It's that time again ...

I realized I haven't really thought about resolutions or self promises yet ... and wondered why. I had sort of a realization: I sort of hate myself. I hate how overweight I've let myself get. I hate how lazy I feel. I hate how messy my house is (although that isn't entirely up to me). I hate how distracted I get at work. I hate that I don't feel "worth it" to buy myself clothes or shoes that fit. And so I eat more and move less, thus making the downward spiral continue.

It stops. Now.

In 2009, I am taking care of myself. I am taking care of my career. I am taking care of my family, my home, my finances, my addictions, my body, my spirit, my health ...

Today, I spent my Christmas bonus on me. This is big, because my last company bonus, I spent on clothes for my husband (because none of his fit) and I usually spend money on the kids or him first. So today, I bought earrings. They are pretty, CZ set in 18k plated sterling, and a pair of 14k gold balls. It wasn't a huge bonus, but I felt *pretty* for the first time in a while after getting my makeup on and putting a pair of sparkly earrings on. Wild. And so it begins. :)

Self:
*Sew something weekly, even if it is just *one* ornament for Christmas next year
*Complete one unfinished project a month
*New clothes as I shrink out of my current ones
*New shoes as I need new ones
*Girl time as needed

In order to accomplish the clothing and shoes items, I will put aside my $20/paycheck "allowance" so I can get those items as I need them. I will spend my birthday money and other monetary gifts that are given to me on those items as I need them. And I do need time away from the family to recharge my batteries, so I'll take that too and feel fine about it.

Physical Health:
*Shower and floss my teeth daily
*Move daily (walk or DVD or similar)
*Quit Pepsi/Coke/caffeine intake
*Cook and eat healthy again

Showering and taking the time to floss and workout doesn't happen every day lately, but that changes today. Overcoming Pepsi/caffeine addiction will free up my allowance money to go toward the clothing and shoes, and new workout DVDs as I need them. I know how to cook healthy and eat right for my body, I just need to put MY health and MY needs as a priority instead of sacrificing that.

Spirit:
*15 minutes in scriptures daily
*Church every week (barring illness)
*Get my temple recommend renewed
*Attend the temple with my husband

I haven't studied my scriptures regularly since my surgery a couple of years ago. My routine got messed up in the hospickle being in the ICU and all that. Things have been rocky on and off since then, and I know this will help. So will attending the temple with my husband, who has his recommend now.

Family:
*Do one fun thing a week with kiddo, even if Mojo has to go or be there
*Try to do one fun thing a week with kiddo without Mojo, even if we're just at home and he's sleeping or something
*Date my husband
*Take some time off for the family reunion in July to spend with my family of origin as well as my little family
*Get Mojo's crib put up again and *him sleeping in it*

Mojo gets most of my time and attention these days, so hopefully I can remedy some of that by focusing on spending a little time with kiddo and hubby separately and Mojo in his own bed again

Home:
*Spend an hour a day on housework, including putting laundry away as it comes out of the dryer
*Plan a menu and stick to it
*Eat out once a month or less
*Spend 15 minutes decluttering every day, even if I have to throw things away
*Get the garage door painted
*Carpets cleaned
*Touch up paint or re-paint throughout

I just need to feel better about the state of the house. I know the family messes things up behind me as I go through and clean, but if I were more consistent on cleaning, it'd look better.

Career/Financial:
*Hit my work goals (900 lines a day 6 days a week)
*Pay off the credit card, hospickle, and car (total debt: 15K)
*Tithing every paycheck

We do pay our tithing, but sometimes it takes a few weeks to get it paid because we don't go or leave it home or whatever. You don't get the blessings if you don't turn it over, so ... this needs to be done. Every week. And to get the debt paid off, I have to hit the work goals and spend less on frivolous stuff.

I know it sounds like a lot, but really, it's just me getting back to being ME again, and making things work together instead of sabotaging myself and my goals. Not that I'm perfect now or ever was, but my home used to be neater, I used to be thinner, I used to be more spiritual, and even though I'm happy now, I know I can be happier.