Infertility

Saw the midwife this morning. She's a certified nurse midwife (CNM) who works in an OB/GYN office attached to a hospital. I really like her -- my mom really likes her, hubby likes her but says it's most important I feel comfy with her.

We talked about the past 8 months of TTC (trying to conceive). They don't think I'm truly ovulating every month since the my stripe on the hormone test strips isn't as dark as the control stripe, so I'm probably surging, but not enough to trigger ovulation every month. She wants me to try Clomid for one cycle and see what happens, and if I'm not pregnant by the time my December period is due, I'm s'posed to go back in for testing. I'm comfy with that plan. I haven't told hubby the plan yet since he's finally sleeping. I'll tell him later.

I didn't tell her what Auntie Voodoo said about my tubes or anything, and I don't intend to tell Auntie about the plan with the Clomid. Auntie Voodoo told me to wait a few more months, but the longer we wait, the more urgent I feel like we're not supposed to be waiting. BUT because I'm too late in my month to start the Clomid this month, she has a few more weeks to do her majick before I take the Clomid.

And as DisGrace put it, maybe it'll get me twins and I can be done being pregnant that much sooner, and I'm comfy with that too -- Boy howdy it'd be hard, but I'm so ready to have a baby ...

I don't intend to really get into to much detail on the blog about this every month, but wanted to post the plan for now for all who are curious. There ya go.

Innie versus Outie

In typing a medical report today, I had to look up the spelling of "innie" just to be sure I was correct in my spelling of this slang term. Yep, really.

While doing so, I ran across a website for people with belly button fetishes ... and soon found myself wanting a survey on BELLY BUTTONS.

Hi, I'm Stewie, and I'm a survey addict.

So, is yours innie or outie and do you prefer either in the opposite gender?

Mine's an innie, hubby's is an innie, and I rather like it, tyvm.

Seven Deadly Sins

WRATH
Who did you last get angry with? Hubby
What is your weapon of choice? Silence
Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Have
How about the same sex? Have
Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Hubby
What is your pet peeve? whining
Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? Depends on the topic at hand. but I usually try to let it go.

SLOTH
What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't? Cleaning my house
What is the latest you've ever woken up? In the last year, probably 10
Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? Jen and/or Stephanie
What is the last lame excuse that you made? This isn't a good time
Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? Yes.
How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning? Once

GLUTTONY
What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Um ... I don't drink them anymore, but I do make chocolate breakfast drinks and add either coffee-flavored or chocolate cherry flavored ginseng juice. tastes like an iced mocha.
Are you a meat eater? Yes
What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? I don't recall, probably several screwdrivers
Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits? I no longer drink alcohol, so that's covered, but I do eat too much, although I am also working on that.
Do you enjoy candy and sweets? YES.
Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods? SWEETS.
Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"? EWWW.

GREED
How many credit cards do you own? ... *counting* 5 or 6, but only two have balances, and one of them is medical.
If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? Tithing, bank, house, bank, clothing, bank, brand freaking new Town and Country with the revolving seats and the kidtainment system. --- hahahaha ... DITTO
Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich. -- Ditto
Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks? Yeah.

PRIDE
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of? Being a success as a single mom, with a happy, well-adjusted child, owning a home and paying the bank for a car, and then meeting a great man and still having all of the above. And staying true to the gospel. hehe.
What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of? Probably the same.
What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life? Possibly going back to college.
Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Depends.
Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Probably
Have you ever cheated to get a better score? Probably
What did you do today that you're proud of? ... oy. I am a diva -- the choir director asked me to sing in the choir (apparently, I need an engraved invite), because they needed a soprano. Well. It was a descant no one else in the choir could do, and during the last verse, Munchkin and hubby could hear me over the choir/organ/piano. And they were sitting in the very back row. Not that I was louder than the whole choir, just my voice carried very well, and everyone complimented me. One person (hehe) told me I'm opera material which just made me laugh. Ahem. Moving on.

LUST
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)? ... three or four ...
How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)? three or four ...
Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation? yeah.
What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice? my husband's butt
Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons? not at the same time, no. -- ditto
Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? No.

ENVY
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own? item... or body ...
Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? I have no idea.
If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be? I'd still be me. -- ditto
Have you ever been cheated on? Yes, I think.
Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Hello.
What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? high metabolism -- ditto

What deadly sin...
Do you do the most often? Envy
Do you do the least often? Greed or Wrath
Is your favorite to act on? Lust

Fave Five

So, I realize I haven't done this in for-freaking-ever. But here's my five fave things from this week:

1. Oranges. I'd forgotten how much I love them. I get to eat a lot of them these days.

2. A rational discussion with mamabear about politics -- it was brief, but nonetheless there were a lot of things we (surprisingly) agreed on, and no one hurt anyone else's feelings.

3. My boss asking me to proof 20-25 hours a week (during my night shifts and on Saturdays) and type the rest of the time. My wrists and hands are already happier, and I'm able to focus more mostly, so I'm making more money per hour again. Yay.

4. The time I have spent one-on-one with my husband.

5. Cuddling Munchkin and watching Twitches Too (Disney channel movie) and the premiere of their new series. Mostly just kicking back with her is the best.

I wouldn't say I *enjoyed* my zone treatment or the cardiologist appt Thursday, but at least they both gave me hope for my future health, so that's good, too. And being able to pay the bills but also have some fun with some of the money is also a bonus. YAY! Still budgeting, but doing a lot better.

Also got to chat with my SIL the other day, which was good. Her SIL (the one with the breast issues after her baby was born) is now home with her baby and doing much better. She has a long road of recovery ahead of her, but she's happy to be home and feeling better.

AND, if I were to include LAST week in my five for this week, I'd have to include time with CC and BA last weekend. It was good to see them -- even if I did act like I was on drugs. *mwah*

Survey! only ...

I changed/deleted some of the questions because they were STUPID. Who cares what kind of birth control I use or if I've gotten naked at a party or had sex in a very inappropriate place??? GAH.

1. Do you know anyone in prison? My ex may or may not be there.
2. Have you ever logged onto a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush's myspace? I don't know that I've ever logged onto myspace ...
3. When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? a few weeks ago.
4. Do you have a desk in your room? had one in my bedroom, but it is now back in my office!!!
5. What kind of car do you have? 2005 PT Cruiser. and a 1991 Exploder.
6. Are you named after one of your parents or grandparents? My middle name is my great-grandmother's maiden name.
7. Does your first significant other still live in the same town as you? Actually ... he lives in Highland or American Fork, which isn't that far from me. My brother and SIL see him once in a while. My second SO was his best friend (yes, really) and I think he still lives around here, too, but my family never "updates" me on him because they hated him, and the first one wasn't so bad.
8. Do you throw up gang signs? Uh, no.
9. Have you ever broken a rib? Nope.
10. Would you rather be a girl or a guy? As my mom pointed out when I was a teenager, I wouldn't want that "thing" to get stuck in my zipper. EVER.
11. Who is the most spoiled person you know? Probably my kids ... or me ...
12. Would you rather have a million dollars or true love? Why does this have to be a CHOICE? I want BOTH.
13. Do you watch the Grammys? No
14. Would you ever work for the border patrol? No
15. Which one word would describe your last/current relationship? hahahaha ... Awesome.
16. Would you rather date someone 2 years older than you or 20 years older? I've done both, would rather have my current husband than anyone, which is why we're married.
17. Have you ever had a eating disorder? Yep. Anorexia/bulimia as a teenager, overeating as an adult.
18. How many proms have you been to in your life? None. Got dumped by my then-boyfriend (the one my family hated) just before the prom.
19. Have you ever been in a interracial relationship? um ... yes ... I'm in an interracial marriage.
20. Is your birthday on a holiday? No, although sometimes Easter is close.
21. Are you old enough to vote? I'd dang well better be with an 11-yo and an 8-yo.
22. Do you have any friends or family in the war right now? Maybe? Hard to keep track of 50+ cousins.
23. Where are you? In my office.
24. Do you worry about global warming? Sometimes.
25. Do you like polar bears? Yes, especially the neurotic one at the Portland Zoo.
26. Have you ever been cheated on? Ex-husband claimed he didn't, but his family said he did.
27. Are you an atheist? NO.
28. Did or do you think your childhood dreams will come true? I'd like to think some of them will ...
29. Do/did you wear your sweetie's clothes? I have -- too bad I outgrew his HUGE jeans ...
30. What do you think of gold diggers? They get what they're looking for but will never be truly happy.
31. Are you a country or city girl/boy? a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll ...
32. Do you want to hit something? The creator of such a dumb/lame/13-yo girl survey.

Even easing into it this week and yesterday's junk fest, I'm down to 239.8 (fully clothed but no shoes), which is still less than I was a couple weeks ago before the period bloat. I feel pretty good, too. I'm planning to hit it a bit harder next week though, and try and start exercising again. Getting through some of the dairy this week so it doesn't go bad, then cutting that out next week, too. which will only help hubby with his goal to quit eating cheese, wince his body hates him when he does it and punishes him, even with lactaid. gah. Changed my tracker down there to reflect what I started at this week.

244.2 this morning, but uh, today was a very hard day and we ate out. Twice. JUNK FOOD. Crapola.

Had a foot zone treatment by my aunt today. She said we need to wait a few months while we work on the foot zones and the antiestrogenic diet (only she said no dairy for a few weeks, too) and exercising more. All of it should help my girlie parts function better before we try and get pregnant again. Apparently, she says that my tubes aren't normal: One has a blockage and the other is sort of mushy and flat. The sperm are getting through the mushy/flattish one, but the fertilized egg isn't moving back through fast enough to implant into the uterus in the limited time it has to do so. Which is why it's not every month I feel pregnant -- only one side is able to get the mommy part and daddy part together (which is sort of how I explained pregnancy to munchkin when I was single when she was a toddler and she kept asking for a baby brother or sister ... told her we needed a daddy for that, 'cuz we need daddy parts). Auntie is surprised we haven't had a tubal.

This last month was a replay of May, so we decided we needed to go ahead and try some stuff to see if I can get a bit healthier so we can bring our babies to this world. We've both seen them in dreams, so we know we're s'posed to have them. Off to the midwife next week for hormone checks. Yay me.

Hoping I keep feeling better with the dieting. Gotta exercise and take supplements, too, but I'm really doing MUCH better than I had been. Until today. But it's one day, not the end of the world.