My horoscope today: There is simply no substitute for cold, hard cash. Don't buy what you can't afford.

Now, I realize this is common sense to a lot of people and that horoscopes are pretty silly, but this "pay cash" thing is something I had to learn and am still learning. My parents didn't teach us this so much -- they're great parents, but we didn't have many financial lessons in this arena when we were growing up. When I was 18, I got my first credit card. By the time I was 23, I was over $5000 in debt, and going through a divorce with a newborn baby. I moved home, debt consolidated, and over the years the debt got paid off.

Now at the ripe old age of 30 (almost 31), I am a homeowner, but have a big car payment and about double the consumer debt I had then -- except, half is medical and half is school. Anything we want, we save for and pay cash for, and if we can't save for it, we don't have it. We've started telling the child "no" to dollar toys and junk because first, it takes away from the financial goals, and second, IT IS CLUTTER.

I recently read a book (found it at the library, but they do sell it on Overstock) called Miserly Moms -- how to survive on one income in a two-income world. I found it full of valuable advice, although some I won't use (like re-using food storage bags; not my thing). I liked it much better and found it more helpful than her other book, Frugal Families, which was mostly about traveling cheaply and other big-ticket item purchases and stuff. I also talked with my sister-in-law, who is one of the most frugal people I know. They had a rough December -- their van, washer, and washing machine all died. The awesome thing? They had enough money in their emergency fund to buy a new van, a new washer, a new washing machine, there was still money left in the emergency fund, and they still had Christmas (a 4-wheeler for the whole family -- which was paid for in cash -- not out of the emergency fund).

The irony here is that this brother of mine makes less money per year than all of us siblings (or in the two-income homes, than the sibling and spouse put together, although I'm not sure if this is the case anymore with our brother in Japan ... ). But they have NO debt -- including no student loans. They have been frugal and have saved and saved and saved, and his wife doesn't work outside the home. And they don't have the stress the rest of us do, because most of the rest of us have debt. Except the brother in Japan. They didn't have any last time I talked with them about this, too.

The good part is that all of us siblings are waking up and working on our debt problems.

As I sat there and discussed the book and our financial situation with my sweet husband, who has *never* had debt before, we agreed to a budget and a plan, and realized we could do better with the grocery bill and eating out. In January alone we spent over $100 on eating out -- and not anywhere fancy. That could have either gone into the emergency funds OR helped pay off one of the medical credit cards. We decided we could still eat out together once a month, but if we want to do anything else, we have to specifically earmark money for it and not go overboard.

We got engaged 9 months ago. Since then, we have bought a used car and paid for it in cash, and we've paid off about $2000 in debt -- and we never missed a payment on anything while I wasn't working or working full time. Those are good things. But, now that I'm back to work mostly full time and at about the production I was at before the surgery, and hubby is working full time again (he took some time here and there before the wedding to help me out), we decided we could do better. Cutting back on the grocery bill is one step; putting aside money deliberately before we spend any is another (it may not seem like much each time we put money aside, but in about 6 weeks, we have saved over $500 in various ways). As soon as we can get out of the loan, we are going to get rid of the Cruiser (*sniff*) but first we have to pay down the amount we owe on it since we owe more than we could sell it for ... BUT, we're paying off the 0% interest credit cards first (the 0% interest expires on both of them this summer; they were used to put medical bills on them from folks who wouldn't take payments).

I guess the moral here is that debt happens -- I certainly wasn't prepared to have major surgery last year, but had saved enough to pay a month's worth of bills, which we did use up while I wasn't working. I could have done better and saved enough to pay off the medical bills, but didn't know ahead of time what was going to happen, so spent it all instead. So, be frugal and save money. When and if debt does happen, pay it off as quickly as possible. Don't get a car loan if you can help it -- save for the car instead. Read books and talk to people you know who are successful at being frugal and thrifty, and do *your* best to be as frugal as *you* can be, taking what advice you can and will apply, letting go of the rest.

We may never be as thrifty as some people, but we can do better. And we can teach our kids to do things differently.