Brother's baby actually wasn't born until today, and he died as he was being delivered. Hubby was there, as they had asked him to go help give the baby a Priesthood blessing (church-related stuff), then he came home and cried and told me about him, and told me I needed to go and that he'd watch Mojo. I'm so glad I left the baby home -- SIL is doing okay until she hears a baby cry. Oy.

I don't know what all was wrong internally besides his heart being apparently too weak to sustain life, but his hands and feet were basically on upside down, and the back of his head was a bit misshapen, and he had a huge cyst on his spinal column.

The hospital dressed him in a beautiful gown and tiny little hat, and they had someone come in and take moulds of his hands and feet for casts of them. They were so great with my SIL and bro and their 3 living children -- took lots of pictures, made sure everyone got to hold him who wanted to, let them have lots of time with him. It was great; well, as great as something like that can be.

The service is tomorrow at the cemetery.

The best sound in the world after leaving the hospital was when I called hubby and Mojo was screaming his head off. So, I came home and held and fed my sweet baby and cried and cried, then we went shopping (trying to find a rocking chair), came home, and he and I had a nap.

Guess who woke me up? Small Fry. She called. Her gramma had called before we had the baby, asking for our address and telling us Small Fry wanted to write to her dad since she's afraid of him (what??), so we decided just to let her call or write when she was ready to. We got a letter yesterday saying her mom gave up the cell phone to get a place to live and to please forgive *Small Fry* for not calling because they have no phone. Honestly, the mind games that woman plays with her ... She's a kid; she doesn't need forgiveness for something out of her control. My stars. Anyway. She was calling from the daycare. We had a good conversation, told her that her brother was born, told her we'd send pictures as soon as we can, etc. She was really excited about it and asked some questions and made sure she talked to all of us and told us she loved us, each individually. It was a really good call. She seems like she's doing well and is happy, just worried we'd hate her over the phone thing. Gah.

My folks also called; they're back for the service. Hubby told me they were welcome to come see us any time they were here and to invite them because he realizes they need to be able to visit. My dad sounded really excited when I invited him over, and mom did too. Hubby tried to stay awake to see them, but he had a horrible dream earlier that the CPAP mask was digging into his head, and when he woke up, he'd put it on too tight and had grooves in his forehead. lol. so he didn't sleep long earlier and needed some rest before work, and they're not here yet, so he's in bed.

All in all, I'm feeling way better now than I have in days/weeks, the PPD is easing up (thankfully), and ... well ... we're all okay. So yay.

There's the update.