... well ... I started bleeding.

If there was a baby, there is no longer.

I will talk to the doc's office Monday about the blood work and see if we can figure out what is going on with me.

At least I don't feel like I'm going to barf anymore.

I *heart* Zofran

Okay, so I don't know if it'll work this well all the time, but I just took 1/2 of a pill and ... 10 minutes later ... I'm human again!

All I can say is thank the Lord for hubby's insurance -- the retail price of 12 pills of generic Zofran is $484+ (at WALMART). Because of his insurance, my co-pay was $15.

I'd tried Phenergan earlier and it barely took the edge off the queasy feeling. This is so much better ... maybe I'll rest well tonight. Yay!

Update from the Dr.

My urine pregnancy test at their office was negative. At first, he suggested I wait a few more days, see if my period comes, and if not try again. I asked him to draw a quantitative beta hCG (the blood test). He agreed. He's also running a thyroid panel from the same draw. If I don't have my period and the hCG test comes back negative, they've asked me to come in again for another UA, which the nurse forgot to do before dumping my "sample," and I'm just an emotional mess so I didn't feel like staying for a few more minutes and giving another one. (by the time I got home i had to pee again).

He did give me an Rx for an antinausea medication so I can function. Hallelujah. I'm going to get it filled before/during/after the lunch thing with CC and cupcake. Wheeeee. :)

blog this, blog that

So, I've been reading other blogs lately, linked through my friends' blogs to people I don't know. It just hit me this morning after reading a couple of them that no matter how bad I have it, someone else is also going through other trials which are just as bad or worse than mine.

Honestly, I was having a pity party. Probably still am. I thought it was bad that I was going through what I've been going through: Being sick for months after recovering from open-heart surgery surgery, having interesting "discussions" with my family, my husband's bipolar disorder and anxiety issues, my stepdaughter being taken last summer, etc. etc. etc.

But reading some of the blogs I've found has led me to appreciate the good things about my life. I have the gospel, I have the Savior, I have a husband who loves me and who GETS me, I have an incredibly loving daughter and a beautiful stepdaughter, and we may get her for 6 weeks this summer (she's apparently in year-round school) ... y'know? Life is hard. But when I get into a pity party because I don't feel well or I'm tired or my chest hurts or my period is *still* late and the 8th pregnancy test in a row is negative and yet I'm nauseated and fatigued fairly constantly, I have to remind myself life isn't just hard for ME. It's hard for everyone. It just seems that the more "grown up" I get, the harder it is to recognize the good stuff of my life since there is so much trial, struggle, and heartache.

One of my favorite books is "The Princess Bride." The good parts version. The dude who edited it made it really readable. It skips all the boring stuff, the elaborate descriptions of the clothes and the hair and the food and the parties and the politics. It just gets to the real meat and bones of the story. It doesn't mean that it's all roses. It has chases, escapes, fighting, revenge, torture, true love ... It's the "good" stuff -- the real stuff.

I guess, for ME, I need to view the things that come up as the "good parts" version of life. Let go of the little details (whether I have fashionable clothes or not or if the house is more lived-in than spotless), focus on the real stuff (my family, friends, and the Gospel,) and just realize that after getting through this trial, I'll be a better me, and more able to face the next one. Because the sad truth of life is that there are always trials. Sometimes we think, if I can lose 10 pounds, I'll be happy. Or if I get married, I'll be happy. Or if I get pregnant and have a baby, I'll be happy. Heck, I need to lose 60-70 pounds and yet I want more babies, but I can still be happy. Right? But there's trials to getting through all those things, and trials after they happen, and bumps and potholes in the road of life that can stall us.

The amazing thing is that we aren't put on this earth by ourselves. We're given our family and friends and the Gospel, and we have those relationships to support us and encourage us through the rough spots. We have to learn to be happy with who we are and know where we're going, even through the bad times and the hard parts, and I'm discovering more and more that that is a lifelong process.

I feel like a dork when I comment on other people's blogs if I don't know them. But I love people. I love reading their blogs. My co-workers are all over the country and I've only ever met two of them -- it's almost like they're also bloggers since I'll probably never meet most of these people. But I love getting to know people and I feel for them through pain and trials, and some of their struggles bring me to tears, but I really love rejoicing with them during the good times. And really ... if I can be a shoulder for someone to cry on, or I have one more person to grow my circle of loved ones for me to cry on, then I shouldn't feel like a dork for reaching out to someone, whether they're a fellow blogger or a co-worker in another state.

Cheers, hugs, tears of empathy ...

Stewie.

My *real* birthday

So, my birthday is really April 24th. I posted something about it, but I don't think I ever followed up on what else happened ... Yeah, hubby gave me the DVDs early, but he'd planned to all along. Aside from his awesome gift, I did get a few other things.

*My sister bought me lunch at Red Robin, so not only did she buy me lunch, but she spent time with me, too.
*My mom bought me some typing gloves. She'd given one to me to try last year and I like them more than the ones I usually buy, but I couldn't find them around here, so she bought me four more. So excited.
*Mom and dad also sent me a check, with which I bought two new pairs of shoes (thank heaven for BOGO). My church shoes were pinching my feet and my flip flops have given me a callus where the strap rubs in a certain spot, so I needed new ones. In a bigger size. Ack.
*Grandpa usually sends me money, but he's been in the hospital.
*Hubby and I went to dinner at the Olive Garden the saturday following the birthday, and then saw a movie (kickin' it old school -- stoopid, lame, idiotic).

And hubby's boss felt bad that they made him work on my birthday, so they sent me a Walmart gift card, too, and essentially told him that he won't ever get fired. hahahahahaha.

I spent my birthday at home by myself cleaning, eating junk food, and watching many episodes of ALIAS. As I posted earlier, the house is still fairly clean, which is awesome since I *think* we're showing it tomorrow.

Man. I am not feeling all that hot so may be repeating myself.

So, today, I got a phone call from hubby. He fell down a flight of stairs at work and landed on a metal cart. Sprained his ankle, has some other bumps and bruises, but he's home in bed with his ankle on ice and being elevated. So far, he's being a good patient, but I don't expect that to last the day. He's home from work the rest of the week. This accident was classified as a "near miss" since they didn't have to take him to the hospital, or he probably would really have been fired. Oops. poor hubby.

It's a MIRACLE!

So, last Monday I celebrated my birthday with DisGrace. Tuesday was my actual birthday and since hubby's boss wouldn't let him have the day off but my boss did, I spent the day home alone, watching Alias, eating junk food (CPK pizza), and cleaning my house. It was good -- a pretty relaxing day, even though I cleaned for 4 or 5 hours. Hubby came home astounded so much had been done and on his 5-day weekend last weekend, he actually helped clean MORE instead of making more messes.

Guess what? It's still clean. I did some major bathroom work a couple weeks ago and now just run through the bathrooms with Clorox wipes and scrub the potty, shine the mirrors, and they're done. I'll do major work in them again later this month.

Not only is the main part of the house clean, but while kidlet was having her meltdown Sunday night, hubby made her clean her room AND her closet.

It's still clean, too.

We had surprise visitors last night and, while we had to move the clean laundry off the couch and kiddo had to pick up her stuff of the floor, I felt comfortable that the house was in pretty good shape. Not perfect, but decent. And I knew that some of our guests were going in her room and wasn't embarrassed in the least ... except for the state of the kitchen yesterday, but when you feel like you're going to puke if you even LOOK at dirty dishes, well, I'm not doing them. I did change the dishwasher and ran it this morning during a 10-minute period before I got nauseated.

So, just wandering through the house today (I'm trying to work but really spacey and don't feel great, but hey, mint gum is helping curb the nausea, so maybe i can save a few calories chewing that instead of eating 5 or 6 starlight mints every day), I'm just happy the house is pretty clean. And it's been a week. And while hubby was having his own crisis last night (about the surprise visitors; he hates when people just drop by), we also got the laundry put away. So Yay! Clean house! It's not perfect and needs a bit more help before I show it to anyone, but at least I am not freaking out anymore about the Pilot (Pile-it) Program we had going on. Pile-it here, Pile-it there, Pile-it in the closets ...

Yay! Another survey!

OO1. When's the last time you ran?
the other day ... we have a race to kiddo's bedroom every night when tucking her in to see who gets there first. it's usually just hubby and her racing. he usually lets her win.

OO2. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
Yeah ...

OO3. What are you dreading right now?
Dreading?

OO4. Do you celebrate 4/20?
Never smoked pot.

OO5. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?
Depends on the day.

O06. If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would ya'll do?
Say hi and then slam the door in their face. Okay, so that's what HUBBY would WANT me to do (he hates it when anyone shows up unannounced; case in point: the EQ presidency showed up last night. He went to our room rather than deal). I'd probably let them in.

O07. Who last grabbed your a**?
hubby.

O08. Have you ever been on your school's track team?
nope.

O09. Do you own a pair of Converse?
nope.

O10. Did you copy and paste this survey?
no. I am an idiot.

O11. Do you eat raw cookie dough?
only if it's in ice cream

O12. Have you ever kicked a vending machine?
no.

O13. Don't you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over?
yes!

O14. Do you watch Trading Spaces?
used to. not so much anymore.

O15. How do you eat oreos?
i don't.

O16. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone?
define "very long".

O17. Are you cocky?
probably.

O18. Could you live without a computer?
not for very long.

O19. Do you wear your shoes in the house?
rarely

O20. At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real?
um ... I don't know. probably around 8 or 9.

O21. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house?
2 home, 2 cell

O22. What do you do when you're sad?
cry? sleep? smash my head into the wall? or get really really pissed off.

O23. Who would you call first if you won the lottery?
my husband ...

O24. Last time you saw your best friend?
which one? i have several. but either way - TODAY! -- lol.

O25. Who or what sleeps with you?
hopefully my husband. and occasionally a teddy bear or stuffed animal.

026. Are you/have you ever been in love?
Yep.

027. Are you in high school?
emotionally sometimes. ;) -- hahahahahahaha

028. Is anyone on your bad side now?
Yes.

O29. What jewelry are you wearing?
actually, I just got up, so ... not so much jewelry.

O30. What's the first thing you do when you get online?
check the email.

O31. Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?
nope

O32. How do most people spell your name?
They spell my first name without the H. They never attempt to spell my last name.

O33. Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes?
I've worn hubby's clothes, but only after we got married. Does that count?

O34. Where do you work?
In our third bedroom.

O35. What are you doing tomorrow?
same thing I do every day. Work.

O36. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson?
uh ... no clue, don't care much.

O37. Favorite name for a girl?
I'm assuming this is for a child I may have in the future since I have two already. Lily, but it's becoming quite popular.

O38. Favorite name for a boy?
Our first boy will be named after his father.

O39. Will you keep your last name when you get married?
I didn't.

O40. When was the last time you left your house?
Yesterday afternoon ... to pick up monkey.

O41. Do you return your cart?
Depends on how I'm feeling.

O42. Do you have a dishwasher?
yep.

O43. What noise do you hear?
Monkey singing in the shower.

O44. Would you survive in prison?
Yes. Just ask the girl at Panda. I am a "perra" but I'm not anyone's bitch.

O45. Who is the youngest in your family?
... My niece in Japan. Until J pops, and then it's her baby.

O46. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would be most likely to over pack?
cc or kami ...

O47. Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
YES! She's my sister (DisGrace)'s friend in SLC. I actually knew a girl at our rival high school with the same name, too, AND recently met a toddler with the same name. If you know my name (and I don't mean Stewie), you know how not normal that is.

O48. What's the last thing you purchased?
avocados, strawberries, bananas (for hubby), pesto, yogurt, whole wheat pasta, ice cream (which I TOTALLY forgot about until just now), spinach ... what's that? you don't want the whole list? fine. groceries ... NO, wait! I signed papers yesterday on our refi for the house, so I re-bought the house again. Does that count? they gave me Lehi Roller Mills baking mixes for it ...

O49. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you?
DisGrace and I do for each other.

O50. What brand are your pants right now?
See #029. Not much clothes either.

O51. Ever been to Georgia?
I don't think so ...

O52. What irritates you most on the internet?
The stoopid stories people make up and other people forward that are designed to strike fear of EVERYTHING in our hearts. Has no one EVER heard of Snopes? I know they have; I tell them about it every time ... oy.

O53. What brand is your digital camera?
Fuji? Hubby bought it.

O54. Do you watch movies with your parents?
Can't recall the last time that happened ...

O55. What song best describes your life right now?
Broken Road. Rascal Flatts.

O56. Do you own expensive perfume/cologne?
Define expensive.

O57. Are you taking college classes right now?
No.

058. Do you like sushi?
not what i've tried, but i am taking hubby to a sushi restaurant where we will try many different kinds.

059. Do you get your hair cut every month?
No. I'm lucky to get it cut a few times a year.

060. Do you go online everyday?
... yes. if you knew my job, you'd know the answer to that question.