Okay, my job sucks sometimes, but at least it will *never* be this bad. Note: My boss denied emergency PTO this week for custody-related issues. I have been burnt out ever since. My job is still *not* this bad.

*****

Are you having a "jellyfish bad day"?

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this, you may be in a coma!
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad day at work ... think of this guy:

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
On FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , which was sponsoring a Worst Job Experience Contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sis,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit
to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of
the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this
sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no
complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods
my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but
I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jelly fish bad day!

Happy Monday!

Oh ... hysterical. I completely forgot about the little elouai doll I made last week and the fact that I said I want my hair cut like that until this morning, when I came to my blog to post what I did this weekend ... and then I started giggling.

I dyed my hair black Saturday night. It sure got hubby's attention. He lurves it.

Okay, so I didn't cut it short. I probably won't for a LONG time cut it short, but it *is* black.

See, Friday I put my hair up to go run some errands and then looked at the back of my head in the mirror ... and saw ROOTS. Like ... the blonde and red highlights had grown out and there were ROOTS. And decided they had to go away. And thought about cutting it, but remembered hubby likes long hair (because, well, he's a man), and remembering the talk we had about WHY Polynesian men want their women to keep long hair. It's a status symbol for both man and woman if her hair is kept long. Well, my hair is past my shoulders, but I thought that he wanted me to have super duper long hair, like down to my butt long hair. So while we were at the grocery store, I brought it up and mentioned that my stylist had suggested I get extensions. He was like, "No! Your hair is the perfect length!" hehehe ... he insists he's said that before, but somehow I missed it.

Anyway. Saturday, while he was "napping" before our date, I went over to Walmart and got a box of black dye, picked up some videos, made dinner, watched Zoom with munchkin (cute show), put kiddo to bed, then dyed my hair, had a bubble bath, shaved my legs, and blowed my hair out straight ... he woke up and he was like ... "Wow, you look good." Yeah ... totally worth it.

And so many people commented on it at church -- mostly women, but my home teacher (!) said something too. He's sort of ... metrosexual ... yeah. That's a good word for him.

So, there's my weekend. Dyed my hair, wowed hubby, spent time with kiddo, went to church, and now it's Monday and I'm back to work. Again.

Zoom was good -- I really enjoy Tim Allen. And Courtney Cox was funny -- even if she did remind me of Monica, which character was my *least* favorite on Friends when I did watch it.

p.s. I think I'm going to look for a new job. Except Saturday marked my 4th anniversary and that means I now accrue nearly 7-1/2 hours of PTO every 2-week pay period. so, it's still a toss up, but i really hated last week at work.

Yep! Friday Fave Five!!!!

No theme this week, just random thoughts.

1. Airborne, pink grapefruit flavor. Any time hubby or kiddo get the sniffles, I'm guzzling this stuff, and I haven't gotten sick nearly as much as them ... even with copious amounts of making out with hubby. Skip the other flavors though, esp. the hot apple whatever ick.

2. Paying off debt and building savings. Still working on this miss frugal thing, but talking with frugal people and reading books have helped a ton lately.

3. Baskin Robbins sugar free candies. Aspartame free hard candy goodness. Helping my sweet tooth a LOT.

4. Lysol spray in Crisp Linen scent, and Lysol foaming cleanser. Keeps the bathroom squeaky clean when I'm only up to spraying rinsing, and not scrubbing. Picked up the cleanser at Costco -- love the stuf.

5. COOKIES! My lurve sugar cookies and chocolate chip cookies and PB choc bars ... see item #3 for combating this problem.

This is truly frightening in its accuracy.

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love. You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't? You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Irony.

After I posted yesterday, I did shower and got dressed (with a BRA!!!) and did my face and hair. After picking up munchkin from the bus stop, a friend came over and we went for another walk. Hubby came home before we got back, and, well, after dinner I told him how I'd been feeling and WHY, and that I need to hear him still tell me I'm beautiful and sexy and stuff ...... y'know what? He's a great guy and told me all that ... repeatedly ... We had a good talk. :) Anyway. I do feel much more sexy today. So ...

The irony is this, my yahoo! horoscope today: You are feeling good, and your intense positive energy is boosting your sex appeal.

That's for dang sure. Woooo! lol

Happy 50th post!

So, I had a really bad morning this morning. Until I figured out why. Bad body image.

I saw my first boyfriend at Wal-Mart yesterday. He didn't see me and I definitely didn't say anything to him -- it felt weird to see the first guy who ever saw me naked, esp. since I now weigh 100 pounds more than I did way back then (13 years ago). Yeah. That was weird. After I drove out of the parking lot, I didn't think another thought about it until this morning.

But I probably should have told hubby, especially considering some girls at work are hitting on him again. He feels guilty every time and tells me about it, which is okay (I'd rather know than not, and it's an indication he's not gonna cheat 'cuz he's letting me know it happened and made him uncomfortable). But then this morning, I got feeling all ... fat.

So, I clocked out of work and swiped kiddo's MP3 player (*note* must get hubby to take off some of those rated R songs!) and went for a walk twice around the neighborhood, then instead of OD'ing on leftover garlic mashed potatoes for lunch, I made a turkey sammy on whole wheat bread with butter lettuce, a thinly sliced gala apple, and mustard ... so good ... whoa.

Now I'm getting back to work and feeling better. The surgery sort of took the sexy out of me -- couldn't wear normal bras for a long time, and they still hurt sometimes, and I was wearing bras that made me FLAT up top (which is soooooooo not normal). And, well, try feeling sexy when you have a migraine or are in so much pain or so tired you cry all the time. Yeah ... But here I am, married to this amazing guy who loved me through it all ... And I fully intend to continue bringing SEXY me back into the bedroom for my husband instead of feeling frumpy and never bothering with my hair and/or makeup.


and this cracked me up. i sure hope i get to keep him! hehehehehehe.

You Are 49% Scary

You're a pretty normal, nice girl... but you definitely have your scary moments. As long as you acknowledge them and apologize, you'll probably keep your guy around.

Do You Scare Off Men?

this also cracked me up. between this and the above, one might think I'm schizophrenic. and so am I.

You are White Chocolate

You have a strong feminine side with a good bit of innocence thrown in. Whether your girlish ways are an act or not, men like to take care of you. You are an understated beauty, and your power is often underestimated!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Today is my day "off". I told hubby only a few of the things on the following list that need to get done (they are the double starred items). He kind of freaked out and instructed me not to wear myself out. I told him I was going to sleep as soon as I got home.

**Drop by Macey's grocery store and pick up any on-sale meat we can use (they mark it down the morning before the day it must sell -- we freeze it and are saving money this way)
**Wally's -- must pick up RX so I can go to the dentist (my heart condition requires I take antibiotics before any dental work); also need cake mix to make cake for hubby's home teaching family (mom has a birthday today)
**Social Security office -- must change name so I can file my taxes
*Sister's house -- pick up step-daughter's flower girl dress from the wedding
*Xpedx -- need envelopes so i might actually mail the thank yous from the wedding
**Dentist -- need to get a permanent crown today
**Post Office -- ship box to step-daughter, which box will include her Valentine's presents from us; also ship squishes to alana and mail the bills
*Bank -- Kiddo lost two teeth last week, needs to put half of her tooth fairy money in savings; also need to deposit money from hubby to cover a check he had me write over the weekend
*Library -- drop off books
*Home: Make the cake and go to bed

erm, yeah. that sounds like a day off to me. ha. when i'm conscious again, i'll let you know how it went.