blog this, blog that

So, I've been reading other blogs lately, linked through my friends' blogs to people I don't know. It just hit me this morning after reading a couple of them that no matter how bad I have it, someone else is also going through other trials which are just as bad or worse than mine.

Honestly, I was having a pity party. Probably still am. I thought it was bad that I was going through what I've been going through: Being sick for months after recovering from open-heart surgery surgery, having interesting "discussions" with my family, my husband's bipolar disorder and anxiety issues, my stepdaughter being taken last summer, etc. etc. etc.

But reading some of the blogs I've found has led me to appreciate the good things about my life. I have the gospel, I have the Savior, I have a husband who loves me and who GETS me, I have an incredibly loving daughter and a beautiful stepdaughter, and we may get her for 6 weeks this summer (she's apparently in year-round school) ... y'know? Life is hard. But when I get into a pity party because I don't feel well or I'm tired or my chest hurts or my period is *still* late and the 8th pregnancy test in a row is negative and yet I'm nauseated and fatigued fairly constantly, I have to remind myself life isn't just hard for ME. It's hard for everyone. It just seems that the more "grown up" I get, the harder it is to recognize the good stuff of my life since there is so much trial, struggle, and heartache.

One of my favorite books is "The Princess Bride." The good parts version. The dude who edited it made it really readable. It skips all the boring stuff, the elaborate descriptions of the clothes and the hair and the food and the parties and the politics. It just gets to the real meat and bones of the story. It doesn't mean that it's all roses. It has chases, escapes, fighting, revenge, torture, true love ... It's the "good" stuff -- the real stuff.

I guess, for ME, I need to view the things that come up as the "good parts" version of life. Let go of the little details (whether I have fashionable clothes or not or if the house is more lived-in than spotless), focus on the real stuff (my family, friends, and the Gospel,) and just realize that after getting through this trial, I'll be a better me, and more able to face the next one. Because the sad truth of life is that there are always trials. Sometimes we think, if I can lose 10 pounds, I'll be happy. Or if I get married, I'll be happy. Or if I get pregnant and have a baby, I'll be happy. Heck, I need to lose 60-70 pounds and yet I want more babies, but I can still be happy. Right? But there's trials to getting through all those things, and trials after they happen, and bumps and potholes in the road of life that can stall us.

The amazing thing is that we aren't put on this earth by ourselves. We're given our family and friends and the Gospel, and we have those relationships to support us and encourage us through the rough spots. We have to learn to be happy with who we are and know where we're going, even through the bad times and the hard parts, and I'm discovering more and more that that is a lifelong process.

I feel like a dork when I comment on other people's blogs if I don't know them. But I love people. I love reading their blogs. My co-workers are all over the country and I've only ever met two of them -- it's almost like they're also bloggers since I'll probably never meet most of these people. But I love getting to know people and I feel for them through pain and trials, and some of their struggles bring me to tears, but I really love rejoicing with them during the good times. And really ... if I can be a shoulder for someone to cry on, or I have one more person to grow my circle of loved ones for me to cry on, then I shouldn't feel like a dork for reaching out to someone, whether they're a fellow blogger or a co-worker in another state.

Cheers, hugs, tears of empathy ...

Stewie.