Wednesday, December 13, 2006

So, I'm still nauseated, still having cramps. Hubby asked me to wait until Friday and take another test then *if* I haven't started yet. This is oh, so much fun. But I'll wait because ... he's having a rough time right now and the possibility of pregnancy is freaking him out so much more. At least he's now talking like medication isn't evil and he might consider taking it -- and HE brought it up. So, I just have to be patient I suppose and hope we can find something that works and not something that makes him go, "Huh. One pill made me feel better. Wonder what the whole bottle will do." Yes, he ended up in the hospital over that one.

So, here's the rest of the ice scraper and rope joke. Merry Christmas! lol

Tips for gift-buying for the men on your Christmas list:

Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17, and he has yet tocomplain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No oneknows why.

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything withthe word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you throughwith my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer, or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy menbathrobes. If men really wanted to wear bathrobes, they wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money, buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave ordeodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

Rule #7: Buy men label makers. They are almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks, there will be labels absolutelyeverywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #8: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day, and he will always have parts leftover.

Rule #9: Good places to shop for men include Northern Tool, Lowes, Home Depot, John Deere, Harbor Freight, and NTB. NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."

Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook--but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #11: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."Everyone knows why.

Rule #12: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why-please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #13: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.

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