Tales from the Evil Stepmother

Said really rapidly in a high-pitched nearly not understandable voice all at once: "What's that? What are you doing? Can I do that? What is that? How do you do that? What are you making? Can I help? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Yeah. I told her I can't understand her when she does this and I end up just staring at her blankly. She gets excited about something and still does it.

So I did it back today and she just started laughing hysterically.

Hubby can't figure out how I do my job with the hearing losses I have. I can turn the doctors' volume up and slow down their speech and REWIND at the push of a button or two, and if I get really desperate, I plug in the sound booster and make them even louder. And then if I still can't hear their mumbling, I send it to a proofer for help. I can't do that to the kids.

Sometimes I want a remote with buttons labeled as follows that I could point at the person (husband or child, depending on the button) and have them instantly obey without me having to say a word: "loving husband" "family time" "quality time" "kids asleep" "shhhhhhhhh" "grab my butt" "everyone leave me alone" "bubble bath" "i'm working go ask your father" "scripture time" "family prayer" "give me back the blankets dang it!"

*sigh*

I just remembered the nightmare I had after watching the Stepford Wives. In my nightmare, my husband turned me into a robot. My wishes up there though ... I guess that does make me the Stepford Husband, wanting a robot husband and children. *sniff*

Guess I'll just have to take them as they are: Imperfect, goofy, sweet, silly, infuriating, with minds of their own and attitudes to go along with them. But they're mine. And I'm theirs. And I guess I'm okay with that.