Preteens, oy

Yesterday --
Me: Do you like bologna?
Her: Yes!
Me: Okay, I'll get some [with our limited grocery budget this month because it's on sale and cheap!]

Today --
Her: [gets two slices of bologna out of the fridge and proceeds to maim them, not actually eat them]
Me: [after my lunch, I got out the Oreos and put a few on a plate for her and a few on a plate for me]
Her: I can't finish my bologna. Can I put my bologna away to eat AFTER I eat my cookies?
Me: What cookies? You don't get any cookies unless you eat the bologna you got out for yourself.
Her: WHY are you so MEAN to me? *sob* *wailing* *whining* *gnashing of teeth* I told you I CAN'T eat the bologna!
Me: You know the rule. Now I don't want to hear another word about bologna or cookies.
Her: *moan* *sob* *whine*
Me: That counts as words.
Her: I'm a bad girl!
Me: No, you're just being wasteful.
Her: Can I have put the cookies away to have after dinner?
Me: No. That was also another word. Go to your room.
Her: I'm so stupid! Bad girl!
Me: *sigh* You're not bad, but you will be in trouble if you keep it up and wake up your brother or your dad.
Her: *moan* *whine* *carrying on* all the way to her room, where she throws herself on her bed and continues.
Me: I'm not going to listen to this. [calmly shuts door]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Good thing the husband and I will both eat it, even if it's not our favorite. And good thing I only got two packages. BAH.