Sunday, March 7, 2010

Sometimes, you just have to cry to feel better

Not me, though that applies to me too, just not today.

Went to church and everything was great ... for about 45 minutes. We were a bit late, but Kiddo and Little Mister were behaving, and then Kiddo and her friend were helping with Little Mister, since I'm too tired to chase him all over. Unbeknownst to me, the friend was actually supposed to be sitting with her mom, but mom couldn't come and get her because her son was freaking out and having a serious meltdown.

We were sitting in the foyer (because the hard chairs in the chapel hurt me) and the kids were just fine. I was chatting with a friend about my trainer (she's her sister-in-law; the baby is here but still in the hospital due to complications), trying to ignore the headache I'd been having since I got up this morning, and suddenly I noticed my son's ball go up really high and get stuck in a light fixture.

Kiddo's friend threw it.

Little Mister didn't notice, and he's just fine. It wasn't his football (which is his woobie he sleeps with), so he is okay. Kiddo, however, is not.

I said something to the friend about how that wasn't nice, and she may not have done it on purpose, but throwing someone else's ball that high right next to a light is a bad idea. She nodded and I could tell she was trying not to cry. Kiddo had been quiet until right then and started in on her. "He just got that ball for Christmas! That was my favorite! I'm so mad at you!" Then she stomped off.

I told the friend I wasn't mad at her and she just broke down bawling. I gave her a big hug and repeated that I wasn't mad. "I can buy another one!" I told her it was okay, and she said, "Maybe the janitors can get it down!" I said, "We'll check in the lost and found in a couple weeks, okay?" She was okay, still sniffling, but gave me a hug, and went into her classroom, right next to where I was sitting.

Then kiddo came storming back, and I said, "You really hurt her feelings. You need to go apologize." So she went into the classroom and YELLED, "I'M SORRY!" right at her friend, who had her back to her and wouldn't acknowledge she was there. Came storming out. "There! I apologized."

"Um, no. You didn't. Apologies in a mean way do not count."

"YES, they DO!" Stomp stomp stomp. Yells at her again. Friend ignores her again. Stomp stomp stomp back to me. "She won't listen." Flounces into a chair. "STUPID!!"

"Get your stuff, we're going home."

"NO! Everyone hates me, especially YOU! It's TRUE!" I mean, the kid is nearly in hysterics by this point and shrieking at me right outside the chapel. I told her to sit down in the chair, keep her mouth shut, and not move, that I'd be right back. I found the friend's mom and told her what had happened, and that Kiddo was making it way worse with her attitude, so I was taking her home, and apologized that things got so out of hand. She seemed very understanding -- and she knows I really like her daughter, it was just one of those things kids just don't think about before they do.

I collected Kiddo (who, amazingly, had minded and stayed put in the chair). She was absolutely furious I didn't let her stay at church and didn't understand why I was making her sassy stomping self leave. She started crying in the car, and her brother started bawling, too. When I told her what her punishment is (staying in her room cleaning the rest of the day), she sassed me again, saying, "When you stop the car, I'm running right back over to the church!"

I said something I'm not proud of at that point and told her if she was going to do that, she could go live with her friend because she was disrespecting me so much and it was unacceptable.

She stayed, though she stomped her way into the house. I told her to throw her shoes away (high heels, hand me downs from her cousin, and she stomps in them every time she wears them) and she refused. She did take them off, and I chucked them into the DI box when she wasn't looking. Ahem.

So, she went to her room and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I put her brother down for his nap and came out to get her a Tylenol for the headache I was sure she was going to have and two for me for the headache I lost the fight with, and she emerged from her room, red faced and tear streaked and apologetic. "Can we go over to her house after church so I can really apologize?" "Nope, but you can call her after church. Okay?" She agreed that was a good plan, took the Tylenol, we discussed why I made her come home, and she heated up a bowl of chili, which she is currently slurping down.

Yeah ... preteens and her hormones added to MY hormones and migraine ... not a pretty combination. But she feels better after crying it off. I hope her friend is okay, too.


Kristina P. said...

Wow, you really need a virtual hug. Not a fun day at church!

The Boob Nazi said...

Man, motherhood is so hard!

stewbert said...

Thanks for the hug. :) Motherhood IS so hard. gahh.

she did call and apologize, and things are okay again. except little mister woke up from his nap after about 20 minutes and is now grouchy but won't go back to sleep and they are making so much noise I can't sleep. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

NG said...

I don't mean to make light of what I'm sure was a perfectly awful day - heaven knows, I've had more than my share of stomping girls this week so I totally feel for you - but I'm laughing so hard at her "When you stop the car, I'm running right back over to the church!" threat. Because every rebellious pre-teen knows that what really gets mom going is threatening to spend more time at church. Ha!

stewbert said...

NG, it makes me laugh NOW!! For sure! She LOVES going to church and cries the weeks we don't go. It's good, and it cracks me up. :)

musicmom said...

OH Esther--- You really are a great mom! It makes me a little nervous for when my princess grows up though.

Thanks for sharing, and making us all smile.

stewbert said...

Thanks. :) You have so much more patience than I do -- I'm sure you'll be fine.

kadyb said...

Sometimes a girl just needs a good stomp and a cry. Else door slamming may start. Hang in there!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Holy Cow. I might just lock Natalie in her room now. Maybe by preteen years, she will have lost her speech skills.