oh NOES!!

I just realized the most horrible thing ...

I can't steal all the kids' Easter candy this year.

I also won't be able to indulge in our traditional Easter morning brekkie. (tomb rolls = hollow sweet rolls).

*sob*

I have a fantasy

That some day, I'll be able to sleep as long as I want/need without anyone waking me up for any reason.

No boogers to clean. No food to make. No butts to wipe. No messes to tackle. No required hugs or snuggles or anything. No toddler kicking me in his sleep. Nobody waking me up to show me the cool rock they found at the park. No bouncy balls smacking me in the face or chest while I rest. No preteen emotion storms of angst or slamming cupboard doors while she does her chores. No alarm clock telling me it's time to get up to get Kiddo to school or myself to work. No baby punching my bladder while I'm sleeping, to the point I'm wake up about to wet my pants.

Just sleep. Blessed, peaceful, deep sleep.

I fantasized about this for about an hour this morning. Then I realized something.

That day that will surely come as my children grow up, but I will miss those things! Maybe not the boogers or messy pants, but I'll miss Little Mister coming to lift my eyelids to check if I'm really asleep or just pretending. I'll miss his warm little body curled up next to mine. The total trust in his face as he pats me on the cheek or runs up for a hug and a kiss. The words he says that mean, "I love you," but sound nothing like it, but when I say, "I love you too," he gets a huge grin and nods as if I understood him perfectly.

I know there will come a time when we're done having babies that I'll still miss feeling them move inside me. I'll miss that sweet newborn smell and the special nursing time you only get when they're little.

There will probably even be a day when I miss the prepubertal whine fests, as Kiddo becomes a full-fledged teen and I won't be able to do anything right. And even if she's not that bad as a teenager, she'll still grow up and move away, and I'll miss her coming in to tell me every single thing about her day, or waking me up to ask me to pray with her because she had another nightmare.

So for now, I'm trying to fix my attitude and enjoy the moment we're in instead of wishing myself out of it. After all, they don't stay little very long, and if you don't enjoy it while you're in it, you are missing out on something amazing.

Friday Fave Five!!

1. Lunch with girlfriends. The bloggy lunch last weekend was way fun. My college girlfriends and I went to lunch Wednesday, also way fun, though in a different way. One of them is moving out of state very soon, and that sucks. I'm going to miss her, though I don't see her often. Plus, the food was way better than at Golden Corral. Just sayin'.

2. My blood sugars are almost all at their targets now, though I think I just pushed my luck with my "snack" of french vanilla hot chocolate. i was cold, it was in my carb limits ... lol. we'll see what my sugars look like before bed!

3. Steph suggested I get a water bottle with a straw because it's easier to suck down water (or soda) with a straw -- you get more. Since I bought it, I've been drinking almost 3 quarts (96 ounces) a day. Yes, I'm peeing constantly, but between that and my blood sugars, I'm feeling SO much better.

4. I never got to experience the joy of this with Kiddo at such a young age, but Little Mister actually ate some of everything on his plate tonight. I've been offering him a bit of everything at every meal, but he just eats what he likes and ignores the rest. Or throws it at me. Every time we tried to get Kiddo to try something new when she was little, she'd projectile vomit. Not worth it. ANYWAY. I made salmon and rice and green beans and sliced some strawberries for dinner tonight. He ate all his salmon and rice, and took two bites of each of the green beans and strawberries *voluntarily*, not even snuck into something (which I have done with the green beans before). He's getting more adventurous with food, which is good since I thought I killed his appetite for new things when I was only eating cold cereal for weeks and, thus, so was he. haha. (Kiddo did NOT eat all of her salmon, though did eat her strawberries and green beans. lol)

5. Kiddo got new glasses this week. They are very cute and, even better, she can see the crap on the floor when I tell her to pick up! HAHAHAHA! I'll have to take pics this weekend.

The Joys of Walmart Bathrooms

First a confession: I HATE public bathrooms. *especially* when I have a toddler in tow. Some bathrooms are worse than others obviously, and some I really don't mind going in. Like the restroom at Gloria's Little Italy -- clean, well supplied, decent design ... But I was able to leave my toddler with my girlfriends with whom I was lunching today rather than take him in a public bathroom. Again.

Toddlers do not keep their hands to themselves. They want to touch everything. They WILL touch everything. They don't understand "germs" or "gross" or "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA". Babies are easier; they are confined. Preschoolers do typically obey when you say "yucky" or something along those lines.

But my little boy has a newfound love of flushing the potty every.single.time. I pee. Which is a lot right now as I'm 27 weeks pregnant. He was working on potty learning, but realized it's much easier to use the diaper and then just flush after mom. *sigh*

I had to go to Walmart the other day and realized on my way in that I had to go. NOW. Thumper kept whacking my bladder. I plopped Little Mister in a cart and buckled him and headed for the "family" restroom in the back of the store since the cart would fit in the bathroom with me and I could keep my eye on him while maintaining some semblance of privacy.

It was gross. Not THE grossest bathroom I've ever been in, but it was pretty disgusting. And poorly designed. The toilet was really close to the wall, and the paper holder was just in front of it. Nowhere for my left knee to go. It was too close and yet not close enough to reach the toilet paper easily, especially given my currently expanding stomach. I finished my business, but every time I leaned forward to get toilet paper, the toilet flushed. Normally not a problem, but it was that cheap, thin crap stores use, and it was only coming out a few squares at a time, and Thumper was protesting every time I leaned forward, so I'd have to lean back to breathe, then go back for more.

When the toilet flushed, it was almost like the poor dude's version of a bidet. Not something I wanted to experience in Walmart, thank you very much.

D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G.

I came home and showered. And will never use that bathroom again. Even if I wet myself.

quickie update

I met with the dietitian today and got my monitor and diet instructions. I have to test 7 times a day, but I'm eating 7 times a day, too. hahaha. All afternoon and early evening, following their carb and other food recommendations, my sugars were right on target. Until I had a little chocolate as part of my snack earlier tonight. Even though I had some protein with it and it was within my allotted carb count, I started getting a headache again almost immediately. The next reading was *barely* in the range they want, so I think chocolate is out except rarely. Booooo!!!

I go back next week to meet with them again and give them a copy of my test log. From there, they'll decide on insulin therapy if I need it, and whatever other followup. We're hoping I can cut back on the number of times I'm having to monitor every day if I can get it under control with diet and exercise this week.

Little Mister isn't sleeping well tonight, so I'd best get some work done so I can snuggle the boy. Thanks for all the sympathy and well wishes, here, on FB, and privately!

Getting a phone call

From a doctor's office before 9 a.m. is NEVER a good thing.

I failed.

They said something about having me see a diabetes educator for diet and monitoring. Awesome, I can deal with that.

The diabetes educator called and left a message about INSULIN. I don't want to do insulin, but if it comes down to it and I can't control this with diet, I will. I'm waiting for another call from them -- they didn't answer when I called them back.

I'm going to try for a nap now. Wahoo.

The Tale of Orange Goo

Some of you may recall I did a 1-hour glucose test to screen for gestational diabetes a couple of weeks ago.

Some of you may also recall I failed that test.

By ONE point.

They still required me to do the 3-hour test and, because of possible risks to my baby and me, I went ahead and did it.

When the nurse called to inform me I'd failed, she told me I needed to fast for TWELVE HOURS starting the night before the test and be at the office at 8:30 the next morning. For a pregnant woman who must eat smallish amounts every 2 hours, this is a problem. Especially one who is usually up until 1 or 2 a.m. working!

Because we knew I'd be at the office for over 3 hours, the husband and I had to plan for me to take the test on a Monday since the husband doesn't work Sunday nights, so he could sleep some that night and watch our son.

So last night, in an effort to distract myself from my rumbling stomach, I drank a LOT of ice water, watched New Moon (meh) and did some hand quilting on our wedding quilt. It now has both my husband's and my names, so I told him he's really stuck with me from here on out. He didn't think that was funny.

That distraction method didn't work so well. I went to bed. Couldn't sleep, so I turned on my Alias DVDs and crocheted for a while. Finally around 1 a.m. I was able to fall asleep.

My son came stumbling into my room at 4 this morning, crying. The husband put him on the bed with me and went into Little Mister's room to sleep. But man ... it was hard enough to get to sleep, but then to be woken up and *still* hearing my stomach growling ... and most of my dreams were plagued with food. Even goldfish crackers sounded divine in my sleep. I kept dreaming I was eating, and kept waking myself up to make sure I wasn't. I sure as heck didn't want to have to fast at night again. So I was a tad grumpy. He did go back to sleep and I drifted off eventually. Just in time for him to get up at 6:30.

I sent him to his sister, who had to get up for school anyway.

They came back and watched TV while I slept. I instructed Kiddo to feed Little Mister breakfast so I didn't have to look at food I couldn't eat. She gave him a bag of cereal, which he promptly dumped on me and the bed, and some juice, which he also promptly dumped on me and the bed. I finally got up at 7:30, showered, took kiddo to school, dropped New Moon (meh) off at the redbox, and went to the doctor's office.

I had hoped I'd be alone for the test so I could have some "me" time. I armed myself with 2 bottles of water, a DVD player, Alias DVDs, and the afghan I started crocheting last night as a distraction. But there was another gal there who was a chatterbox and whose draws were 5 minutes after each of mine. She was a nice gal whose babies will be slightly closer together than mine, so it was fun having adult conversation, but still.

I went in to get the fasting blood draw, and the nurse asked me if I'd been fasting for eight hours. My jaw dropped. "The nurse who called me told me TWELVE. I haven't eaten since 8:30 last night." She was so angry! Asked me if I knew her name (no), and said she probably knew who said it, but that wasn't very nice to do to a pregnant woman. NO, it really wasn't.

The first blood draw hurt. A lot. I'm not usually a wimp, but that one was painful, and she's never hurt me like that before. *sniff* Then she handed me the bottle of Great Orange Goo and told me I had 5 minutes to drink it. And that if I threw up, even a little of it, it negated the test and I'd have to come back and try again. Joy.

If you've never had to take the Goo, it's akin to drinking flat orange soda as thick as maple syrup.

It's so sad, but that tasted SO good right then! I think I finished in about 30.2 seconds. She reminded me to drink lots of water, and I went out into the waiting room, where I started getting a headache and had Orange Goo burps for the next hour or so. With each burp, I started worrying I'd lose it. But I didn't. At the next draw, which didn't hurt nearly so much, she reminded me to drink water, told me that it would help with the headache, and sent me back into the waiting room.

About 5 minutes after that draw, I started feeling better. Thankfully. And the next two draws were just fine. She told me to keep drinking water. After the last one, she asked if I was still drinking water and I said "Yep, just finished one bottle." Then she told me not to eat anything sweet or any fruit the rest of the day (I only had granola bars in the car, drat it all) and to keep drinking water, and sent me on my way.

I had to eat, so I scarfed one granola bar, drank the other bottle of water, and hurried home for lunch. The husband was in a Mood as Little Mister had cried most of the time I was gone, and the husband started dwelling on what would happen when this baby comes and I'm in the hospickle. Oy. After a can of ravioli (split with Little Mister), two egg salad sandwiches, and a big bowl of salad, I started feeling better. I'd taken LM to the park after the ravioli and then brought him home. He fell asleep on the bed while I was making the rest of my lunch, so after Kiddo came home, I curled up on the bed with him for a nap. So nice, though I could have slept a LOT longer.

As of now, the headache has returned and I'm hungry again. Big surprise. but you bet I'm having a Coke with dinner, even though it's full of sugar. Yum.