Friday, November 17, 2006

So, it's Friday night. Not date night in our house, I usually have to work. We picked up Munchkin from school and went to Costco and bought turkeys for Turkey Day next week for my family and my in-laws, and have now dropped off the turkeys at their respective houses for cooking.

Marriage. It's awesome, my husband is fabulous, but it's sure different than being single and just doing whatever the hell I want for the holidays. or any other day for that matter. lol. After discussions with hubby, parents, and sister, we decided we're eating with the in-laws, and mom and dad are eating at sister's house. We'll have the 'rents over for dinner another day during the week they're here, and we'll have a party of some sort one of the other days.

Part of the problem with the holiday and traditions and me cooking is that I have to work a full shift that day. I've not had to do that for 3 years, since my first Thanksgiving on this job. My old boss let me have it off every year, but I have a new boss this year and missed the boat with asking for the day off. (I did get Christmas off, which is more important in my mind, so it's all good).

I don't mind spending the holiday with the in-laws -- I like them, they're good to me, and it'll be interesting to see how Tongans celebrate a traditional American holiday. Thus far, whenever they've eaten in my presence, they hold back and don't eat as much as they typically do. I'm wondering if this trend will hold out on the biggest pigout fest Americans ever thought of. I'm making some dishes I know Munchkin will eat, and my sweet husband loves and says his family will enjoy, so hopefully it'll work out all right. Cheesy hashbrowns (similar to Cracker Barrel's dish by the same name), crustless sweet potato pie with a streusel topping, dressing, pumpkin pie, and broccoli. The broccoli is an effort to provide something besides turkey that hubby can "legally" eat during the last 3-4 weeks of his body-building competition. Whatever else they prepare, I know Munchkin will be fed and we'll share some of the foods we love with our new family. I'm actually looking forward to spending some time with them.

One of the things that this Thanksgiving and the preparation going into it has illustrated to me is just how awesome my husband is, our marriage is. The discussions have been peaceful, loving, no drama at all. In fact, even the times we have argued, he's only ever raised his voice once in my presence and it wasn't directed at me (or Munchkin). No drama, no yelling, no name calling. Just respect and love even in a disagreement or misunderstanding. And the discussion about where to spend Turkey Day really was that: A discussion. Not a demand or a tyrant telling me what we'd be doing or vice versa, but a mutual discussion. I sure do love my husband.

Holidays were HELL when I was married the first time -- fights, drama, yelling, name calling, throwing things ... and that was before we ever left the house to see either of our families. Once his nutso relatives got involved, it was a million times worse. I avoided his family as much as possible living in a small town, but at the holidays, we always at least saw them. After 3 hellish Turkey Days and Christmases, I dreaded the holidays and was glad I got out that October, just before Halloween. That Thanksgiving was really hard -- it was my wedding anniversary and my family didn't understand just how important the traditions we'd had growing up were to me on that particular day and I couldn't explain it, so instead of the traditional dinner, we went out to eat. I cried the whole time. I enjoyed the time with my family and the movie we saw that day, but missed Mom's dressing and cranberry relish and the other things we traditionally ate that day that I hadn't been able to enjoy for the 3 years prior. Since then, we've had a lot of good holidays, full of love and joy of being together, no matter if it was just my daughter, me, and my parents, or the whole clan, eating out or cooking up a storm, they were still good.

I love my family. I'm so thankful for them and their love and support the last 7 years especially. And I'm thankful for my new husband and new family and the good times we've had so far, and I look forward to many more good holiday seasons to come.

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