Just gimme a hug, tell me you love me, KEEP HUGGING ME, let me cry for a while, and we'll be okay.

That's the new lesson learned this week.

Newlywedhood is simultaneously wonderful, amazing, HOT, loving, awesome, incredible, did I mention HOT???, rocking my world, and an emotional sobfest where one or the other of us is crying and making life difficult for the other ... which sucks.

Part of that is getting married so late in life (hush, I know I'm not old), both of us expecting life to be run certain ways while getting used to living with someone with very different ideas. My sweetie says I need to be more Polynesian. I think he needs to be more Palangi*. Being laid back works to some extent, but not when the bills have to be paid and the kid has to get to school and we have appointments at certain times. In Poly-land, it's acceptable and expected to be late to anything and everything. Think Mormon Standard Time magnified by 10 or 20. There you have Poly Time. Please don't think I'm being racist -- I love my Poly relatives and yes, even their laid-backed-ness ... and I especially adore my sweet husband. Sometimes, though, the casual attitude ... gets to me.

I hate being late, have to pay the bills before they're due (he lets me do this -- hands me his paycheck, I say I'll pay the bills, and he asks if he gets to keep any of it. No.), and would rather be busy doing *something* most of the time than chilling constantly.

He says I don't know how to relax. He's right. There is only one time I'm truly relaxed ... and ... well ... that's part of the HOT, awesome, amazing, incredible, loving part of being a newlywed.

Then there's the rest of the time. I mean, you can only do the above so many times in one day/night/weekend. Things get sore after a while. The rest of the time, I still need a hug when he gets home from work. I still need face time to talk, even if we're both dead tired. I still need to cuddle, to hold his hand, to kiss his cheek, etc. etc.

The thing is, he needs that, too. He needs the hang out time, not just the bed time. He needs hugs, hand holding, talking, etc. etc. etc. But when he's tired, he just falls asleep before either of us get the hang out time we're used to having. And then I take things personally. And that creates problems. As soon as he hugged me last night after a two-hour "discussion," I felt instantly better. It's like a miracle pill.

So, sweetie, the lesson learned is, if I start acting psycho or cold or distant, STOP what you're doing and take me in your arms and just hold me. Kay??? Okay. Oh, and apologizing for whatever insensitive thing you may have said without realizing it wouldn't hurt.

*Palangi means white.

Disclaimer: My husband doesn't actually READ my blog, and he always apologizes when my feelings are hurt -- but ONLY IF I TELL HIM THAT I'M HURT AND WHY. He can't read my mind any more than I can read his! Go figure. This is posted for the benefit of all the other newlyweds in the world struggling through their first year or two or three, trying to figure out why they're not getting along except in the bedroom, and maybe those oldyweds who are struggling, too. And for those friends of mine who will be getting married someday. Here ya go. Try this! It works! lol.

personality test linked to from kip ... veddy intedestink.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 63% Stability 43% Orderliness 56% Accommodation 56% Interdependence 63% Intellectual 36% Mystical 50% Artistic 63% Religious 90% Hedonism 10% Materialism 43% Narcissism 56% Adventurousness 36% Work ethic 70% Self absorbed 56% Conflict seeking 30% Need to dominate 36% Romantic 70% Avoidant 43% Anti-authority 56% Wealth 23% Dependency 43% Change averse 56% Cautiousness 63% Individuality 50% Sexuality 90% Peter pan complex 36% Physical security 90% Physical Fitness 10% Histrionic 63% Paranoia 63% Vanity 70% Hypersensitivity 63% Female cliche 83%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot: expressive, open, self revealing, loves large parties, loud, social, outgoing, does not like social isolation, assertive, social chameleon, positive, always busy, likes to fit in, likes to stand out, enjoys leadership, brutally honest, trusting, optimistic, desires attention, dominant, aggressive, attachment prone, wants to be understood, realistic

Black Friday. For the first time in years, I did not go shopping. Instead, I stayed home. In bed. With my man. And a migraine.

Thanksgiving was great with the inlaws. My father-in-law expressed his gratitude for me and my daughter joining their family this year and told us we were a blessing to them. Well, they're a blessing to us as well. I'm so thankful for my sweet husband. He's amazing. Yep, we're still definitely newlyweds.

I love cooking. I cook all the time. I usually make enough for leftovers for lunches or enough to give away or whatever. Munchkin doesn't eat much, although she's starting to eat more now and be a bit less picky. It's been hard with my husband in this body building competition because during our courtship, he ate everything I put in front of him. Not so anymore. Although, he did eat some of everything yesterday (and paid for it today with a belly ache). But I could tell my efforts were appreciated. We showed up with 4 pumpkin pies, a sweet potato casserole with a nut topping, hashbrown casserole, and stuffing. Lots of all of the above. They roasted the bird we'd taken over last Friday, which is when we told my father-in-law and brother-in-law what we were bringing, but somehow mother-in-law didn't get the message (whether they told her or not is another story -- FIL insists yes, MIL insists no). So, she bought a pie and stuffing and potato salad and rolls. Nobody ate any of that, just the homemade stuff we took.

I have a brother-in-law who can eat an entire pizza by himself and wash it down with a half gallon of ice cream. He got a plate ready for himself with an entire drumstick and good sized helpings of everything else, ate a few bites, asked mom if he could have pie, so I handed him one and said, "I made four, this one's yours." His eyes got big and he said, "wow, thanks," took it and his plate to his room and we didn't see him again for a while.

My sister-in-law was working, but came home and there was still food on the table. Enough that she could pick what she wanted and didn't want. She was so excited, and said it was the best Thanksgiving they've ever had. My husband said that made his day. It made mine, too. Apparently last year, there wasn't even any turkey left when she got home from work. (she works in a care center, and they try to split up the holidays into 4-hour shifts so no one is stuck there all day, but they usually eat while she's gone. lol). My father-in-law just kept saying, "We are going to gain weight." My mother-in-law took tiny helpings of everything I made, tasted it, and once she decided she liked it, made her husband get more for her. They're so funny. FIL said he now knows the difference between homemade and store bought and that they need to learn to cook. I laughed.

The thing is, they do know how to cook Island food. My sweetie thought they'd be making some for yesterday but they didn't make any -- they were worried about offending me or something. Really, I just want them to be themselves. We were both sort of disappointed there wasn't any. But it was still good, and it was nice to spend time with the family. We don't see them much, but that's because they don't want to impose. Well, I don't want to impose either, so don't go down there often, and I never know if anyone is going to be home besides the one brother-in-law who has some mental health issues and being alone with him or him and the other brother-in-law isn't comfy for me. So we avoid imposing on them, too.

So, after we got home, I started working, but I started getting a headache. So I went to bed. Hubby was up most of the night, and around 4 o'clock this morning, the headache woke me up. I was too tired to get up and take anything, so I made myself go back to sleep, but I wasn't resting very well. Around 8, I finally got up and took 2 Excedrin with a Pepsi and about 20 minutes later I felt fine.

I hate migraines, but at least it wasn't the kind where I have to go to the InstaCare and get a shot. I hate shots, too. The last time I did that ... whoa. We weren't even engaged yet, but we were dating. That was a rough day. Sis took me to the InstaCare, I got shot in the butt, came home and passed out. She took my daughter home with her. The phone rang all damn day and kept waking me up. I finally woke up enough to call my sweetie and ask him to get kidlet before he came over for our "family" night that night. He did. He'd told me long before I had him whipped and he'd do anything for me, but I didn't entirely believe that or understand it until I was in the hospital this summer when, in my mostly uncoherent state in the ICU when they were pushing morphine and I was puking, he said he was going to go home and sleep and I begged him to stay, so he slept in a chair that night. The rest of the nights, he stayed in a cot in my room. I don't remember asking him to stay that night, but I do remember crying because he was still there after my surgery. I think that's when I really realized how much he loves me. Actually, I'm not sure I entirely know it even now, but I'm grateful for him and for his love for me, and for the fact that he would do just about anything to keep me happy. Even when he's tired.

I'm getting really random, but the gist is this list of things I'm thankful for (not entirely copied from kip, but I did see her list which is much longer than her Thursday 13, and thought I'd start a list here of things I'm thankful for, too).
1. My husband.
2. Our children.
3. The gospel.
4. My health.
5. My friends.
6. The surgery I had this summer, ensuring good health in the future, and reminding me how great it is to feel healthy the rest of the time.
7. Our home.
8. Cars.
9. TOILETS and other indoor plumbing, including dishwashers and washing machines.
10. Electricity.
11. BEDS.
12. Blankets.
13. Clothes ... and not clothes.
14. Air conditioning/central air/heating. Good stuff.
15. Medicine.
16. My job, my husband's job, and our ability to provide for our family.
17. Music -- I'm not talking Smashing Pumpkins or Faith Hill or anything like that, although that's fun, too. I'm talking the classics that I grew up playing. I miss having a piano.
18. Slow dancing with my husband.
19. Parents who sacrifice so we can have better lives.
20. Bridal showers and parties and wedding receptions. Saw people I love whom I haven't seen in years. Good times.
21. Co-workers who make me laugh all day -- Schweddy Balls, indeed.
22. Glasses and/or contacts.
23. Bubble baths.
24. Grandma's painting hanging on my wall -- it's not of her, but a seascape she did in oils. I also have a still life of a fruit bowl because my brother couldn't take it to Japan. I'm betting he'll want it back when they move back here.
25. Babies.
26. Baby wipes and disposable diapers.
27. Faith.
28. I'm thankful I no longer have the evil IUD.
29. My brother-in-law D who introduced me to my husband.
30. Pillows and pillow fights.
31. Massage oil that doesn't break out my skin.
32. Clearer skin than when I had the evil IUD.
33. Skin care.
34. Hot showers.
35. Edible body wash/lotion ... ahem.
36. Shampoo.
37. Hair dryers.
38. The temple and the peace I find there.
39. Eternal marriage.
40. A husband who runs from temptation -- like co-workers hitting on him since he's dropped so much weight, and getting the message across that he's married and not interested.
41. Wedding rings. lol.
42. Pedicures and manicures.
43. Haircuts a la Tilly (who is pregnant and QUITTING. gr.)
44. Exercise. Not that I've been doing as much as I want of late, getting sick over and over puts a cramp in my healthy habits, but I do enjoy working out and am grateful I actually can now.
45. Computers.
46. OxyClean. Luv that stuf.
47. Periods coming when you start stressing about being late 'cuz yer not ready to have another munchkin.
48. Cell phones.
49. Scriptures.
50. The power of prayer.
51. Priesthood blessings.
52. The Atonement.
53. Christmas!
54. Thanksgiving and time with my family.
55. Willow Tree figurines. Good stuf.
56. Drills, wood screws, staple guns, striped fabric, and the inspiration on how to fix my kitchen chairs.
57. Tax returns.
58. Rain. Dancing in the rain. Making out in the rain.
59. Snuggling hubby in bed on a rare lazy morning when neither of us has to work and kidlet keeps herself entertained for a while.
60. Pumpkin pie for breakfast.
61. Turkey-induced comas.
62. Pictures, scrapbooks, and semi-preserved memories.
63. Books.
64. Movies.
65. Jiu jitsu.
66. Airborne. Buy this. Drink it. Stay well. Wish they paid me for all the advertising I do for them. hahahaaha.
67. Hugs and kisses from munchkins.
68. Hugs and kisses from my husband.
69. My aunt the massage therapist, bless her hard-working self. Glad she's here for the holiday so I can get some of these knots out. Hubby tries, but isn't trained except for a few things from her.
70. Airplanes and other modes of transportation that allow us to get from one place to another relatively quickly and painlessly.
71. The pioneers who settled the West.
72. The pioneers who came from the Old World and settled the New.
73. Tres Leches. It's awesome. I also left most of it at the in-laws' since I knew I'd just eat the whole damn thing. lolol.
74. Pumpkin pie with cinnamon whipped cream. Or pumpkin bread pudding with the same. Actually, anything pumpkin at this time of year ...
75. Nutmeg and other spices that make food so wonderful.

Man, that's enough. My hands are tired. So is my brain. At least I'm not nauseated anymore from the migraine (nausea lasted all day). And since hubby's tummy finally calmed down (it's 8 o'clock at night), we're gonna go see Casino Royale. So, I bid you adieu.

So, it's Friday night. Not date night in our house, I usually have to work. We picked up Munchkin from school and went to Costco and bought turkeys for Turkey Day next week for my family and my in-laws, and have now dropped off the turkeys at their respective houses for cooking.

Marriage. It's awesome, my husband is fabulous, but it's sure different than being single and just doing whatever the hell I want for the holidays. or any other day for that matter. lol. After discussions with hubby, parents, and sister, we decided we're eating with the in-laws, and mom and dad are eating at sister's house. We'll have the 'rents over for dinner another day during the week they're here, and we'll have a party of some sort one of the other days.

Part of the problem with the holiday and traditions and me cooking is that I have to work a full shift that day. I've not had to do that for 3 years, since my first Thanksgiving on this job. My old boss let me have it off every year, but I have a new boss this year and missed the boat with asking for the day off. (I did get Christmas off, which is more important in my mind, so it's all good).

I don't mind spending the holiday with the in-laws -- I like them, they're good to me, and it'll be interesting to see how Tongans celebrate a traditional American holiday. Thus far, whenever they've eaten in my presence, they hold back and don't eat as much as they typically do. I'm wondering if this trend will hold out on the biggest pigout fest Americans ever thought of. I'm making some dishes I know Munchkin will eat, and my sweet husband loves and says his family will enjoy, so hopefully it'll work out all right. Cheesy hashbrowns (similar to Cracker Barrel's dish by the same name), crustless sweet potato pie with a streusel topping, dressing, pumpkin pie, and broccoli. The broccoli is an effort to provide something besides turkey that hubby can "legally" eat during the last 3-4 weeks of his body-building competition. Whatever else they prepare, I know Munchkin will be fed and we'll share some of the foods we love with our new family. I'm actually looking forward to spending some time with them.

One of the things that this Thanksgiving and the preparation going into it has illustrated to me is just how awesome my husband is, our marriage is. The discussions have been peaceful, loving, no drama at all. In fact, even the times we have argued, he's only ever raised his voice once in my presence and it wasn't directed at me (or Munchkin). No drama, no yelling, no name calling. Just respect and love even in a disagreement or misunderstanding. And the discussion about where to spend Turkey Day really was that: A discussion. Not a demand or a tyrant telling me what we'd be doing or vice versa, but a mutual discussion. I sure do love my husband.

Holidays were HELL when I was married the first time -- fights, drama, yelling, name calling, throwing things ... and that was before we ever left the house to see either of our families. Once his nutso relatives got involved, it was a million times worse. I avoided his family as much as possible living in a small town, but at the holidays, we always at least saw them. After 3 hellish Turkey Days and Christmases, I dreaded the holidays and was glad I got out that October, just before Halloween. That Thanksgiving was really hard -- it was my wedding anniversary and my family didn't understand just how important the traditions we'd had growing up were to me on that particular day and I couldn't explain it, so instead of the traditional dinner, we went out to eat. I cried the whole time. I enjoyed the time with my family and the movie we saw that day, but missed Mom's dressing and cranberry relish and the other things we traditionally ate that day that I hadn't been able to enjoy for the 3 years prior. Since then, we've had a lot of good holidays, full of love and joy of being together, no matter if it was just my daughter, me, and my parents, or the whole clan, eating out or cooking up a storm, they were still good.

I love my family. I'm so thankful for them and their love and support the last 7 years especially. And I'm thankful for my new husband and new family and the good times we've had so far, and I look forward to many more good holiday seasons to come.

Don't have a ton to say today. Happy I got my monthly. I'm still in love with my husband. My daughter is starting to feel better from her cold or whatever she had. And I feel better about my job today. WHY?

I edited some of the work India has done. I've never laughed so hard. mwahahahaha. I'm mean, I suppose, especially since someone said, "oh, they probably laugh at us trying to transcribe for Indian docs." Well. Those *were* Indian docs. It was so sad ... and funny.

Gotta go give Ms. Germy her prednisolone.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

TGIF. Seriously. WHY? Well, found out this week my company is destroying our healthcare bennies (seriously, it's a nasty situation), I've had the flu but am somewhat better today, but my supervisor hasn't ever approved my time off for Mon. and Tues. when I was really bad off, so I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop from Corporate. Pay cuts? No more paid time off? No more rentention bonus? No Flex-spend account (which we really need for next year to get hubby's dental work done)? Gah. They're lame and if they do cut my pay, I'll be looking elsewhere ... even though when I've looked in the past, no one could touch what I make there. *sigh*

The medical field is going to hell in a handbasket PDQ, and much of that is the pork bellies on Capitol Hill. Sadly, I've considered myself a Republican much of my life, but am now going to register as a Democrat -- a Blue Dog Democrat to be more specific. They support the average American, NOT big business, are pro-life, pro-NRA, anti gay marriage (why can't we do like Mexico City and just call them gay unions -- they get the bennies of married heteros ...) ... I'm thinking of getting more involved in politics. WHY? HIPAA was passed to protect our private medical information from being shared with anyone without our permission. Most people in this country don't know that someone like me exists -- I type medical records all day. I have to comply with HIPAA -- I don't share personal information on anyone, give no specifics when requesting help understanding a doctor, and do my best to provide the most accurate record I possibly can.

Sadly, I've always worked for a company who outsources medical records off shore -- our friends in India get to type them so we don't have to stay up all night. This has always bothered me, and one of the main reasons is that HIPAA can't be enforced in other countries. So, our friends in India (and before anyone gets ornery with me, I have nothing against people from other countries) type your medical records and are not legally obligated to keep that information private. That includes your Social Security Number, if your hospital or clinic happens to identify you by that number. Anyone else concerned about this? Our company insists they do keep it private, but who the heck really knows? Our private medical information is over there, floating around. Not only does this bother me, but it bothers me that my credit card company and my cable company has moved their customer service to India as well, meaning my financial information, including SSN and mother's maiden name, are in another country. Why should my information be anywhere but on Ameircan soil, with other Americans protecting it?

The company I originally started working for almost 4 years ago has been swallowed up by another company, and our bennies are getting cut. The smaller company always did outsource off shore, and it didn't bother me quite as much then ... partly because they did it and still made sure we had good bennies and that we were happy, but the big company insists they can't do that. So. My open-heart surgery this year cost me $4500, hitting my out of pocket max for the first time in my LIFE. Had it happened NEXT year, it would have cost over $10K before I hit my OOP max. And for the privilege of owing more than double the debt, my premium would have remained exactly. the. same. Around 85% to 90% of medical transcriptionists are women. Our corporate employees (most of whom are men), however, get to keep our old insurance. Can anyone say discrimination?

Thank heaven for Nestle and their insurance through hubby. Hopefully they don't decide to become idiots like my employers.

Speaking of hubby, I'm completely and totally jealous of my sweet husband, who has dropped like 40 pounds of FAT in about 6 weeks -- going from a tight 40 waist pair of jeans (which i can now wear, blargh), to a size 34 waist (which he looks *tight* in). Go Moe! He's working very hard to win this competition, and I sure hope he does. :)

Today, I have the flu. I have the flu and other bugs a lot these days. The body still isn't happy after open-heart surgery, still feel like an alien force has invaded and cursed me. But life is good anyway. Even when I'm emotional, moody, and sick, my sweet man is still loving and patient with me. Even when I don't deserve it. :) awwww. We're disgustingly happy.

So, I started a blog because I checked up on kipluck and colorchrome and read their blogs one morning instead of working (hey! I logged out of the timeclock first!), and realized I probably need one of my own, where I can be as narcissistic as I like and talk only about me. So I started one. And realized I'm not all that interesting. ha.

I'm 30 years old, happily married, mother of one, step-mother of another one, and content with life as we know it. My surgery earlier this year was to repair something wrong with my left ventricle which I've apparently had my whole life but never knew about until shortly before my 30th birthday. It's all better now, I mostly am back to normal with energy and stamina, but I still do get sick frequently (see above).

I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, otherwise known as the Mormons. Yep, I go to church every Sunday and believe in the Gospel whole-heartedly. If I didn't, I wouldn't be where I am today. I believe the Priesthood was restored through Joseph Smith, and through that Priesthood, I was blessed during my surgery and recovery to be as healthy as I am today, just 4 months later. I believe in the Book of Mormon and other scriptures, including the Bible, and I believe that the Lord has a plan for each of us. Sometimes we get impatient with Him, but if we can convince ourselves to wait for His timing, things turn out often much better than if we'd taken our own shortcuts. Trust me. I'm living proof of this.

Ten years ago, I was engaged to a drunk, and I eventually married him and became a battered wife. I was very rebellious and didn't want to wait on the Lord's timing, and because of that, I placed myself in a very dangerous position with a very stupid man and nearly died. I had a child by him and left when she was just a tiny infant. Then I stayed single and bitter until one day when my brother-in-law decided to hook me up with his friend, the soft-spoken hottie Tongan I'm completely in love with and am now married to. Our wedding was 8 weeks after my surgery. He's been there through all of this with me, and I've never been happier. Following the Lord's plan has given me much more satisfaction and joy than being a rebellious, prideful person. I'm still prideful at times, but try not to be rebellious anymore. That being said, my husband knew we'd get married from our first date. It took me a lot longer to see it.

This is pretty random, but maybe that's because I am. I'll blog more later, but had to get some thoughts down today before I lose my mind. See, I'm a writer and a musician. Without a computer or a piano the last few years, I've become entirely too career focused. If I can write, even if it's just random stuff, or if I can play a piano every day, I'm fine. But now we have a home computer that isn't slower than molasses going uphill in January, so I can write a bit. A piano isn't a possibility. Yet.

ahhh. I feel better now. A bit.

So, this is my new blog. Just had to make one after catching up on Colorchrome's and Kip's this morning instead of working. Yep. I'll post more later, but wanted to check it out now, see how it flies.

So, this is my new blog. Just had to make one after catching up on Colorchrome's and Kip's this morning instead of working. Yep. I'll post more later, but wanted to check it out now, see how it flies.
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1 comment:

colorchrome wrote: WOOOO!!!! Welcome to the Blogside.... mwahahahahahahaha

um.. yeah. hee hee... I need to add you to my links list now...

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NOTE: I'm copying/moving posts and comments to this blog ... i think. it requires that I re-publish the other blog individually to get to the comments ... it might be too much work. -- 04/02/07