Christmas SURVEY!

Swiped it from Bobbie. Thought it might get me in the mood ...

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate. Egg nog makes me gag unless it's diluted with milk or sprite, but I still prefer hot chocolate.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Most are wrapped, unless they're in a stocking or too bulky/big to wrap.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? I prefer white, but I think my tree that *isn't* broken is colored ...

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nope, don’t need any (ditto) (hehehe! me too)

5. When do you put up your decorations? I used to follow my mom's tradition of putting them up on Black Friday or the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend, but since I got married ... it's not set in stone. Probably ought to do it next weekend though.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Oh boy ... I just like food. Right now, I'm craving more sweet potato casserole ... might have to make more ... I love the honeybaked ham thing we buy once a year (costco's is the best next to the real HBH, but the costco one costs a lot less), cheesy potatoes, any of the homemade goodies I made most years ... toffee ... mmmmm ...

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: I dunno. My folks always tried to make them special, even when they were broke. I still find myself doing things just because that's the way they did things. Like oranges and peanuts in stockings -- only we skip the peanuts, and I changed to chocolate oranges because our Munchkin won't eat oranges! hehehe

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't remember.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yep, from Babushka.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? With ornaments and lights. How do you do it? (lol)

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Need it! It better start snowing soon or we will have a bad summer next year. (no kidding)

12. Can you ice skate? Yeah, but not like figure skating ...

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I think it was my digital camera last year from Hubby. Or the year I got to tell my family I was expecting Munchkin ... or her first Christmas the next year. That was a blessed Christmas. I was single, and broke, and didn't have a coat. Someone in the ward dropped off a card just before Christmas with $200 in cash in it and a note to buy a coat for myself, signed "a sister in the Gospel." Never found out who it was, but THAT was awesome.

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Being with family and friends (ditto)

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Pumpkin pie this year. Or the sweet potatoes ... dang. I like GOOD food. The things I only make at Christmas, like shortbread, toffee, peppermint chocolate, toffee cookies, pumpkin bars and rolls ... Yeah, anything GOOD.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Reading Luke 2 and Babushka (thanks Kirstie) Christmas Eve.

17. What tops your tree? ... An angel, but I need a new one.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Honestly, I'm really bad at giving gifts to certain people. Everything I've given my mother has been dubbed "cheesy" (not necessarily by her). I've bombed out on my gifts to my husband, although I'm hoping the darn massage mat goes over well.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? I like most of them, but one of my favorites is Candlelight Carol -- have sung it with my mom several times.

20. Candy Canes? Yes

21. Do you feel Christmas is too commercialized? It can be. I try not to make it that way at our house.

Owie.

Munchkin called me about 20 minutes ago with a really bad migraine, crying her eyes out. So I picked her up. As we're leaving the school, she tells me it's not a migraine (what???) but her head does hurt really bad 'cuz a kid on the playground was running really fast and smacked into her, skull into her cheekbone. OWIE. She's had ibuprofen and has ice on it, and she's snuggled up in the corner in my office on a little mattress with blankies and my jacket watching a movie with headphones on. Oy.

And I just wanted to point out there is some irony in the below post about my sweet husband and our relationship. I posted it on a day that usually has me in hysteria -- it was the day I married my ex 10 years ago. There's a date in October that gets me the same way ... don't remember reacting that day either, and it's usually worse for me! I didn't even remember until Monday when I started working and realized that both dates had passed. This is very good progress!!!!!

Happy 200th post! A survey!

Who eats more? DH, I'm sure ...
Who said "I love you" first? He did.
Who weighs more? I think it's a toss up.
Who sings better? ME!!!
Who’s older? Me
Who’s smarter? We both have our strengths. And our weaknesses
Whose temper is worse? Um ... yes?
Who does the laundry? mostly me, some DH.
Who does the dishes? mostly me, some DH.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Me
Who plays golf better? I don't think either of us plays.
Who’s better with the computer? Probably him in some ways, me in others.
Who pays the bills? Me
Who cooks dinner? Me
Who drives when you are together? Usually him, unless he's really tired
Who pays when you go out to dinner? He does.
Who is the most stubborn? Definitely not me.
Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? He is, since he's always wrong. Just kidding. I think he does well admitting when he's wrong ... and he admits when I'm wrong.
Whose parents do you see more? His
Who named your pet? We don't have one
Who kissed who first? Hubby.
Who asked who out? Our first date my BIL and sis asked us out. After that, it was all him.
Who’s more sensitive? Yes.
Who’s taller? Hubby
Who has more friends? um ... me?
Who has more siblings? It's a tie, unless you don't count his brother who passed away in infancy. Then I win.
Who wears the pants in the relationship? We're not perfect, but we try to give and take. Of course, he knows to keep me happy and not crying I have to get my way sometimes, but at the same time, he gets his way and gets quite spoiled. His dad told me I spoil him too much, his life is too good now, but then in the same breath said thanks because who knows where he would be if he hadn't married me. lol

*happy dance*

Just had my first +OPK test. Ever. I'd quit using them in July when I ran out since I never got a dark test line. I'm almost as excited as if it was a pregnancy test, but hey, at least I'm gonna ovulate!!! Happy happy joy joy joy, trying to wait another hour to tell hubby when he asked me to wake him up for the day instead of waking him up early. lol

All I want for Christmas ...

So, shopping for hubby for Christmas or birthdays or anything is really hard. I love seeing when he's happy, but I have failed miserably a couple of times with gifts. BUT he is getting a massage pad for his computer chair for Christmas. It's the only thing he's ever specifically asked for, so I bought it and hid it a couple of weeks ago. Then today he came in the bedroom and said, "Y'know what I really want for Christmas?" Enter my heart sinking, just knowing he was going to ask for power tools or something. "I want you to take the money and spend it on yourself." WHAT??? "I love watching you and Munchkin on Christmas, opening gifts and being so happy, and I have everything I need and want in you and Munchkin. We have a house, clothes, food, jobs ... I don't want anything else." What a sweetie. I told him tough cookies, I'd already bought his gift, but that he totally made my day. :)

HAPPY 100 POSTS!

And the Clomid Crazies continue ...

So I had an appointment for laser hair removal today. It's never fun, and I never do it near my period because the hormones make you more sensitive to the laser. We did that once, and I decided never again.

Well, guess what?

Clomid makes your body's hormones go a bit wacky, too. I *CRIED* through the first 5 minutes, so she stopped and said, "we can reschedule for next month." I was like, "okay. *sniff*" Yeah. I've never cried before. She is 7 months pregnant and said, "Well, honey, with the Clomid, you have more hormones going through you than I do right now." She's an APRN who used to work at planned parenthood. lol. So yeah. She knows. She marked today as "no treatment" and rescheduled for the week before Christmas. Hopefully I get pregnant and won't be able to go in, but damn, that was the worst one EVER, including the treatment where I ended up BURNED.

I called hubby, and he was somewhat sympathetic and apologized (since I'm doing the hair removal at his request and expense), then I went to Costco with my DisGrace, Dizzy, and Bru, and by the time I got home, I was near hysterical. Hubby gave me a hug and when I burst into tears, he very gently said, "why don't you have a nap?" yeah. sweet, huh? And he told me last night when he did finally wake up that he loves being married to me and is thankful we've stuck it out and feels like things are settling down now. geeze, enter Clomid Crazies. I slept, but then got mad when I woke up because he said he was going to bed and I had asked earlier if we'd get to spend some time together. We didn't get our date this weekend because he slept through the time we were going to, and then he got mad at me Sunday night for not waking him up for a movie (I *tried*, but he was too stinking tired and told me to let him sleep some more). Anyway. I picked up kiddo and we went to the store for a couple of things (shudder, i hate grocery shopping the week of thanksgiving). When I got home, he was in bed but not asleep, just depressed, and I apologized for being nuts, told him how much I hate Clomid, and he said, "you're just so confusing right now!" I laughed and said, "Imagine how it feels being on this side of things." He laughed too. I *think* we're okay -- we kissed and made up, and he seems to be sleeping well. But man ... Clomid is of the devil. At least it's not like the IUD with everyone telling me I shouldn't be feeling any side effects from the hormones. With the Clomid, everyone goes, "Man, that has bad side effects," including the APRN at the laser removal place who then said, "do you need a doctor's note for work? i'll write one!" LOL.

At any rate. Hoping it does the trick this cycle ... if not, I think we'll work on the testing side of things in January when our flex spend can help cover things. BUT ... I just have to have faith in the revelations I've had and the Priesthood blessings I've been given that promise I'll have more children ... when it's time. Sitting in church Sunday, the thought came to mind that if the Lord promises something, it WILL happen if we are living worthily. So I have some work to do, and sometimes the Lord needs us to play an active part in making those promises come to pass, but I will have more kids. When it's time.

Clomid Crazies, Continued

So I had an appointment for laser hair removal today. It's never fun, and I never do it near my period because the hormones make you more sensitive to the laser. We did that once, and I decided never again.

Well, guess what?

Clomid makes your body's hormones go a bit wacky, too. I *CRIED* through the first 5 minutes, so she stopped and said, "we can reschedule for next month." I was like, "okay. *sniff*" Yeah. I've never cried before. She is 7 months pregnant and said, "Well, honey, with the Clomid, you have more hormones going through you than I do right now." She's an APRN who used to work at planned parenthood. lol. So yeah. She knows.

I called hubby, and he was somewhat sympathetic and apologized, then I went to Costco with my DisGrace, Dizzy, and Bru, and by the time I got home, I was near hysterical. Hubby gave me a hug and when I burst into tears, he very gently said, "why don't you have a nap?" yeah. sweet, huh? And he told me last night when he did finally wake up that he loves being married to me and is thankful we've stuck it out and feels like things are settling down now. geeze, enter Clomid Crazies. I got mad when I woke up because he said he was going to bed and I had asked earlier if we'd get to spend some time together. We didn't get our date this weekend because he slept through it, and then he got mad at me Sunday night for not waking him up for a movie (I *tried*, but he was too stinking tired and told me to let him sleep some more). Anyway. I picked up kiddo and we went to the store for a couple of things (shudder, i hate grocery shopping the week of thanksgiving, which is why i went shopping last week, but got a phone call and an email asking for a couple more things for thanksgiving and flowers and money for Santa). When I got home, he was in bed but not asleep, just depressed, and I apologized for being nuts, told him how much I hate Clomid, and he said, "you're just so confusing right now!" I laughed and said, "Imagine how it feels being on this side of things." He laughed too. I *think* we're okay -- we kissed and made up, and he seems to be sleeping well. But man ... Clomid is of the devil. At least it's not like the IUD with everyone telling me I shouldn't be feeling any side effects from the hormones. With the Clomid, everyone goes, "Man, that has bad side effects," including the APRN at the laser removal place who then said, "do you need a doctor's note for work? i'll write one!" LOL.

In other news, Santa fell down the stairs and broke his leg. Munchkin kept asking me when we were going to visit, so we went today after school. He's a friend of my dad's -- they worked together at the prison for a long time, and he has the long white beard and plays Santa every year for children in hospitals and family Christmas parties, including ours. He gave us a really nice waffle iron for the wedding (which, oh boy, I think I'm making waffles this weekend) and has come to every family event we've had lately. He told me today he asked my MIL if she was hubby's sister and he thinks he offended her with that. I laughed. I plan to ask her Thursday. hehehe.

We're having Thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws on Thursday, then another one Friday with my siblings. It'll be fun. Or at least tasty. Our families don't have all that much drama these days -- it's the fireworks at home that keep me on my toes. I do have the one brother-in-law who is schizophrenic, but he's even more stable and cognizant of his surroundings whenever we're there now, and MIL told me today he just keeps doing better. So that's all good. :)

Hugs and happy Turkeys.

An update

Again with the foot zones. This one wasn't as bad. Last week was excruciating since I had just started my period, but wow, this one only hurt where she was being more aggressive with the trigger points. She did tell me just to keep trying to get pregnant since everything was looking better and she's not worried about risking an ectopic, so that made me feel better. I did tell her we tried Clomid (didn't tell her I took my last dose this morning) and she didn't really say anything about it. So there's that.

Had such a bad day Tuesday with hubby's bipolar crash and my being mean to him and moody and irritable ... made his crash worse, but he couldn't bring himself to leave Her Royal PITA and go to work that night. (note: i didn't show him the gijoe thing ...) My CNM wrote him a note to excuse him for missing work. So yeah. Kind of strange for a man to take a note to work to excuse a missed day from a midwife when his wife isn't having a baby, but whatever. He just has missed a lot of work this year and has to take a note in if he misses anything for the next few months.

Work is okay -- Boss is out of town, I'm in a new account on a new platform, trying to remember everything. Still messing up sometimes, but hey, that's life. At least I have a job, hubby has a job, the bills are getting paid (even if one or two are late ...). It's better to be here and not freaking out than having extra money and still freaking out about lack of money (like I did all last year ...). GAH. We're doing okay though. Still intending to list the house in the spring, hoping it sells quickly, which is iffy in this market. But ... if/when I do get PG, the work sitch has got to change. *sigh*

So there's an update.

AUNTIE VOODOO #5

Again with the foot zones. This one wasn't as bad. Last week was excruciating since I had just started my period, but wow, this one only hurt where she was being more aggressive with the trigger points. She did tell me just to keep trying to get pregnant since everything was looking better and she's not worried about risking an ectopic, so that made me feel better. I did tell her we tried Clomid (didn't tell her I took my last dose this morning) and she didn't really say anything about it. So there's that.

Had such a bad day Tuesday with hubby's bipolar crash and my being mean to him and moody and irritable ... made his crash worse, but he couldn't bring himself to leave Her Royal PITA and go to work that night. My CNM wrote him a note to excuse him for missing work. So yeah. Kind of strange for a man to take a note to work to excuse a missed day from a midwife, but whatever. He just has missed a lot of work this year and has to take a note in if he misses anything for the next few months.

Work is okay -- Boss is out of town, I'm in a new account on a new platform, trying to remember everything. Still messing up sometimes, but hey, that's life. At least I have a job, hubby has a job, the bills are getting paid (even if one or two are late ...). It's better to be here and not freaking out than having extra money and still freaking out about lack of money (like I did all last year ...). GAH. We're doing okay though. Still intending to list the house in the spring, hoping it sells quickly, which is iffy in this market. But ... if/when I do get PG, the work sitch has got to change. *sigh*

So there's an update.

Not a good day

I feel as if I were a child's plaything, a toy, possibly a GI Joe from the dollar store, to be played with for a week, maybe two. Then a new toy or game will snag your attention, and I'll be dropped in the dust under your bed, soon dismissed from your memory as if I had never existed. Then the next time you want a few minutes with GI Joe, or need something to remind you of the good times you had, you'll look for me and search until you find me, dust me off, and you'll play with me as long as I can hold your attention. Even if GI Joe needs to save the world, I stick with you when you need me. But then something else shiny and new shows up, you're gone again, and I'm left in some long-forgotten corner of your closet with shoes that are no longer worn, an outdated computer, a jiu jitsu uniform that was worn twice, and other remnants of your past.

*****

I hate Clomid. Moody, hot flashes, tired ... but if it gets me pregnant (y'know, with hubby's help if he gets off the computer long enough to give me the rest of the baby-making ingredients), I'll quit complaining.

CLOMID

Took my second dose of the stuff this morning, and I've been burning up all day. Can't decide if it's the bug we still have or the medicine, but whatever. It's November and I want the AC on! hehehe

W00T!!!!

Got an email from my boss yesterday directed to the whole team. We have to get permission to work Thanksgiving and Christmas apparently -- which means I might get them both OFF for the first time. To get people to volunteer, they are offering an incentive, but they already filled the spots for the one account I wouldn't mind working on the holidays (I edit/proof that account). So yeah. I've already been given permission to have Black Friday and that Saturday off. If I can have Thanksgiving off, that'd be awesome -- hubby is off that whole weekend, too. I haven't gotten approved for the two days after Christmas, but I'm still hopeful I will -- they never have enough work the week of holidays. Ever. Even though we're behind right now, we'll be caught up shortly. So yeah. YAY for holidays off!

Auntie Voodoo #4

Saw her yesterday -- lotsa pain. Guess having a period makes it worse. My cramps didn't let up until late last night, but at least they're gone for now! While I was there, my cousin called. Her husband has some teeth that are abscessed and his whole left side of his face swelled up -- she needed her mom to watch their kids, but they also needed another Priesthood holder to help Auntie's husband give him a blessing. So I called DH and he came, even though he's also sick (fluish). Awww ...

Today's TMI

When I started getting body acne last week, I got a huge one on my boob. it got bigger and grosser and hurt REALLY BAD and infected apparently, since it just drained and was NOT a zit, but an INGROWN HAIR. Gah. Sometimes I hate being Lebanese.

I also started my period. Insane cramps, lotsa pain, Midol not touching it. *whine* *whine* *whine* *whine* *whine* *whine* *whine* *whine*

*sniff*

Period showed up this morning. On to the next cycle. Had a meltdown a couple days ago but I'm okay today. Going to drop off my Clomid RX this morning and get that going this week. Maybe we'll get twins.

BFN first thing this morning -- no period, nauseated, huge boobs, acne like crazy, smells make me sick, etc., but still having really bad cramps (5 days in a row). So the negative test is a struggle for me. I've been crying much of the day -- makes it hard to work that way, but ever so grateful I work at home.

Hubby was very sweet when I burst into tears just now. He hugged me and said, "think happy thoughts; it'll help your body do what it's supposed to. invite the Spirit honey." I sure love him. Even on his bad days. And especially on mine.

Another Week

Training actually wasn't that bad after all. I feel like I had a mini-vacation. lol. I trained last wed and thur, worked fri, and had saturday off for hubby's birthday.

Hubby turned 30 and realized it made him feel old, but when I turned 30 just 18 months ago, he told me I wasn't old. but now he knows how I felt! lol. We watched Bee Movie (which was good, if a bit political/granola), then had Chinese for dinner. He played WoW a good bit, which is fine. Sunday I wasn't feeling well and he had been up half the night being sick, and it was "baby Sunday" at our ward, so we didn't go to church. We were feeling better in the afternoon, so we did, however, take 3 racks of ribs (basted with a rub, slow cooked at 300 for 3 hours, then glazed with Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce and roasted at 250 for 2 more hours), homemade baked beans (in the crockpot), and 2 buttermilk pies to his parents' house for dinner. It's what he wanted for his birthday. I wasn't gonna argue; he wanted to get out of the house. We made 4 racks and (oh my gosh) he and I shared the fourth for lunch today. Delish.

Kiddo was determined she needed to buy a present for daddy, so we went to the store friday and went shopping. I asked if she wanted to look at the toys and she gave me "the look". "He needs tools mom!" So she bought him screwdrivers. (the computer was the gift from his brother and me).

I'm so sick right now. *sigh* I need to work and was all excited to get to it tonight, but here I am, feeling gross and not wanting to. Owell, gonna anyway.

Started having cramps a couple days ago, like heavy enough I should be having my period, but I'm not. They lasted for like 12 hours, and when I woke up yesterday morning, they were gone. They've come and gone a few times since then. *sigh* This whole process is just rather sucky.

I was really frustrated last night, tired, not feeling well, etc. Apparently I have a tummy bug which kept me running to the bathroom for a while. I had hubby give me a blessing, which helped my mood immensely, and let me know it'll happen when it's supposed to, and I'll understand why when it does happen. So ... I try to be patient, but it's hard when I'm wanting a beautiful little Polynesian baby right now. :)

At any rate, I keep charting and temping and loving my family, being grateful for my awesome kid and stepkid, and my fantabulous hubby.

*mwah*